


Stay Low

by NewerConstellations



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), 69 dude, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Banging into love, Bars and Pubs, Battle Couple, Blow Jobs in a Car, Calligraphy skillzzz on point, Cowgirl Position, Doggy Style, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Fookin Hux, Google mischief, HEA, Hux is an asshole, It's the cops!, Kylo in a Tux, Lots of sex okay, Missionary Position, Neither are you, Not safe for karate, Opposite of slow-burn, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Quick Ignite, Semi-Public Sex, Sexy slow dancing, Shower Sex, Snoke is a Prick, Strong Rey, Table Sex, Tesla lovin’, Trust & healing, Working through abandonment issues, adoption issues, architecture, civil engineering, complete except epilogue, earn your cake, fluffy tickles, late arriving angst, mild spanking, smut with feelings, throne room-esque, toxic workplace, updated sex tags weeee, warm bath self-love, where have you been angst oh wait here you are, wow this sounds filthy now, you're not alone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-05-07 16:51:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 66,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14675355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewerConstellations/pseuds/NewerConstellations
Summary: Visionary architect Kylo Ren walks into the Starkiller Bar on a Friday night, sick and tired of First Order Associates and his tyrant boss Ken Snoke.  Little does he know he's made a pretty little enemy of civil engineering student Rey, his Uncle Luke's student, who won't give up her favorite seat so easily.  As their attraction ignites, their bodies make promises to each other that their hearts struggle to keep.  Will the First Order destroy them, or can they kill the past together?  Or, porn with plot, #banging into love style.  NSFW or karate.





	1. The Starkiller

Rey doesn’t remember much of her first night at The Starkiller.  Her buddy Finn had dragged her out that night and although she's only known him for a few years, he gets her like few ever have.  “Come on, Peanut, it’s great.  You’ll love it.  It has that old timey vibe thing you love.  Plus, happy hour for students is extended by an hour because they know we’re broke.” His wide grin sealed the deal for her.

He was right.  Once she walked in, it was love at first sight.  An old, renovated art deco building houses the cozy bar with high ceilings, vintage fans, dark woodwork and gilded mirrors.  A red neon sign flickers it's welcome to the artists, students, and locals that enjoy a stiff drink and a late-night D.J. after the work week.  Not pretentious in the least. Rey thinks it is the perfect hang out.

It didn’t take long for Rey to consider it _her_ bar.  She’s there almost every week.  Her gang of friends from _Advanced Civil Engineering 302_ take bets on who’s going to score highest on the Friday quiz and the winner buys the first round.  It’s their Friday tradition and they all schedule their weekends around the Starkiller happy hour.

They’ve staked out their turf on the far-right hand side of the bar in front of the cash registers, with Rey sitting on the end seat.  It’s the perfect base for the night: close to the dance floor, quieter than the main drag, and a clear sightline to the front door and bathrooms.  Rey's favorite bartender B.B knows her so well he pops the cap on her favorite I.P.A. before she’s even sat down. It just feels like home.

She may not remember her first night at Starkiller, but Rey _definitely_ remembers the first time she saw that dark-haired interloper sitting in her seat.

 --------------------------------------------

Rey is the winner ( _loser?_ ) on that week’s Friday quiz, so she heads out straight from her tech lab to save their seats.  Rey cuts across campus in a zig zag, familiar with her route after three years, and takes in the late afternoon sun and hint of sweetness in the air as the flowers on the trees start to open.  

She texts the gang to take drink orders, which to be honest never change, but there’s always a chance Rose may change her mind, so she asks anyway:

 

_Rey:  Guys drinks?_

_Rose:  Hmm. Let me think._

_Finn:  Vodka tonic w lime xoxo_

_Poe:  Whisky sour.  Always whisky sour_

_Rose:  hmmm…any specials?_

_Finn:  Come on Rosie, u know what u want ;)_

_Rose:  LOL Rum w cherry coke  Ugh_

_Rey:  on it_

 

Rey enters the bar looking down at her phone and beelines to her favorite stool without looking up-- until she almost walks into a wall.  

A wall made out of a man. Sitting in _her seat._

Rey’s so surprised she just stares for a second and blinks stupidly at the broad shoulders and thick dark, shaggy hair directly in front of her and Sitting. In. Her. Seat.  The big guy is talking to two others, a small mousy one and a redhead, all dressed in black professional attire with a slightly artsy edge. _Probably in tech or something,_ she thinks.

Rey mutters under her breath as B.B. catches her eye from behind the bar, clearly reading her annoyed frown.  B.B. smiles wryly at her and shrugs his shoulders, hitching his eyebrows almost up to his bald head, as if to say “it ain’t my fault.”

B.B. slides her bottle down the bar but he falls a bit short and her beer stops to rest in front of the interloper, of course.  The huge guy hasn’t moved an inch.

As Rey grits her teeth, she leans around him to reach for her beer, close enough to notice that… _he smells good._  Noticeably good.  Musky, spicy, warm.  She inhales but then catches herself and scrunches up her nose, quickly snagging her beer as she moves down a few empty seats and huffs as she plops down.

 _Who is this guy?_  

Rey’s annoyance is barely contained, and she puts her phone and beer on the bar as she shrugs off her jacket.  From the corner of her eye she sees the chair-thief turn in her direction, then do a slow double-take.

Rey meaningfully ignores him staring at her as she pulls out a chapstick from her pocket and turns slightly to her left to catch the light on her face as she switches her phone to selfie mode.  She uses her phone as a mirror to apply the chapstick, brushes her eyebrows with a pinky finger and tucks a stray hair back into her messy half-up bun.   _Good enough,_ Rey thinks.  She doesn’t have much use for make-up, she’s a wash-and-go girl, which suits her just fine.

She notices a flicker of movement over her shoulder and angles her phone slightly to check it out.  The guy is STILL staring at her. _Unbelievable._

Rey puts her phone down and pockets the chapstick.  She takes a swig of her beer for courage, puts it down a little dramatically, and whips around to face the chair-thief head on, meeting his eyes with her own steely gaze in an act of aggression.

And then Rey freezes, surprised.

The guy is hot, hotter than she expected.  Definitely older than she is and all man. Longish dark hair, light goatee just made for scratching and cheekbones you could cut cheese with.  He is all unusual angles and edges sitting on top of a huge, thick frame.

Not to mention the deepest, darkest eyes absolutely fixed on her in a piercing stare.  It is his eyes that capture her as her breath hitches in her throat and her skin starts to feel warm.

Rey grew up in a rough area of town and knows how to hold her own.  She’s small but strong, and often picks fights that she’s not sure she can win.  Maybe that is why her face has set into a firm scowl before she even realizes it.  Eyes narrowing, mouth a pressed line, chin jutting out, and just daring him to blink.

Staring him down as if she is offended by his hotness.  

Neither of them smile and Rey matches him in intensity as she feels her cheeks grow warm in response to his gaze.

After a few tense moments, Rey notices his eyes widen.  She considers herself the victor of their battle when his full, plush lips barely part, his vague interest shifting into a look of amazement.  She presses her lips tighter to suppress a wicked smirk and doesn’t break eye contact with the stranger until her phone buzzes to life beneath her:

 

_Finn:  We’re almost there, just parking_

_Rey:  Cool drink orders in_

 

Rey refuses to look back at the guy as she flags down B.B. to put in their drink order (he already knows their order, of course, and she knows he knows it since it never changes, but B.B. humors her anyway).

Rey steadfastly ignores her adversary when Poe, Finn and Rose grab their drinks.  The rest of the night goes off per usual, with a few quick stolen glances by Rey in his direction that end the minute he starts to turn her way.  She whispers to Rose, her best girl pal whom she tells everything, and Rose looks over Rey’s shoulder for her to report back in a gleeful whisper, “he’s looking at you!” while suppressing a squeal as her almond eyes sparkle.  Rey bites her lip.

Even though she adamantly refuses to look at the interloper, she somehow manages to track his exact location in the bar for the next few hours, sensing him without looking.  His dark frame a black hole with his own field of gravity, a shadow that perturbs but pulls at her from her periphery.

By the fourth round, Rey is so caught up with her friends, throwing her head back and full-throated laughing as Poe does his angry Professor Holdo impression, that she doesn’t even notice when the guy leaves.  

When Rey finally realizes he’s gone she stills for a moment and feels a pang of loss, until Finn has her laughing and all is as it should be at Starkiller once again.

 


	2. Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is sick of his toxic work place environment at First Order Associates and thirsty for something more when he sees a gorgeous girl walks into the Starkiller. Her beatific smile is blinding. 
> 
> Kylo tracks the girl in the mirror, mesmerized, as she walks straight to him without looking up- as if she’s here just for him. His eyes trace her from head to toe, taking in her lithe body that’s both strong and graceful, a gazelle and a lion, all at once.
> 
> So why is she frowning at him?

Kylo Ren is sick of it all.

Sick of Don Mitaka’s obsequious blathering.

Sick of Christie Phasma’s passive-aggressive digs.

Sick of Armie Hux’s snide manipulations.

Sick of Ken Snoke’s explosive temper.

Sick of the First Order Associates entirely, actually.

Kylo is sick of the negative energy and the destruction.  This isn’t what he wanted.

When Kylo had joined the firm as a partner two years ago, he had the highest of hopes.  Ken Snoke, the founder, had wooed him over to his firm promising innovation. Freedom. Kylo shared Snoke’s vision that modern large scale architecture had become derivative, chaotic, undisciplined.  Under Snoke’s tutelage, Kylo would finally find a place that accepted his talents and ideas, would challenge him, and in Snoke personally, a mentor who could finally help him reach his full potential.  

Or so he thought.

But Kylo was wrong.  What he had hoped would be a partnership foundationed on trust and respect is actually a thinly-veiled dictatorship.  Ken Snoke is a master manipulator, a wizard of lies, whose tempers are legendary in the field. Snoke maintains control over every aspect of the firm through fear and intimidation, quashing independent thought and rebellion of any kind.

Kylo didn’t turn his back on his mentor, his family, and his former institution for this.  Kylo’s dreams of testing boundaries and creating a new paradigm of design are being slowly choked out of him by a man who has an unlimited thirst for control.  

Snoke is using Kylo for his own benefit, stealing his Kylo’s ideas and calling them his own, using his prominence as a visionary to burnish his own image.  Kylo’s spirit is withering in the toxic environment as his bitterness and resentment grow.

You could feel the negativity surge as you walked into the First Order building.  The worst part is that rather than diffusing it, Kylo is succumbing to the dark energy.  He lets it invade him, poisoning his attitude, his self-worth, even his creative mind. The toxic workplace draws out his darkest side, and Kylo is disgusted with himself for succumbing to it as much as he is revolted by Snoke.  

Kylo doesn’t know how much longer he can take the torture.  As soon as his latest design project is complete, he will find a way out of the partnership, at any cost.

\-----------------------

When Snoke’s chief toady Hux suggests a Friday work meeting out of the office, Kylo agrees enthusiastically.  Anything to leave that building. Mitaka tags along, as always, a meek terrier following Ren wherever he goes.

As the three men walk down the street to Hux’s favorite trendy bistro, Kylo notices the Starkiller bar sign flickering on.  Something in it strikes a chord in him. Sick of routine, sick of being controlled, he makes a beeline to the door, moving on instinct.

“Ren, what are you doing?  I have a reservation at Chez Louis!” Hux loudly whines behind him.

“Let’s do something new, Hux,” Kylo growls out.

Mitaka looks anxiously back between the two, then scurries after Ren as Hux reluctantly follows.

The bar is a mix of college hangout dive and restored art deco decor.  Kylo immediately responds to this blend of old and new. He takes a seat at the end of the bar as Hux follows him, grumbling.

As they discuss upcoming projects and PR matters, which is Hux’s wheelhouse, Kylo grows bored.  He is on his second vodka straight-up with a lime when he looks up and into the mirrored wall behind the bar.  He sees the front door swing open behind him, then a blinding flash as the setting sun refracts off the glass. Kylo has to blink in the dark from the dazzling light.

Then a gorgeous girl walks in with the sun, smiling down at her phone.  Her beatific smile is even more blinding than the light.

Kylo tracks the girl in the mirror, mesmerized, as she walks straight to him without looking up.  As if she’s here just for him. His eyes trace her from head to toe, taking in her lithe body that’s both strong and graceful as she moves, a gazelle and a lion all at once.

The girl comes to an abrupt stop at his back.  She looks up then and he can feel her exhale shifting the air just behind him.  Then she frowns and knits her brow, irritated, looking around to catch the bartender’s eye.  

Kylo absurdly wonders for a split second if she can sense the dark stain in him, Snoke’s voice in his head even now telling him he’s worthless.  Kylo looks down and scowls, then turns to pretend to listen to Hux.

The bartender slides a beer and the girl has to lean around him, so close now he can feel the heat she is putting off.  She pauses in his orbit and he hears her inhale. He can feel her sunny warmth vibrating just inches from his touch, tantalizingly close, and as she moves away the air grows colder.

Kylo’s eyes alight on the bartender, who is wiping down the bar.  The older man is stifling a laugh. Kylo quirks an eyebrow at him.

“I think you made a pretty little enemy there.  You’re sitting in her regular seat,” the bartender says jovially.  

Kylo feels something snake around inside, curious and pleased.  He has caught this girl’s attention.

He casually glances over at her, but Kylo can’t resist drawing back to stare.  She is looking at herself in her phone, fixing her hair and applying chapstick to her wide, delicious little mouth.   _Oh, I can imagine where I’d like like that mouth to go…_

Kylo is lost in a dream when she abruptly turns to face him with an arresting look.  She has no fear as her gaze burns into him, as if she’d like to kill him or… something else, perhaps.

Kylo holds her eyes and studies her perfect features one by one.  Wide hazel eyes full of intent. Perfectly pert nose sitting amongst tan- _are those freckles? oh my God_ \- smooth skin, and her rosebud lips drawn in a sharp line, her blindingly bright smile tucked away from him tightly.  He parts his lips to breathe when his chest feels too tight under her heated stare.

After a few moments, the girl’s eyes positively sparkle as a smirk pulls at the corner of her mouth before she abruptly turns away from him to her phone.

Kylo is left in the dark again.

“Ren, will you PLEASE focus?” Hux hisses at him.

Kylo turns his attention back to Hux for the rest of the dull topics that he cares nothing about.  But he keeps a tab on the girl through the mirror.

He sees her group of friends arrive, all students based on their backpacks and jeans.  He hears her peals of laughter, and sees how she throws her head back in pure glee, that bright white smile lighting up her whole face, laughing from deep in her throat.  He feels a twinge of envy, wanting some of that glow for himself.

She never turns back to him, but whispers to her girl friend and they shoot furtive glances his way.  The friend has less game than her, and he can tell by her reactions that he is being discussed. Kylo smiles down at his drink as his insides warm up.

Kylo continues to ignore Hux as he pulls out his phone and makes an appointment for next week:

_Friday, Starkiller 5 pm._

Kylo abruptly walks out on Hux mid-sentence, quite enjoying his incoherent sounds as he leaves him flustered and irate in his wake.

 


	3. Spar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey can’t place why she is so angry at him. Is it his superior attitude, or is she feeling insecure? No, he had definitely acted surprised when she said she was an engineering student. Or is she just pissed that his firm ass (not that she noticed) has stolen her seat two weeks in a row? Whatever it is that prompted her acidic tone, it just isn’t like her. Call it the Kylo Ren effect.

The next Friday, Rey walks hurriedly across campus to Starkiller.  She’s had a tough week with exams and picking up some extra shifts at work, so she’s itching to let off some steam.  Finn won (lost?) the first round tonight but she volunteered to save their seats just to get out of lab a little earlier.  Thirty minutes before happy hour starts, should be plenty of time.

As she walks in the bar, she stops in her tracks.  Dammit, if that tall, dark usurper isn’t back again and sitting in her seat!

 

The dark stranger is looking down when she approaches, his large frame curled inwards.  This time he’s alone, dressed in a soft charcoal grey v-neck sweater stretching valiantly to cover his wide back and thick biceps, and black slim jeans.  She takes in the sight of this man, who looks two sizes too big for the bar stool, and feels… _hmm, agitated? Is that the word?_

Rey boldly decides to sit right next to him to save the other seats for her buddies.   _His friends will just have to stand_ , she thinks with a malicious grin.  Teach him to take what’s hers.  Rey nods to B.B. and then notices the man is sketching in a black leather journal.  He’s so engrossed that she lets her curiosity get the better of her and peers down at his work slyly.  At first she only sees abstract shapes, then her brain recognizes a pattern and Rey realizes they are structures.  Unusual slopes and angles, but structures nonetheless. Rey is intrigued.

B.B. slides her first bottle over with a smile as she sits straight up, and she pulls out her phone to kill time.  Rey is close enough to the guy to smell a faint whiff of his cologne, all sandalwood and mystery. She shifts in her seat.  She is suddenly very aware of the air between them, how negative space can feel alive. His left elbow nearly brushes her arm because he is so freaking huge normal barstools can’t contain all of him.

He hasn’t looked up yet.  The silence between them is a palpable thing, the tension of ignoring him making her heart beat faster.  Rey looks down at her phone to keep herself from gawking or saying something stupid.

 

_Rey:  That guy is here again in my seat!!! :(_

_Rose:  Really?!  His friends too?_

_Finn:  Why Rosie you thought the redhead was hot? ;)_

_Rose:  NO not into strawberries unless I can bite them_

_Poe:  OMG plz stop_

_Finn:  Rey if that guy is bugging u I’ll scare him off_

_Rey:   LOL OK Let’s brawl over stools_

 

Rey looks up and to her right to find B.B. just as the chair-thief looks in her direction and those dark eyes grab her again, his facial expression inscrutable.  The room narrows to just them, everything else background static.  At this close distance his eyes look almost warm, and does she imagine a softness around the corners of his mouth?  Still no smile from Rey and if anything she presses her lips further together afraid of what her rebel mouth might do.  She sees a flicker of interest rise in his look and he parts his lips as if he’s going to speak...

B.B. breaks the moment by leaning in, “Your credit card, Mr. Ren.”  The man turns away from her, breaking the spell.  His phone rings, the tone some classic movie march with horns, and he answers it “Kylo. Yeah.  Yeah, Mitaka, I told you it had to be tonight.”

 _So, Kylo Ren, is it?  Hmmm, interesting name_ , Rey thinks.  She picks up her phone and googles him, the first hit a news story from a month ago.

 

_Kylo Ren, nouveau architect and 2017 Pritzker Prize winner, has been awarded a MacArthur Fellowship for his groundbreaking work in ecologically-sound designs in public housing.  Ren continues to astound critics by rejecting the traditional rules of architecture and defying the old masters, breaking new ground in balancing form, function and accessibility…_

 

She’s stunned.  Maybe there’s another Kylo Ren out there?  Rey gulps and scrolls down the page only to see his picture staring back at her.   _Of course_ he is photogenic as hell, with his soul-eating gaze reaching through the camera at her and a slight smirk curled at the corner of his full lips.

Real-life Kylo is still on his call, his voice getting heated as it lowers, rumbling in his chest and doing unexpected things to Rey’s insides.  “Tell Hux I don’t care about that internal deadline, it was arbitrary. I will finish it when it is RIGHT, not before. Mitaka, fine, I’ll come in and tell him myself.  Rework the texture design. Yes, tonight,” and hangs up.

As Kylo steps off his chair, unfolding his full bulk in all its glory, he bends to reach for his jacket draped on the stool at the exact moment Rey shifts weight to her right and his back collides with her arm, sending her phone flying to the floor.  “Excuse me” is barely off his lips as he reaches down while Rey practically dives to the floor in horror to reach her phone first.  As they both grasp it at the same moment, their hands touch and her phone screen lights up to reveal… his smirking face staring back at them.

 

They both stare at his photo on her screen for a moment, then in perfect synchrony look up to lock eyes.  As if on cue, Kylo’s lips curl into the _exact same smirk_ as the news photo.

 _Perrrrfect.  Smooth, Rey,_ she thinks. If Rey could engineer a sinkhole to swallow her whole she would do it right then and there.  His index finger brushes hers with an almost electric jolt as she pulls her phone to her chest and his arm drops to his side.

 

“Hello,” Kylo says.

Deep inhale, deep exhale.  “Hi,” from Rey.

“So I see you know my name, what’s yours?” Kylo says, generously holding onto his smirk instead of outright laughing at her.  His eyes twinkle and Rey’s cheeks are burning.

“Rey,” she says, face flushing halfway between utter mortification and her typical Kylo-induced scowl.

“Rey….” Kylo dips his head down towards her as if to nudge more out of her.

She thinks of lying, but decides against it.  “Rey Niman.”

Kylo looks down at her feet and then traces his gaze up her body, slowly taking in her flip flops, tan and toned legs peeking out from cut-off jean shorts, and white tank pulled over her slim hips covered by a cropped black sweater.  She can feel the burn of his gaze on her skin as if he’s touching her, but she doesn't mind his appraisal.

“You’re a student?” Kylo says, unspoken implication at the nearby university.

Rey nods slowly, answers before he asks, “Civil Engineering.”

Kylo’s eyebrows arch up and Rey interprets it as a look of surprise, snapping her out of the moment.  Rey is used to people underestimating her because she’s small and a girl, and nothing enrages her more.  She sets her jaw back in aggressive mode.

“Are you studying under Skywalker?” Kylo asks, a sharpness to his tone.  The air has shifted between them and has become adversarial.

“Yes, he’s one of my professors this semester.  I’m an undergrad,” Rey grits out.

“Oh, I thought- I see,” Kylo says tensely, blinking.  Rey can tell by his reaction he thought she was a grad student, so probably assumed she was older.  She devilishly decides to play with that as payback.

“Did you take any classes under Skywalker when you got your degree?  Was he even teaching back then?” Rey says as she bats her lashes at him, a show of false innocence as she jabs at his age difference.

Kylo ignores the bait, distracted by something.  “No, I didn’t take civil engineering. I went straight for design and conceptual architecture.  My interests were always more, ah, theoretical, or poetic, if you will.”

Rey wants to roll her eyes so badly that she has to scowl to prevent herself.   _Oh, he’s one of those, is he?_  She knows the architecture type well.  Prissy, aloof, artistic, they think of themselves as royalty while the civil engineers do all the real work.  

“Oh, _conceptual work_ ,” her acidic tone acting as quotation marks around his phrase.  “So leaving the actual _building_ to the grunt engineers.  Good thing we practical types study safety and implementation, otherwise all those pretty little designs would fall down to pieces.”  Rey’s words slice sharper than she intends.

Kylo flinches but maintains his composure, his gaze shifting to resignation.  His voice lowers to a near rumble as he presses out, “What a relief then that our two fields cooperate.  With balance comes strength.” He holds her gaze for a moment before he picks up his jacket and quickly walks out the door, flustered.

Rey can’t place why she is so angry at him.  Is it his superior attitude, or is she feeling insecure?  No, he had definitely acted surprised when she said she was an engineering student.  Or is she just pissed that his firm ass (not that she noticed) has stolen her seat two weeks in a row?   Whatever it is that prompted her acidic tone, it just isn’t like her. Call it the Kylo Ren effect.

When Rey relays the whole sad tale to Rose later after the gang finally arrives, she gets a few clucks of sympathy and a hug.  Rey wonders if she scared Kylo off for good, but instead of relief she feels a sense of loss.

It isn’t until they are well into their second round that Rey notices Kylo Ren’s journal laying on the bar.  She ponders for a moment, then picks it up and puts it carefully in her bag.

  



	4. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, we are heading to Explictland! 
> 
> Kylo and Rey meet for coffee. 
> 
> During one of his replies, while Kylo pauses to consider his words carefully, he gazes up at the ceiling and works his jaw. Rey notices his arm has snaked around the back of her chair and his body has angled toward her. She has the sudden instinct to lean in and kiss just below that patch of hair on his chin, wanting to feel the texture under her lips, but holds herself back. She imagines Kylo as a professor at her school, lecturing and mentoring her like this, and realizes that was a huge mistake as her panties grow wet, causing her to cross her legs to contain herself.

By Tuesday, Rey’s annoyance at Kylo has shifted into regret.  She replays their last encounter in her mind as she notices things she had missed in the moment.  The kind look as he reached down for her phone. The gentle humor in his voice as he asked for her name.  And was there a flicker of hurt across his face before he left, or was she imagining it? She shouldn't have cut into Kylo like that at Starkiller.

Curious, Rey googles Kylo and finds out more about him and his work.  She learns that he has a vision for a new order in architecture, a new way to create stability and structure to benefit society.  He believes in renewable materials, energy efficiency, streamlined design, and accessibility for everyone. Democracy in design. Kylo truly is a prodigy in architecture and Rey can’t help but feel impressed by his unique talent.

Rey clicks the tab on her phone to switch to image search.  She scrolls through professional portraits and candid shots, his dark eyes reaching out to her from her screen.  Rey feels her agitation rise under his stare, remembers the feeling of his heated gaze on her skin. She saves a particularly searing photo of him, one that makes the heat pool up in her lap.

 

As she clicks through photos of his brooding face, she runs across an older photo of him with short hair, clean shaven, evidently taken at her university.  The contrast to the Kylo Ren she has seen is jarring. His gentle smile, the crinkle around his eyes, he looks young and happy. Rey is surprised to read in a comment that he’s Professor Skywalker’s nephew and transferred out before graduation.  Some vague mention of a falling out in the family.

Rey frowns as she puzzles over this new information.   _Had he looked surprised she was an engineer, or was it surprise she studied under Skywalker?_ Her heart sinks when she realizes she could have misread the situation.  And then she was cruel. _Oh._

Rey pulls out Kylo’s journal and tentatively opens it.  She’s aware she is invading Kylo’s inner world, but it is too tempting for her to resist.  The first thing she notes is his script is beautiful- clearly he’s an artist with a love of writing.  Kylo Ren and his contact information are written in ink inside the front cover, his script looping and slanting almost like calligraphy.  Rey traces her fingers over his name, a little thrill at the thought of his hand creating those words where her fingertips now touch.

She flips carefully through the pages that seem to be written in a code only Kylo can understand.  The designs are intricate, graceful even, and unique. Unexpected. She sees he has slashed over some designs in red, obliterating the work, as if he’s battling with himself.  This glimpse into his inner world suddenly makes her feel intrusive, so Rey closes the journal.

Then Rey does something crazy.  She emails Kylo Ren. She can’t risk never seeing him again, and she has his journal, after all.

Not knowing what to say, how to craft an email both diplomatic and flirty, Rey takes the path she always does in delicate situations: she barges right in before she can think twice about it.  

 

_To:  Kylo Ren “kylorendesign@gmail.com"_

_From:  Rey Niman  “ScavengerGirl@MIT.edu"_

_Subject:  Coffee_

_Hi-_

_I’m not sure you remember me.  Actually, I’m quite certain you remember me._

_I’m sorry I was an ass last week.  But to be fair, you were an ass, too._

_I’ve read about your work and I’m intrigued.  I picked up your journal from the bar. Want to meet for coffee?_

_-Rey_

 

Rey tries not to check her phone every five minutes, fails.  Finally his reply:

 

_To:  Rey Niman  “ScavengerGirl@MIT.edu"_

_From:  Kylo Ren “kylorendesign@gmail.com"_

_Subject:  Yes_

_Hello Rey-_

_You made an indelible impression._

_Kyber Cafe at 10 am tomorrow?_

_~KR_

 

Rey exhales, walks to her closet to consider what to wear.   _Only thirteen hours and twenty-seven minutes to go,_ she thinks.  

 

\-----------------------------

 

_Shit, shit, I’m late!_

Rey is hurrying across campus, half-jogging to Kyber Cafe, having cut out of her lecture early.  She checks her Waze app on her phone and picks up the pace, only a few blocks left now.

She arrives fifteen minutes late, breathless, heart racing as she pulls the cafe door open.  Rey scans the room, nervous that Kylo’s left already, when she sees him working on a laptop in the back corner, his back to the wall.

 _Breathe.  Just breathe._ Her heart pumping fast, Rey draws up straighter with a deep inhale and walks across the room to him, his eyes flickering up to her as she’s halfway there.

 

She can tell by the way his eyes stalk her as she approaches that her short skirt and Doc Martens boots were a good choice.  Not easy to run in, but worth it.

“I’m sorry I’m late, but...” Rey opens with as she begins to pull out a chair across from him.

“Are you really?” Kylo replies, neutral tone.

Rey freezes and stares at him, legitimately confused, “Come again?”

“Are you _actually_ sorry.  People say all kinds of meaningless things.  You strike me as a direct person. So are you actually sorry?” Kylo says this in a calm, curious voice.  He seems genuine.

Rey considers this odd statement and thinks it must be a test.  She chooses her words precisely. “No, I’m not sorry. I had to cut out of class early to meet you.  But I am sorry if you doubted I would come.” She lifts her chin resolutely.

Kylo accepts this as the waitress approaches him with a black espresso, and jots down Rey’s order of cafe au lait as she sits down.  

Rey reaches into her bag and hands Kylo his journal.  “Thank you,” Kylo says, putting it down between them, his piercing eyes lifting to meet hers.  “Did you look through it?”

They’ve chosen honesty, and Rey sees no point in lying.  “Yes, I did.”

Kylo is not upset.  He waits for her to offer more, and when she doesn’t he prompts her, “and what did you think?”

Rey responds earnestly, “I think clearly you are talented.  Unique. I’m not sure I understood much, but enough to know that I haven’t seen anything like it before.”  Rey shifts in her seat but keeps his eyes. She is on sturdier ground with him, the ground of ideas.

“So nothing Skywalker has shown you so far, I presume.  He never approved of my designs, always the stalwart _traditionalist._ ” Kylo’s voice drips in sarcasm at the last word, hinting at a fraught history.

“Your Uncle believes in giving his students a strong foundation in the fundamentals.  I appreciate that,” Rey says as she sees him flinch at mention of “uncle.” _Easy, Rey,_ she tells herself, but, it is out there now that she knows they’re related, so no walking it back.  The freedom to be honest with him is exhilarating.

Kylo pauses, eyes boring into Rey.  The moment is almost uncomfortable in his intensity.  Rey meets his gaze, and raises it. She can take anything he has to give.

Kylo exhales then and says darkly, but not unkindly, “My Uncle Luke sees the world in black and white and has no room for new ideas.  If that’s your world view, you’ll be well-served.”

Rey considers.  She feels herself tipping on the edge, her curiosity of learning something new balanced with her loyalty to old ideas.  Then she picks a side. “It isn’t my view, no. It is a big world and I want to see everything,” Rey says as she can’t help but grin deliciously at him.

Kylo’s eyes glimmer as he leans in to her, conspiratorially.  “So ask me something, anything.”

Rey leans in to him on her forearms, grinning, “Let’s start with the Pritzker…”

 

Rey spends the next hour peppering Kylo with questions.  He refers to his journal often, sometimes pulling up images of projects on his laptop to point out some esoteric detail.  She doesn’t hold back with him, challenging Kylo often to explain, defend, describe.

At some point Rey slides across the table to sit next to him so they can look at the screen together.  She asks smart questions that she can tell Kylo loves answering.

During one of his replies, while Kylo pauses to consider his words carefully, he gazes up at the ceiling and works his jaw.  Rey notices his arm has snaked around the back of her chair and his large body has angled toward her.

She feels the heat of his body drawing her in like a gravity field.  She has the sudden instinct to lean in and kiss just below that patch of hair on his chin, wanting to feel the rough texture under her lips, but holds herself back.  She imagines Kylo as a professor at her school, lecturing and mentoring her like this, and realizes that was a _huge_ mistake as her panties grow wet, causing her to cross her legs to contain herself.

Rey feels that same magnetic pull of the white space between them and her heart starts drumming in her ears.  Preparing to speak, Kylo looks down at her and Rey sees his eyes grow soft just as his lips part… _and he is so close_ … _and he’s moving in closer_ … _and he’s looking down at her mouth_ … when they are both snapped out of their reverie by Hux’s voice before them, petulant as ever, “Ren, I have been trying to reach you for an hour!”

 

Rey draws back to consider the man before her.  His red hair is perfectly gelled into submission, his face drawn into a tight pinch with a supercilious expression that provokes instant disgust in Rey.

Kylo is reserved, “Hux, I’m in the middle of something. I’ll be back in the office soon.”

“Snoke specifically told us he needs to see the beta designs before close today.  He made that quite clear.” Hux’s eyes dart to Rey and his lips sneer, “I’m sure whatever it is you are doing, it can wait.”

Kylo’s response is icy cold and resigned, “Fine, we’re wrapping up.”  After Hux fails to move, Kylo’s tone becomes clipped, “Good. Bye. Hux.”

After Hux leaves, Rey starts to gather up her things, “What a charmer!”

Kylo grunts in agreement, but makes no move to leave as he watches her.  “Anything else you wanted to know?”

Rey stops as she leans down to her bag, weighing her next words, then dives in with abandon.  She turns to him and asks, “What happened between you and your Uncle?”

Kylo stiffens.  He draws his arm off her chair to place it in his lap and looks away for a moment.  As he returns to her, his expression guarded and Rey says, “You did say anything.” Challenging him with her eyes, demanding the same honesty and precision of him that he does of her.

Kylo meets her gaze for an uncomfortably long pause, his jaw working again.  She can almost read the conflict in him as he finally comes to a decision. “I did.  And I will tell you, later. But we don’t have time today.” Kylo leaves it at that.

Rey brightens at the thought of a "later," and rises from her chair.  “Next time, then.”

Rey could thank him, apologize for using so much of his time, or throw in some other meaningless words to soften her departure.  But Rey is direct and Kylo likes that about her. So she gives him a final smile as she turns to walk away, knowing he is watching her every step as she leaves.

\-----------------------

Despite herself, Rey can’t shake Kylo Ren from her thoughts.  His piercing eyes. That silky, shaggy hair. His broad shoulders and arms bulging at the seams of his sweater. How he wrapped his arm behind her at the cafe, indulging her curiosity.

Kylo’s intoxicating presence invades her thoughts when she leasts expects it, and Rey is getting lost in daydreams of him.  She’s having trouble focusing in class. This just won’t do.

It’s Thursday and Rey’s thoughts of Kylo won’t stop. She needs to get him out of her system somehow.  

 

So Rey decides to take a bath.

As she gets undressed Rey pulls up Kylo’s picture and sets her phone on the tub edge. She steps in and starts the water running but leaves the drain open.

She eases herself into the water then shimmies down until her ass is over the drain and slowly lifts her long, lean legs to extend up the wall and straddle the faucet. Rey lays back on her elbows and presses the back of her thighs against the wall so that the rushing water hits her the juncture of her thighs at the precise angle she wants.

Rey turns to look at Kylo’s photo and imagines it is _him holding her ankles up to his shoulders as he towers above her._ The water becomes _his fingers reaching low, teasing her, making warm circles on her sensitive bud._  Her body is already aching after thinking of him all day and the water is a sweet relief.

Rey slowly tips her hips back and forth to change the pressure and angle, gently rocking and working herself up. _Now it is Kylo rocking her, sliding a hand down her inner thigh as he reaches down to unbuckle his pants._ She knows he would make her work for it, edging her into a pleading mess.

Rey sighs and then reaches her own hand down to her slit, making circles as the bath water rushes over her clit. Her free hand begins thumbing, then pinching a nipple to get that little taste of pain to push her further. The pressure is building inside her and she uses her left heel up the wall to turn the water hotter, jerking a little as the delicious burn shocks the nerves of her tight bundle.

She can just see _Kylo’s eyes pinning her down as he enters her._ She takes her two fingers and slowly presses them inside, _and it is Kylo pressing his cock into her._ He’s so huge, she knows his cock is huge too, so she adds a third finger and moans, almost there.

Working herself up with both hands and the bath water licking her clit as she dreams of his hands, his mouth, his cock all over and in her, Rey turns to stare at Kylo’s face on her phone as she feels herself on the edge.  His dark eyes pushing her further and further.

As her wave of pleasure starts to crest and her walls squeeze in tighter on her hand, she comes staring at him, pulsing and shuddering, heavy breaths and his name both a prayer and a promise on her lips.

  



	5. Slow Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you aren't into explicit, turn back now, padawans! What's the opposite of slow burn? Because this is that. ;)
> 
> Time for a slow dance... and what you've been waiting for.
> 
> They share a breath then Rey moves in closer and places her hands tentatively on his chest, peeking up at him from under her lashes. They start to sway side to side again, Kylo mirroring her hips, barely moving. She can feel his heart beating fast beneath her hands, knows that her is racing his. Rey leans in again and a small smile curls her lips as Kylo’s full lips part and she feels warm breath on her cheek.
> 
> Rey takes her hands off of him and starts to turn slowly around until her back is to Kylo and she looks over her shoulder at him. She keeps swaying with him, matching him, leaning back to feel his heat behind her. Pushing her ass back to meet his his thighs, he sharply inhales at the contact, his arms ghosting up on their own to barely trace her shoulders for balance. 
> 
> **The song and lyrics are from "Stay Low" by Ryn Weaver, stream on Spotify to enhance your reading.* :)

It is Friday and Rey practically runs to the bar after cutting out early from her lab hours.  Tight skinny jeans and red printed halter top isn’t her normal lab gear, but it was just past 3 pm and Rey is not leaving anything to chance this time.  Her tanned shoulders gleam.

Rey didn’t email or text Kylo.  She has no confirmation he is coming tonight after their last meeting.  But she knows in her bones he will.

As Rey walks in to Starkiller she is the first customer in the bar.  A smile of victory on her lips she waves to B.B. and waltzes in and finds her seat empty.  All she has to do is wait now. Rey is very good at waiting.

She gets a small thrill realizing which parts of her body are sitting on the same seat as those parts of _him._

Rey is so early she pulls out a textbook to study.  The first round is Poe’s today, so she starts a tab and B.B. slides her first I.P.A. down the bar.  Rey toasts herself for reclaiming her throne. By 4 pm, Rey is finishing her second beer and knows she’s going to be well ahead of her friends by the time they arrive.  She’d better slow down and pace herself.

Rey is so engrossed in her book that she doesn’t notice Kylo walk up quietly behind her.  She suddenly senses a heat and looks over her shoulder to see him studying her from above. 

“You must take a great interest in failure,” Kylo says warmly, as he takes the seat next to her.  She hasn’t seen this relaxed look on his face before, but it suits him. A part of her she didn’t realize was clenched slowly relaxes now that he’s here.

Rey bites down a smile as she rolls her eyes with an “are you kidding me?” look before holding up the cover of her book, literally titled: _Failure Case Studies in Civil Engineering._

Kylo orders vodka straight up on the rocks with a lime, and waves her off as she tries to add it to her tab.  They spend a few minutes talking architecture. Rey is not intimidated by him, and she thinks Kylo likes that.  Rey can tell he enjoys the sparring, the meeting of minds, the duel. So does she.

When Kylo asks why she’s so engrossed in the book, Rey replies, “I like to learn from the mistakes of the mostly arrogant men that came before.” It comes out with more bite than she intends as she reaches for her fourth beer.

Kylo, suddenly intense again, leans into her as if he is sharing a secret, “You don’t have to, you know.  Follow anything that came before you to be successful. The mostly arrogant men are the ones that made the rules they teach you to follow.  You can make your own way without them.” He looks at her earnestly, eyes tracking back and forth between hers to gauge her reaction.

Rey studies him as if seeing him for the first time.  He knows nothing about her, but somehow he must because his words resonate in her deeply.  But still she challenges him, “That is easy to say once you’ve already learned from them, once you have your own career.  You know your place in all this, I don’t.”

Kylo considers her seriously, his own face left unguarded.  “There are many ways to learn. I could teach you what you need to know.”  

Rey parts her lips in genuine surprise, and Kylo goes on, trying to temper the boldness of his words, “No one holds the monopoly on the truth, on vision.  Skywalker, the university, the masters- they just want to control you and have you play their game. No one should bow down to the past. Trust yourself.”

Rey swallows.  How does he do that, speak to that questing part of herself that seeks meaning?  Or was he really just sharing something about himself?

 Rey has no response, which makes Rose’s timing perfect as she happily bounces between the pair with a beaming smile and a “Hi, Rey!"  Introductions are made, then the girls excuse themselves to the bathroom to stand in line.

Rose waits five whole Mississippis before she whips around to Rey, whispering: “Oh my goddddd, he is verrrry hot!”

Rey says, “Hmmm.”

“He is into you, I can tell!” said Rose.

“You think?”

“YESSSS,” whispered from Rose, as they wait in line for the bathroom, “Have you done anything to let him know you are into him?”

“Like what?” from Rey.

“Touch him, flirt, anything?” Rose lifts up her eyebrows suggestively.

“I did kind of insult him, and I called him an ass,” Rey says contemplatively, “and he may think I’m a stalker after he saw I googled him on my phone.”

Rose considers her friend with a disappointed shake of her head.  “Rey, step up your game,” is all she says before the girls fall quiet.

Kylo himself is walking up the narrow hall to get to the men’s room.  His head slightly lowers and he bites his lower lip, as if he’s apologizing for how much space he takes up in the narrow passageway, and he turns sideways to slide his considerable bulk past the girls.    

Spurred on by Rose and her fourth beer, Rey sees an opportunity and she grabs it.

As Kylo passes by her in the cramped hallway, Rey leans forward and barely arches her back so that her chest, ever so slightly, grazes his body.  The effect is immediate and electric. Kylo’s eyes snap up to her face and he pauses for a moment so they are pressed together, face to face, until he exhales and finds the momentum to move past her.

But in that moment Rey feels everything she needs to know.  And she knows he isn’t going home alone tonight.

By the time the girls came back, after a pep talk from Rose in the bathroom, Poe is buying the round.  Kylo sits near them and Rey’s friends pull him into the group conversation since he’s alone. Rey is so proud of her welcoming, goofy friends she could cry, and Kylo is loosening up after a few drinks.  Who couldn’t around Rose, Finn and Poe?

Finn and Poe are fake fighting and Rose is laughing hysterically when Rey looks over to see Kylo staring at her again.  A gentle smile on his lips that fades into something heated. Rey feels her stomach flip and the pressure inside her builds.  She needs to do something to break this dam between them.

The D.J. is starting soon, but for now the dance floor is empty.  Suddenly the jukebox kicks up and a new song starts as Rey grasps her sixth beer from B.B., who makes it clear she’s getting water next.

 

_Let the night come_

_Dim the lights home_

_Whisky lemon_

_Let the time go_

_Way slow_

 

“Ooh, I love this song!” Rey exclaims as she recognizes the first notes.  “I love Ryn Weaver!”

 

_Let the records play low_

_Like the sun goes way low_

_Lay me down_

_Now lay low, oh_

_Stay low_

 

Rey grabs her bottleneck in the crook of her index finger and slowly struts onto the dance floor alone.  Her friends watch her go with smiles and laughs, but Kylo isn’t smiling as his gaze burns, tracking her as he leans over his drink at the bar.

When she’s dead center on the empty floor, Rey turns back to shoot Kylo a searing glance and begins to move.  She gently sways to the slow, steady beat and throws her hair over a shoulder as she sings to herself into her bottleneck before taking a swig.  Her movement drifts lower as her hips start making small figure eights in time with the music.

The beat drops and she kicks a single hip out, then slowly starts turning around in a small circle, feeling the languid rhythm as her hips and ass sway to the beat.  She looks over her shoulder coyly at Kylo, who hasn’t taken his eyes off her but makes no move to join. She crooks a finger in a “come here” gesture. She knows people are staring and she doesn’t care.

As Rey finishes her turn, some frat guy suddenly steps up to block her view of Kylo.  “Hey baby, you like to dance? I’ll dance with you,” he tries to take Rey’s free hand and she gently shakes her head no and takes a step back, but he persists and places a hand on her waist to drag her into him as she crinkles up her nose in a frown.  He yanks her to him and her beer falls to the ground as Rey curses.

A heavy hand suddenly drops onto the guy’s shoulder and he turns to look up at a boiling Kylo.  Without a word and with murder in his eyes, Kylo stares him down and the guy takes the hint and scurries off.  

It’s just them now alone on the dance floor.

 

_Slow day but I pass the time_

_Coffee and a half a pack_

_Said I’m thinking about you and I_

_Took a while but you hittin’ me back_

 

They share a breath then Rey moves in closer and places her hands tentatively on his chest, feeling the solid muscles as they tense.  Rey peeks up at him from under her lashes and blinks, inviting him on with her eyes.

They start to sway side to side together, Kylo mirroring her hips as they find their rhythm.  She can feel his heart beating fast beneath her hands, knows that her own heart is racing his.  Rey leans in closer as she curls up the corner of her mouth and Kylo’s full lips part with rush of his warm breath on her cheek.

Rey takes her hands off of him and turns her back to him slowly, looking over her shoulder.  She keeps swaying with him, their bodies in sync, and she leans back to feel his heat behind her.  Rey pushes her ass back to meet his thighs and he sharply inhales at the contact, his arms ghosting up on their own to barely trace her shoulders for balance.  

 

_And then I thank you_

_Tell me if your day was rough_

_And then you let me make it right_

_King size, passenger side_

_Let’s ride_

 

Rey reaches her left hand low and Kylo’s breath hitches again as Rey grabs his hip where it meets his thigh to press him into her.  She loops her left finger around his belt loop to hold him to her as Kylo’s arms drop to her hips to squeeze her in tighter.

Rey leans back against his chest and reaches her right hand up and back to wrap around his neck as she arches her back into him.  Kylo’s head curls down towards her as they sway in time, the electric energy passing between them searing them both.

 

_Stay low_

_Stay low_

 

Kylo’s breath is tickling her neck.  She shivers. Rey can’t help herself when she asks at the end of the song, “Do you have a king-sized bed?”  He presses in even closer to whisper in her ear, “Let’s ride.”

 

——————

 

He grabs her hand suddenly and marches her off the dance floor, parting through the crowd like a shark through water as the song ends and the D.J. starts his set.  Rey winks at Rose as her friend’s jaw drops, and Rose playfully slaps Rey’s ass as Kylo leads her past her friends to the back hallway.

Kylo is dragging her like he is on a mission as he beelines down the long hallway to the back door.  Rey feels her anticipation and excitement rise, but she doesn’t want to leave with him yet. Rey sees an open door and using a hand on the door jam skitters to a stop, pulling him to halt.

He turns back to her, his eyebrows raised, his face a question.  “I can’t leave yet, I can’t leave my friends,” Rey says.

“They'll understand, come with me.”  His hand is drawing her to him gently as she grasps it tighter.

Rey wants him but doesn’t want to leave the bar.  She looks to her left inside the door frame. A back room, empty.  She smiles wickedly as she tugs him into the dark with her as the deep bass of the D.J. thrums through the walls.

He crosses the threshold and closes the door and locks it behind him.  The only source of light is the emergency exit sign, the red light creating an unearthly crimson glow in the room.  He turns back to her, red glow reflecting off his hungry eyes.

Rey parts her lips as she opens her arms to him and it takes Kylo two steps to crash into her.

His entire body presses into her and Rey can’t help the sound coming from her throat as she moans into his mouth.  Kylo’s lips nearly devours hers as his arms wrap around her back. He leans down and she bends backwards to meet his kiss, their movements almost frantic.

They stop for breath, panting, and she doesn’t care where they are, she has to feel his skin and heat for herself.  Rey starts to unbutton his black dress shirt as he slides his hands under her top to cup her breasts, pulling her bandeau bra down to free them, nipples already hard in his palm.

Rey is struggling as her fingers shake, Kylo is stealing kisses then dipping down to her neck, and _how is she supposed to unbutton his shirt while he’s kissing her like that, this is ridiculous?_  Rey growls when she can’t get the bottom two buttons undone and then she just rips them open and presses into his chest.

Kylo stops for a second and looks down at his ruined shirt, then up at her with a look of wonder that turns immediately smug.  He leans down and cups his palms under her ass as he lifts her off the ground and places her on a table in the corner of the room.

Kylo lowers to a knee and slides her top out of the way as he sucks a nipple to a point.  Rey leans back and weaves her fingers into his long hair and pulls him closer with a whine.  His hair feels exactly as soft as she imagined it would and she smiles at the thought as she weaves her fingers deeper.  She gives him a gentle tug and he grunts.

As he looks up, her blinding smile arrests him.  There it is. This time she is glowing just for him, and he basks in her light, greedy for it.

Rey spurs him to move again when she takes her right leg, free of its flip flop, and winds it between Kylo’s thighs to rub at his crotch with the top of her foot.

She can feel him through his pants, long and hard already. He pushes against her for friction as he gets back to work, switching breasts as his hands move down between her thighs and she arches her back.  Her worked-over nipple tingles in the cold air, already missing his warmth.

Rey rubs harder with her foot and Kylo is pressing against the pressure as he rubs her seam, his long hands struggling to snake under her jeans.  It is all too much and Rey is already so wet that she can barely stand it. She tightens fingers in his hair and pulls him up to face her, diving for his mouth, suckling his lower lip between hers as both their sets of hands reach for his belt buckle in a race.

Kylo pulls his mouth back with a pop as he says, “I want to taste you Rey,” with a low grumble.  Rey sighs and blinks, but says, “No, I want you, now.”

Kylo pulls back and his hand raises to trace the shape of her jaw.  “Are you sure? We don’t have to here...”

“Yes,” she says, direct.  Rey knows what she wants.

“Rey, you’ve been drinking…”

“I know exactly what I’m doing.  Take these down now,” tugging on his pants.  Kylo doesn’t have the strength to deny her or argue.  

Rey, hops down off the table to slide her own jeans down.  Damn skinny jeans have her shimmying and shaking to pull them down and Kylo watches, amused and hypnotised.  Rey says, “shut up,” and Kylo shuts up as she pushes her pants down below her knees as he does the same. Good enough.  If they weren’t so incredibly lost in lust they’d be laughing at how they’ve tangled themselves.

They reach for the other, and now they are stroking, squeezing, petting.  Rey’s soft thatch of curls delights Kylo, and Rey slides her hands around Kylo’s length as her mouth falls open with an “ohh.” _Damn._

Kylo pushes Rey up against the table and starts pressing circles into her clit as he kisses her neck.  She is already so wet for him. Rey squeezes and strokes him, pulling him closer to her center, trying to line him up.  It becomes abundantly clear to the engineer that this position won’t work.

She is too small, he’s too tall.  So Rey kisses him and turns around to bend over the table, her left hand reaching back to grab where his hip meets his thigh and draw him closer.  She spreads her legs as he steps between her thighs. He plants hands on either side of her chest as she lifts high on her toes to reach up for him.

“Shit, Rey, let me get a condom.”  Fumbling, thankful he had the presence of mind because hers is long gone, she waits.  Impatient now, breathing fast.

She suddenly feels him press into her outer edge.  She exhales and a sound curls out of her as he starts to slide in part way, stretching her wide.  He reaches a hand around to find her clit again, wedging his palm between her stomach and the table, as he slowly pulls out and enters her again.  Rey melts and then presses her palms into the table to stretch her chest up so his chest is burning into her arching back. He presses in a little further with another slow thrust and the wet sounds are indecent enough to make her wetter.

He continues this half-way thrusting, pushing in and back again.  Trying to loosen her up, get her ready for him. It is nice, it is considerate, and she wants none of it.

“More!” she says, more of an order than a whine, and bucks back against him to make his hips snap into her.  That does it.

With an “ah, fuck,” he pushes in strongly to his base and Rey gasps.  Now he’s thrusting harder and she’s moaning and moving with him, getting the friction she needs as he rubs her clit harder.  

She’s panting more from the thrill then the exertion but she turns around under him enough to lick at the only patch of skin she can find and reach, the edge of his collarbone.  He makes a guttural sound, then suddenly stops and pulls out.

Rey nearly cries out at the loss before he reaches hands under her hips to gently slide her back to standing and turn her around.

Facing him again, he’s a mess.  Panting, hair disheveled, shirt open, dark eyes full of desire.  Kylo looks ravaged. Rey loves it.

He scoops her up and gently places her on the table, sliding some books out of their way onto the floor as he guides her to lay down, his arm protecting her head as she goes down.  He lifts her legs straight up and drapes them to rest on his left shoulder across his body as he pulls her hips back to him.

Rey’s eyes grow wide as her fantasy of Kylo is coming true.  He reaches a hand down to the inside of her thigh as the other rubs her clit, staring down at her with eyes cloudy and dark.  He enters her again and she moans as he begins the slow presses in, in, and deeper, piercing her with his gaze.

Kylo is hitting her so deep that Rey starts to gasp.  She reaches up and pushes her shirt out of the way so Kylo can see her squeeze her nipples.  He thrusts harder. Rey wants to close her eyes from the pleasure curling up in her, the intensity of him and this feeling, but when she tries to Kylo says in low voice “Rey,” and her eyes pull back to his.  

Kylo is pumping harder now, his pace starting to falter.  He turns his head to place a wet kiss on the top of her foot and says, “you feel like heaven,” and then bends down over her as she starts to fold in half, her ankles on his shoulder coming closer to her chest.  

He is caressing her clit with one hand as the other comes to the table by her head for support. A drop of sweat rolls down his cheek and Rey wishes she could lick it.  She crosses her right ankle over her left, clenching even further down on him and he sounds like he’s choking.

Kylo’s fingers are pressing into her clit and she feels her walls closing in on him and suddenly Rey can’t take it anymore.  She finally cries out, “Kylo, I’m coming, oh God, oh!” and she seizes up inside, her walls crashing down on him as she arches her back and finally breaks away from his eyes as she closes hers in rapture.  Kylo thrusts harder, three times more then joins her with her name on his lips, his eyes never leaving her face as he leans over her, panting.

When they are done trembling, Kylo helps her slide her legs off his shoulder as she turns to her side and curls into a ball on the table, his warm body leaning to cloak over her as his arms and torso shield her from the cold.

The sounds of the bar come back into their ears and they hear the steady pulse of the D.J.’s beat through the walls as they lay in silence.  Rey feels completely enveloped by him and his scent, but is surprised to find she feels safe and not trapped.

Kylo stands up slowly, drawing up his pants and trashing the condom as Rey sits up slowly with a smile and slides off the table.  

She draws up the skinny jeans and puts herself back together.  They catch each other’s eyes and she’s scared for a minute it will be awkward.  But he slowly dips down to kiss each of her shoulders gently, and she smiles at him in relief.

“You are the only girl I know who prefers a table to a king bed,” he says warmly.

Rey laughs and tugs his hand, interlacing fingers as they walk back to her spot at the bar, knowing her friends saved her seat.

 


	6. Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Explicitland Express is full steam ahead! Lust is awakened, bonds are created, and a "please." Enjoy and please comment to let me know your thoughts!  
> \---------------
> 
> Kylo’s brown eyes are magnets and Rey is being pulled in deeper and deeper. Rey sees gold flecks reflecting light in his depths and a look of hunger mixed with wonder that he reserves just for her. Rey recognizes something in his eyes, a feeling of warmth or safety. This thought both tempts and scares her.
> 
>  
> 
> I might prefer desire to self control  
> I might prefer crying to being composed  
> I might prefer chaos to even flow  
> It's too soon for sense though
> 
> *Lyrics and music from "Baby, I'm a Queen" by Sofi Tukker. It's basically Rey's hook up anthem.

Rey looks at her image in the mirror as she fixes her hair in the Starkiller bathroom.   _I look absolutely fucked out,_ she thinks as she crinkles up her nose and smiles in delight.

Her wide hazel eyes are dreamy and relaxed.  The blush to her cheeks is not from makeup, but is definitely man-made.  Her lips are pink and slightly swollen. She can see a love bite peeking out from the top of her halter top.  She tries to put herself back together, but her body tells the whole story.

There is no precedent for this night.  

Rey has had hook-ups before, sure.  She grabs her pleasure when she wants it, rarely finding someone worth the time.  But it is always a fleeting thing, more biology than anything else, and she’s always the one to leave first.   _Don’t give up control, don’t let yourself need, and you won’t get left behind._ She learned that lesson as a child and she won’t forget it.  

But she has never had a hook-up _in a bar._  And the guy has never just . . . stuck around.

This is something completely new.

She walks out of the bathroom and stops to watch Kylo Ren.  He is leaning on the wall across from the bathroom, both hands folded behind his low back and a single leg bent so his foot is pressed up against the wall.  His head is turned to look at the dance floor, a bored expression on his face.

Rey stares at his profile taking in his unusual lines and curves.  Her eyes trace over his mane of shaggy dark waves, his roman nose and full lips, the way his shirt collar falls open to reveal some of the collarbone she kissed, his bottom two shirt buttons missing.  Kylo looks debauched. Rey starts getting turned on again.

She thought she could fuck Kylo Ren out of her system.  But it is gradually dawning on her that one taste just whet her appetite, and that she is hungry now.  

This is something completely new.

Only Kylo’s eyes move as they flick to her face.  She sees the bored look come alive, his eyes sparkling and lips pressed together as he turns to her.  He doesn’t smile but holds her gaze gently. She can see his own hunger in his eyes.

She walks up to him and puts her palms on his chest as she reaches up for a kiss, pushing him against the wall, slower now and taking her time.  As she pulls away he reaches a hand behind her low back as they walk back to her friends.

Kylo hasn’t stopped touching Rey since the back room.  Finn and Poe haven’t said anything about that yet, either oblivious or being politically correct, but Rey wonders if Rose’s eyebrows will ever return to their normal position.  Rose knows what she did, Rey knows she knows, and they secretly squee at this shared knowledge through winks and smiles.

It is now past midnight and on a regular Friday Rey would just be getting started, but tonight she has been at the bar for more than nine hours and she’s done.

Rey rises on tiptoes to reach Kylo’s ear, and he draws down to her, so natural now to be close to him, touching him.  “I want to go, I’m going to go now.” That is all she says because she wants him to be the one to ask. She pulls back and meets his eyes as he studies her avidly.  

Kylo leans down to her ear, “Let me drive you.  I’ll take you.” Rey exhales and nods at him, smiling as she thinks to herself, _you already did take me._

As Rey announces she’s leaving and Kylo’s driving her home, her friends make a gallant effort to hold it together.  Finn nods pressing his lips together as his eyes grow wider, Poe smirks, but he is always smirking so who knows what he’s thinking, and Rose, oh boy.  Rose has become almost a living emoji trying to restrain herself in her inebriated state, as her eyebrows rise even higher and her cute mouth puckers up to hold in the “you’re banging!!!” that she is obviously trying not to scream out loud.

Rey grabs her stuff and Kylo laces his fingers into her hand, leading her away quickly before she can hear the peals of laughter in their wake.

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

Of course Kylo Ren drives a black Tesla Model X.  Rey could have bet money on that one.

Rey is hungry, the stomach kind of hungry, so Kylo takes her to a 24-hour diner with the best steak and eggs in town.  They order the same combo plate, steak and scrambled, with a side of hashbrowns and biscuit, and Rey is halfway through her plate before he’s barely begun.

“Do they feed you at college?” He looks a combination of surprised and impressed.

“What, I have a high metabolism!” Rey tries to look indignant, but laughs.

They aren’t very good at small talk so there are plenty of pauses, but they are surprisingly comfortable.  They don’t need the meaningless words.

Rey sits across from him in the small booth.  His hand snakes out on the table as they eat and he is stroking her fingers when he can catch them on the table.  Rey wonders if he realizes he’s doing this, if it is just his instinct to touch her. It feels good, but she’s almost uncomfortable at the intimacy of it.  Electricity sparks through her at each touch.

As Kylo insists on picking up the check, she gives him the address to her old brownstone apartment near campus.  He lives close by, and Rey perks up when he mentions his building.

“The Supremacy!  We learned about that renovation in class.  They gutted the old factory but kept the facade and the outer walls to convert to condos, reusing some original materials.  It was an extremely difficult job.” _Also extremely expensive,_ she thinks to herself.

“Want to see it?” Kylo asks, cocking his head to her.

“Of course I do,” Rey answers enthusiastically.

“Want to see it now?,” Kylo asks her, leaning in to her as his voice drops low.

Oh, Rey knows how to play this game.  

She leans in close to him, so that he can almost feel her breath on his face, and slowly whispers words meant only for him, “Only if you are offering to fuck me senseless in your king-sized bed.”  His eyes grow wide and Rey’s smile dazzles.

 

\-------------------------------------

 

Kylo lives in the penthouse of the renovated factory building.  Converted into energy efficient condos, The Supremacy is one of the most sought-after addresses in the city.

Rey delights in the lobby with its sleek, cutting-edge design.  She takes in the impossibly high ceilings, the steel girders and exposed pipes that look almost like modern art, and her hands graze over the reclaimed brick and stone as she studies it.  She turns to Kylo with a question, but loses her thought as she catches him studying her. He takes her hand and leads her to the elevator, drawing her closer to him just as the doors close.

Before she can say a word he presses her back against the wall and kisses her deep, steadying her in his arms.  Her hands travel to his chest and his to her hips. When Kylo dips down to kiss her neck she can see her reflection in the mirrored wall across from them, her face blissed-out and mouth open.  She closes her eyes and they only part when the doors open again at his front door.

Kylo’s place is sparsely furnished, curated with intent.  Clean lines, utilitarian, colors of cream, black and grey blending together.  Rey thinks it perfectly suits him, no space for clutter or waste.

She walks across the room to the dining area, set in a corner where two huge panes of floor to ceiling glass meet.  The view is stunning, a panoramic of the city lights spread out before her and the Charles River below. She places her bag and jacket on the concrete topped table and walks up closer to the window.

Kylo comes up from behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist as he dips his chin down to her shoulder.  He says nothing as they fit themselves together.

He plants a kiss on her cheek and asks, “want anything to drink?”

“Beer?” Rey says.  She’s probably had enough, but needs a pretense for what she’s going to do, to take the edge off.

Kylo moves away from her as she stays at the window.  She hears some music turn on in the background as Kylo turns on his Sonos system.  The sound of music carries throughout the condo from room to room. Rey tries to not focus on how wealthy he must be, how she doesn’t come close to his league.

Kylo hands her the beer and they stand side by side.  Silence again. But this silence is alive, a breathing thing.

“How long have you lived here?” she asks.

“About two years, around when I joined First Order,” he replies.

“Do you like your job?” Rey asks, detecting something in his tone.  Remembering what an asshole Hux was.

“I love my job.  I hate my company and every single person there,” he says darkly.  Rey turns in time to see him flinch and look down. Kylo looks defeated, his shoulders sagging forward.  Rey’s surprised at her own pang of hurt as she sees his eyes darken. She barely knows him, but something in her cries out touch him, to soothe him.   

“Let’s not talk about it,” Rey softly says.  Meaningless words. Rey’s tired of talking. She takes a gulp then puts her beer down.

Rey turns her back to Kylo and scoops her hair up to expose her neck.  “Will you unhook me?” her voice is satin as she peeks over her shoulder, her eye daring him on.

Kylo puts down his drink and reaches for the hooks.  He opens her top like unwrapping a gift, and when her neck is exposed to him he presses his soft lips into her nape.  Not truly a kiss, more of a caress as he holds his lips in place and breathes her in. His warm breath makes Rey tremble.

Kylo loops his hands around her waist and squeezes, his lips never leaving Rey’s neck.  They’re standing near the window and Rey reaches her palms forward into the glass. She presses her ass back into him and feels him rise to meet her as she arches her back to gain more leverage.  She grinds against him slowly and his hands move up to her breasts, claiming and squeezing.

Rey knows he could take her right now against this window and she wouldn’t fight it, but she wants his bed.  With colossal effort, she dips her head forward to break contact with his mouth and turns to face him, reaching up on tip toes for a hungry kiss.  She is taking, not asking.

His hands move under her top and he pulls back to slip it over her head in one movement.  She stands before him in her bandeau bra and he pulls back to stare at her, his gaze raking over her in the light for the first time.  Kylo’s eyes are reverent but full of intent and she feels hot under his stare. He reaches his hands back to her waist and traces them up her sides to cup her breasts and rub his palms in circles as he leans down nuzzle her neck.

Rey tilts her head back and mutters, “bed.”  Kylo nods, dazed eyes trying to refocus, and takes her by the hand and leads her to his bedroom as she grabs her bottle but leaves her shirt.

As she follows him she hears a low guitar riff and woman’s voice sing:

 

_Baby I'm a queen, so why do you call me baby?_

_It's been about a week, it's too soon for nicknames_

_You tire me out but fill me up_

_And I don't mind it very much_

_You do not wait to wake me up_

_Too soon for mourning_

 

Before at Starkiller, she was a few steps away from her friends and escape.  But it is just the two of them now and she feels both excitement and nerves. The thought of having him alone makes her heart beat faster and heat pool between her legs.

Rey downs the last of the beer while walking and puts the empty bottle down on an end table as Kylo opens the double doors to his bedroom, just as the drums kick in to the music:

 

_I might prefer desire to self control_

_I might prefer crying to being composed_

_I might prefer chaos to even flow_

_It's too soon for sense though_

 

His bedroom is dark, the far wall comprised of the same floor to ceiling windows.  Everything is a shade of grey, his king-sized bed draped in charcoal sheets with a black duvet.  The only color visible a triptych of modern art with blazes of red hung over the headboard.

Kylo guides her to the bed, using a remote to turn on and dim the lights as he turns to her.  They just stare at each other, the only physical contact her hand in his. Each daring the other to be the first to break the spell.

Kylo’s brown eyes are magnets and Rey is being pulled in deeper and deeper.  Rey sees gold flecks reflecting light in his depths, and a look of hunger mixed with wonder that he reserves just for her.  Rey recognizes something in his eyes, a feeling of warmth or safety. This thought both tempts and scares her.

Kylo’s thumb draws a circle on the back of Rey’s hand.  His touch is enough to move her, and she drops his hand to thread her fingers in the hair above his temples.  She gently bends him down to her and presses his forehead to hers and holds him there. This feels both intimate and tender, almost vulnerable- which Rey never allows herself to be- and strangely seems like the boldest thing Rey’s done to him.

This is something completely new.

Kylo lets Rey hold him there.  She licks her lips, breath coming faster, fingers tangling in deeper.  She can only see his full lips from this angle, his own breath growing haggard.  Rey slowly angles her head to the side and reaches up to kiss him.

Mouths connected now, Rey becomes electrified.  She pulls tighter into his hair, and Kylo grunts as his hands lower to cup and squeeze handfuls of her ass.  Rey bites Kylo’s lip and he pulls her hips sharply up and in to press against his hard length.

As she pulls back for breath and looks up at him, she sees the desire burning through him and into her.  Rey pulls his head back, claiming his neck to suck and bite, mouthing his collarbone, chest, any skin she can reach as he lets out a low growl and grinds into her.

Rey releases him suddenly and uses her palms on his chest to push him down onto the bed.  Kylo curls up on his elbows to look at her in astonishment, his mouth parted in wonder. She looks down at him fiercely, stalking him now like a huntress felling her prey, as she climbs up to straddle his waist.

Kylo lays down flat and tries to lift his hands up her sides, but Rey slaps him away.  Kylo stills as Rey looks victorious to have this huge man at her mercy. She reaches behind her and unhooks her bra dropping it aside.  She revels in his stare, drinking up her body. She cards her fingers through her hair shaking it out and leaning back, letting him take all of her in.  

Kylo starts to say, “baby-” but Rey cuts him off.  “I’m not a baby, I’m a queen,” as she grins.

Rey squeezes her thighs around his waist and then places her hands on his chest, undoing buttons until her palms touch skin.  She begins grinding against him, rubbing against his long, hard length pressing up at her in his pants. Kylo reaches up to her again, tentatively, and she lets him massage her breasts as she rocks herself up and down his cock, driving him crazy as his thumbs circle her hard nipples.

One of his palms moves up to cradle her cheek.  She keeps grinding against him and nuzzles her cheek into his huge palm, then turns her head to take his thumb into her mouth.  She closes her eyes as she sucks him into her and something in Kylo snaps.

Before she knows it she is on her back and he is above her.  His ruined shirt is off in a flash and then he’s unbuttoning her jeans, fingers fighting to pull them off as she lifts her hips up to help him.  Jeans discarded now, Rey is bared entirely before him and he takes a moment to savor her. She feels beautiful under his gaze.

Kylo starts to move down her body, kissing his way down her chest and stomach, mouthing down, down to her warm center, when she tries to interrupt.

“No, no come up here,” her voice is breathless.

“I want to taste you, Rey,” Kylo rasps out, insistent.

She pauses.  Rey doesn’t like to give up this much power.  She sets up rules for herself with men, no going down on her and no spending the night.  Rey likes to stay in command.

But something in Kylo’s voice makes her burn.   _I want him so badly, maybe just a little taste?_  He is waiting for her and she looks at him and nods, lacing her fingers in his hair as his hands loop under and around her legs so his palms press the inside of her thighs open for him.  

Kylo dips down and places his mouth on her warm slit.  Again, more caress than kiss. Warm breath on her clit as Rey moans.  She is already so wet for him, her nerves screaming for him to touch her.  He starts swirling his tongue around her clit, feeling out how she likes to be worshipped.  Rey moves her hips side to side then up to meet his mouth as he starts to suckle on her sensitive bud.   _Oh My God_ , she thinks as unintelligible sounds come out of her throat, melting in his grasp.

Kylo is sucking, teeth gently biting, swirling his tongue and edging her up higher and higher.  Rey’s thighs press open wider and she starts to pant and moan. She feels his large thumb start to press in at her opening and then he’s pushed it gently inside her slowly and he is still sucking and swirling.  Kylo’s teasing her, not quite giving her all of what she wants, but just a taste.

Rey needs more as her pressure grows and he keeps her on the edge.  Rey growls, “More, more!” and she feels him hum beneath her, pleased, but he’s not moving his hand.  So Rey starts to buck gently against him, fucking herself on his thumb, as he lifts her higher and higher with his mouth.  She would be angry at him for teasing her if Rey wasn’t already so lost in lust that he could do anything to her and she’d beg for more.   

Rey is worked up and almost there when she pulls back suddenly.  Kylo grins up at her like the devil, mouth wet with her slick, when her fierce gaze catches him.  “Come. Up. Here,” is barely off her lips as he pulls off his pants and he’s crawling up her.

Kylo halts and says, “condom,” but Rey catches him.  “I’m clean and on the pill. I want to feel you.” He nods, “me too,” and then he’s on her.    

Kylo dives down to her neck kissing and licking, spreading their combined scents like he’s marking her.  Rey curls a leg around his hip and pulls him in closer. He lifts up to look at her and she reaches down to squeeze and stroke his length.  His cock is so big she needs two hands to hold him completely, and she pulls him in closer to her center.

Kylo’s eyes blink closed for a second as he exhales sharply, gaze coming back to focus on her.  Through her own veil of desire she thinks Kylo is so beautiful, a dark angel with his soft hair falling around his face.  His eyes are so open to her, she feels like she can see into his soul.

Rey holds his eyes as she rubs the tip of his cock against her opening and dips him into her wetness, just the head, then out again to rub him against her clit.  Back and forth, back and forth, teasing him like he teased her, until they both can’t take it and she aligns him to her opening.

Kylo presses in faster than before.  One deep slow push until he is seated completely in her and she moans as her hands grasp his tight ass to hold him there.  Kylo’s eyes haven’t left hers as he starts to thrust, somehow barely pulling out but pressing in deep. He reaches down and lifts her knees up to her chest, pushing in deeper so that she can only keen.  She breaks eye contact as her eyes flutter closed and she lays her head back, surrendering to him completely.

Kylo smiles and leans down to her, planting kisses on her mouth, between her breasts, her cheeks through the thrusts, and whispering to her, “God, you are so beautiful.  So gorgeous. You are a fucking queen.” Rey thrills at his low voice in her ear, making her somehow even wetter.

Kylo starts moving faster, pulling out and slamming in deeper, creating more friction.  Rey cannot form a thought as her pleasure builds up again. The bed starts to shake with his thrusts and Rey is whimpering in time with his rhythm, arching her back and pressing her chest up to him.  

“I am going to fuck you senseless, like I promised,” Kylo growls and Rey cries out at his voice.  The wet slapping sounds of his hips slamming into hers is driving her higher. He lifts her up again, almost to her climax, and she snakes a hand down to circle her clit as her other hand grabs his shoulder for leverage.  Kylo picks up his pace using a hand behind her thigh to press her leg up higher.

Then all of a sudden he stops and Rey wails as he pulls away from her to roll over and draw her on top of him again.  He sits them up and slides to the edge of the bed so his feet push into the ground for leverage. Wraps her arms around his shoulders as she seats herself fully on his lap, winding her legs around his waist.

They look into each other’s eyes and something has shifted.  There is a connection there that they can’t name, as if their bodies have made a promise to each other that Kylo and Rey are just discovering.  

Kylo cups her face in his palms and kisses her deeply as his hips buck up into her, hitting that one deepest place that she craves.  Rey wraps one hand around his neck and the other drops back to her clit. She grinds into him, chasing her pleasure now, and he is so deep within her there is no space left between them.  He has her, he has all of her, in his hands.

Kylo is grinding and bucking into her, slowing down as he reaches for his own peak.  Kylo’s low voice sounds tortured as he groans out, “Rey, Oh God, Rey…” and it is her name in his mouth that pushes her over the edge.  

As he holds her face inches from his she cries out into his mouth, “Fuck, Kylo, oh my God, Kylo!” as she whines and explodes in his arms, her inner walls clasping at him as she trembles in his lap, tears in her eyes.  He comes right after, riding out her wave with her, finally releasing his hands to wrap around her back in a tight embrace. He supports her as she falls forward, head on his shoulder, a panting, spent heap.

Kylo guides them gently to lay down, legs extending and intertwining, pulling up the covers around them as his arms hold her tight.  Rey is so warm and sated that she cannot move from his chest. Rey knows she should leave, she never stays the night, but she is so warm and happy that she wants this moment to last a little longer.  She allows herself to drift off to sleep, still in his arms, if only for awhile.

This is something completely new.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

Around 5 am, Rey wakes to see the city lights laid out before her.  It is still mostly dark, just a hint of color on the night sky. She blinks as her eyes focus and she remembers where she is.

Kylo has drawn onto his back, a hand still draped over her.  Rey slips quietly out of bed and picks up his shirt, pulls it on for warmth as it falls to her knees.  She pads into the bathroom as quietly as she can.

She flushes the toilet and washes her hands, using a washcloth on her thighs still sticky from last night.  As she rinses it out, she looks into the mirror as she stills.

_Who the fuck does she think she is?_

Kylo’s bathroom is covered in carrera marble and designer fixtures.  His home a palace fit for a prince. He is beautiful, he is a genius, he has a Pritzker, and a MacArthur, and a fucking Tesla.

And she is Rey Niman from nowhere.  No means, no family, a nobody. Attending college on a scholarship for orphans.  If he knows she grew up in foster and group homes, fighting every day, protecting herself because no one else would, what would he think?  

 _How can this ever work?  Even if this is just sex between us . . ._ Rey stops because she can’t lie, even to herself.

She’s already broken her rules, letting him break her open with his mouth, giving everything over to him in one night staying too long.  Rey has to regain control before it is too late.

 

Rey slips back into the bedroom.  Kylo is still asleep, his face relaxed and happy.  Rey’s heart squeezes in her chest.  She starts to search and gather up her clothes as quietly as she can.  She walks up to his side of the bed, leaning down to reach for her bra, when his hand captures her wrist.

“Rey, what are you doing?” he sleepily asks.  

Rey has tears in her eyes, “I should go, Kylo,” she whispers.

“No, no, Rey.  Stay. Stay with me.”  His eyes blink and open.

Rey thinks of all the reasons she should go.   _This will go nowhere.  He only wants you for that.  You are nothing to him. He will hurt you.  You will let him in, and he will leave you._

She is still listing all the ways he will destroy her when he sits up and his eyes plead with her, “Please.”  One word, not meaningless.  He doesn’t need to repeat it.

He draws her back into his warmth, taking his shirt off of her and dropping it to the floor.  Curling his large frame around her like scaffolding, folding her in tight.

They fall back asleep as the sun starts to rise.

  



	7. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fully living in Explicitland my friends!  
> Kylo's perspective this chapter and he has fallen hard for Rey (you can't blame him).  
> \---------------------
> 
> Kylo is dazed as her mouth and hands are all over him, in his hair, taking what she wants, ripping his damned shirt open like a goddess. He is so stunned at how badly she wants him, he can’t hide his smirk. All he can think is, I need to touch and taste her, taste every inch of her, make her scream for me.
> 
> He sees her blinding smile lighting up just for him, and the snaking feeling stops. She fills him with her light. She is fucking brilliant for him, brighter than the sun. He can bask in her for days.
> 
> Rey tells him to shut up, and Kylo shuts up. Rey wants him inside her now, and Kylo pushes in deeply. He tries to give her an out, tries to be a gentleman because she’s been drinking, tries to warm her up gently… and Rey says no, I want you now, more, and Kylo obeys because she is already his queen before he even knows it.

Kylo has been in the dark so long that he thinks it is all he’s made for.  He’s turned away from family, his mentor, everything that should have grounded him.  He made a pact with the devil and now he’s paying the price.

But he’s astounded to discover he has a new reality.  And for most of it, he realizes, he is dazed. Dazed by Rey, who walked in with the sun.  The most gorgeous girl he’s ever seen, her effect on him instant and devastating.

Kylo is dazed when Rey meets him at the Kyber Cafe.  Sliding up to him, challenging him, this brilliant girl who is so curious and clever and not afraid of him.  Her long, lean legs tucked into black boots and that short skirt distracting him so badly he has to look up at the ceiling to resist staring down at her.  He wraps his arm around her chair to keep himself from slipping a hand on her thigh. Just having her in his orbit leaves him slightly lightheaded, and he thinks cockily  _ maybe because all the blood goes to your prick the minute you see her.    _

He’s dazed again as he feels Rey’s body press against him in the hallway at Starkiller, her hard nipples brushing his chest as she looks up at him, her hazel eyes daring him to move.

He is dazed when he sees Rey boldly walk out on the dance floor alone, not giving a fuck what anyone thinks of her.  Her hot body swaying with the languid beat, turning around so he can see every inch of her, beckoning him to join her.  That snaking feeling inside coming alive to tell him she belonged with and to him.

When the guy dared touch her, he felt his blood pulse in his ears as he was out of his chair like lightning to get to her.  He would have killed for her if he had to. She claims his body so easily, her small hand pulling his hip into her ass like she owns him.  He does not dance, but he would dance all night with Rey if she asked him.

Kylo is dazed as he pulls her with him.  He needs her so damn badly he hasn’t even formulated a plan beyond  _ TAKE HER WITH ME NOW,  _ not sure if he would have made it home or just fucked her in the Tesla if she’d have him.  But Rey stops at the back room doorway and he is dazed as she leads him into that red glow, opening up her arms to him as he rushes to crush her to his chest.

He has fucked women, of course.  They’ve never been anything more to him than a momentary thought, an itch that gets scratched and then he moves on as they bore him.  He has never been set on fire like this, taking her in the back room of the bar. Rey has ignited him.

He is dazed as her mouth and hands are all over him, in his hair, taking what she wants, ripping his damned shirt open like a goddess.  He is so stunned at how badly she wants him, he can’t hide his smirk. All he can think is,  _ I need to touch and taste her, taste every inch of her, make her scream for me.  _

He sees her blinding smile light up just for him.  She fills him with her light. She is fucking brilliant for him, brighter than the sun.  He can bask in her for days.

Rey tells him to shut up, and he shuts up.  Rey wants him inside her now, and Kylo pushes in deeply.  He tries to give her an out, tries to be a gentleman because she’s been drinking, tries to warm her up gently, but Rey says  _ no, I want you now, more,  _ and he obeys because she is already his queen before he even knows it.

Kylo is dazed to find that when he finishes his desire for her has only increased.  He has to touch her, be in her orbit, feel her warm him up. He feels a dark pride that she looks completely ravished by him.  

But he has his due.  When she closes her eyes and turns away from him, he pulls her back with her name,  _ Rey.  _  He decides he will pleasure her any which way she wants, anytime she wants, but Rey will look at him when she comes.  He wants to rip so much pleasure from her that just looking at him will get her wet. She will never forget what he does to her.  That is his silent promise to himself and to her.

Kylo is dazed when she comes home with him.  He feels intoxicated by her when he has hands on her, all to himself, a dream he didn’t know he had coming true.

As Rey pushes him down, slaps his hands away, he knows she is the only one in the world that holds this power over him.  He gives it to her willingly. Rey is his goddess, his queen, and he will worship her until only his name will be on her lips.

Kylo tastes her, teases her with his tongue and his thumb, testing her limits and seeing how desperate she can get for him.  Oh, his Rey gets angry when she doesn’t get what she wants _.   _ He will learn her, he will tease her, he will make her beg him for release and melt in his arms calling his name as he kisses her down gently.

She comes facing him in his bed, her hot breath on his lips, then melts in his arms sated and peaceful.  He wraps her up like a present in his arms, his treasure to keep safe, and curls them both into sleep.

When he hears her rustling early in the morning, Kylo is half asleep when he sees her picking up her clothes.  He is dazed that she is leaving him, too soon. Kylo reaches for her and her voice is so tiny. He says, “No, no, Rey.  Stay. Stay with me.” And then, “please.” The most honest thing he has ever said.

Her eyes are wet, he sees that.  She looks so small, so different from his shining queen last night.  She looks like a girl, a sad girl, too precious and he can’t have her break.  He needs her in his arms to feel her heat again. She sighs when she comes to him.

He gently slides his ruined shirt off her shoulders and drops it on the floor.  He draws the covers around them and feels her exhale, a shudder and a sigh, as her tension melts away under his hands.  Curling his large frame around her like scaffolding, folding her in tight. They fall back asleep in the morning light.

Kylo has a new reality.  And for most of it, he realizes, he is dazed.

Rey is his new reality.

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

Kylo wakes first, his arm draped over Rey’s back.  She lays sprawled in the center of the bed on her stomach, hair draped over her cheek.

The thought that she has claimed even his bed makes him smile.

Kylo surreptitiously slips out to the bathroom.  Brushing his teeth, he hunts around for a new toothbrush, leaves it out on the counter for her.  He splashes his face then dries his hands, fingers combing his hair. He can still smell her on his body and doesn’t want to wash away her scent yet.

Kylo returns to the bedroom and draws the shades with a remote to filter the morning light.  Then he slips back into bed next to Rey, his place still warm beside her.

Her back is exposed to him, the long curve and deep ridge of muscles along her spine.  Kylo studies her. He gently pushes the covers lower to reveal her tight ass, topped by two adorable dimples on either side that make his heart beat faster.

It is the dimples that he kisses first.

Kylo doesn’t want to wake her yet, so he barely touches his lips to her skin.  Just the lightest graze of warmth and pressure, so light she won’t notice. He repeats on her other side then starts kissing slowly around her pert ass and her low back.  He presses his mouth up along her spine to her shoulder, then uses a hand to gently push her hair to the side and press his lips behind her ear.

He hears her moan and he nuzzles in deeper.  She pushes her neck against him, not awake but responsive, and he barely opens his mouth and flicks out a tongue on the pulse point of her neck.  Kylo retraces his path down, slow steady kisses down, until he pulls the sheets off her legs.

Kylo moves between her legs and gently pushes her thighs open, pressing light kisses to her inner thighs as he works his way between her legs, nuzzling.

Rey is moaning now and starting to wake, but he doesn’t stop his work.  He gently slides his palms up and under her hip points, then gently lifts her ass up to angle her slit to his mouth.  He lays flat on his belly and works his mouth up to her slit then pulls her up and into him as he opens his wide mouth to cup her cunt entirely.

Kylo starts flicking with his tongue, then swirling and nibbling, and Rey makes obscene moaning sounds.  She starts to tense up her legs, tries to shift away from him but Kylo presses her down. “Shhh, relax Rey, let me give you this.  Relax.”

Rey softens under his touch, melting back down to the mattress.  She is getting wetter, from his mouth and her own slick, and Kylo savors her, sweet and salty.  He drinks her up like he is thirsty for her.

Kylo starts moving his mouth faster and then places his wide palm under her on her stomach to lift her up to him as he reaches two fingers to gently circle Rey’s opening and then press inside.  She gasps then moans when he curls his fingers to her front wall, reaching for that magical spot, tipping her hips and ass up to him so he can get a better angle with his mouth.

Rey nearly chokes on a groan, and starts talking so fast he can barely separate the words as he presses his fingers into her deeper, thrusting and curling, “OhmyGod, that’sit, rightthere, oh,yes,yes, yesmoreohGod, morerightthere, pleaseGodrightthere…”  Kylo pulls his mouth off of her and she cries out in loss.

Voice low and rumbling, he says, “I’m the one doing this to you, Rey, say my name.”

Rey responds immediately when his mouth returns, “Oh,Kylo, yes,yes, pleaserighthere, Kylo, ohpleaseKylo.”

Her needy cries flip a switch in him and he becomes almost desperate to please her.  Kylo presses his fingers in deeper and starts to nibble and flick his tongue faster on her clit.  When he sucks her tight bud into his mouth he can feel her pussy clenching down on his fingers as she cries out, throbbing, and Kylo almost breaks.  He can barely stand it, he needs to feel her tightness around him.

So Kylo brings her right up to the edge and then stills his fingers, leaving them inside her as his mouth pulls away with a wet snap.

Rey releases a gutteral, long whine.  Treating her needy sounds like a question, Kylo answers her by saying, “I’m going to make you come with my mouth, queen, then I’ll make you come on my cock saying my name.  I want to hear you say my name,” and puts his mouth back where it belongs and starts fucking her faster with his hand.

He presses his mouth around her and Rey is almost there now, her hands clenching the sheets as her toes curl into the bed to lift her ass up to him.  He lifts her up higher with his arm and her knees are drawn up to the mattress as she reaches her ass back to him, whining and moaning incoherently, and her thighs start to tremble.  He feels her walls closing in on his fingers tightly and then she cries out as she shatters to pieces, shaking in his arms.

Kylo swirls his tongue and licks her through her climax, not stopping until she flinches away from his mouth, too spent and sensitive for touch.  He gently guides her back down to the mattress, a soft rag doll, a puddle of a girl.

He kisses her back, her shoulders, her neck.  She hums at him, content. Then he slides down to press his arms on either side of her shoulders as he aligns himself at her dripping center.

“I promised you I would make you come on my cock, I will always keep my promises to you,” he says as he presses slowly inside.

She is tender and sensitive, and he is thoughtful but firm.  He presses in slowly but deep and to the hilt. She is still a pool of water beneath him, as he pulls out almost entirely and slowly presses back in to his base again.  

Rey starts to move with him on the third slow thrust, curving her ass up to him to give him better access as he pushes in her.  She slides her legs closer together as she arches her back, her ankles almost touching as his legs drape to the outside of hers.  She is so incredibly tight and her hot ass is right underneath him, that Kylo knows he won’t last long. He can see a smattering of freckles on her tanned skin in the morning light and he makes a mental map of them, seeing if he can find constellations in her.

He starts to push in and out faster and leans down on one forearm so his other hand can reach under her for a breast, laying his palm under the nipple to add some friction as he pushes in.  Now he’s circling and when he reaches up to pinch her, Rey makes a sharp cry and clinches down on his cock until Kylo almost sees stars.

He needs her to come again, he promised her, so he pulls out of her and moves off the bed.  Rey flips her hair to see him, panting, and he says, “Come here, get on your knees Rey,” and Rey pushes up to meet him.

As Kylo stands by the bed, he spreads Rey’s legs wider as she faces the windows now, and he enters her in one stroke with a snap.  His hand reaches around for her clit and starts circling, but she is still so sensitive she moves away from his hand. He lifts his hand off of her, dips his middle finger in his mouth, then very lightly, just testing it out, starts to circle the tight ring of her puckered ass, adding pressure.  

Rey moans and he knows she likes it.

Kylo starts fucking her in earnest, gliding in and out of her with wet sounds, circling her ass with his finger as she moans and begs, her entire body sensitized and every nerve rising higher and higher.

Rey braces herself with one arm, then lowers down on her forearms to curve her ass up at a sharper angle as she snakes a hand through her legs and under him to rub his balls as he plunges into her.

It is Kylo’s turn to moan out loud when she reaches back further behind to massage that sensitive skin underneath, where she can feel the deepest base of his cock with her knuckle.  Kylo growls and his pace quickens.

“I want you to come so hard you see stars,” he says.  Rey moans under him, her sounds starting to sound like sobs, “Yes,Kylo,yesplease,ohgodplease,Kylo.”

Rey presses and rubs Kylo and he is bucking into her, the sounds of him slapping into her filling the quiet room.  Rey pushes back up off of her forearms and comes back to all fours as she lifts her head to look straight ahead out the window.

With the angle of the sun and the shades drawn down, she can see his reflection as he fucks into her.  She is pushed over the edge and cries out, “Oh, Kylo, Kylo” and pushes her hips back into him as she trembles and squeezes her eyes shut in the pleasure ripping through her.

Kylo quickens his pace to fuck her through her climax and comes with a cry as he thrusts into her and stills, pulsing his heat into her as his body shakes with each burst.  They melt into each other on to the bed. Rey curls on her side and Kylo lays down behind her, curving around her as he kisses her cheeks, her neck, her breast, her shoulder, any skin he can reach without moving.  

“Good morning,” she says dreamily to him as he nuzzles into her neck.

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

They don’t move again until 9:30 am.  Rey has a headache, Kylo mentions dehydration as she rolls her eyes at him, but he gets up to warm up the nespresso and get her a bottled water and an ibuprofen.  

Rey leans up in bed to lazily watch him walk to the kitchen nude.  He is unashamed before her and he sees that flicker behind her eyes saying she likes what she sees.

“We will have to eat again someday,” Kylo says from the kitchen.

Rey huffs out a laugh, “Ah, cruel biology.  What have you got here?”

Kylo checks the fridge.  “Some leftover paella that is questionable, three eggs, some almond milk, one hard as a rock avocado and some blueberries,” then he adds, “And coffee and granola bars.”

“Do you only ever eat breakfast?” Rey is asks genuinely.

“I’m never really here for meals.  Breakfast is about it. I’m either at the office or out.”  Kylo tries to sound matter of fact, but knows it reflects a level of wealth that he can afford not to cook.

“I guess I’m the same. I don’t cook much, so whatever I can heat up fast or the school cafeteria mostly,” Rey says.  “Ramen is a lifesaver.”

“This will not bode well when we start to stay in and cook.  I foresee challenges,” Kylo is trying to make light, but he sees her stiffen at his words.  He tries not to notice, “So what will it be?”

“Hmm, I’m not picky as long as you have coffee.  But come back to bed first, I’m cold.”

Kylo obliges as she opens the covers for him and he snuggles in next to her.  They lay there for some time, just content to hold and be held. He is petting her hair, gently running his fingers through it while Rey is tracing fingernail circles on his back.  It feels right. She lifts her head to peer at him. He looks back at her with a smile. He brushes her nose with his and she lays back down.

“I’m going to have to go soon, I told Rose I’d go shopping with her today,” Rey says into his chest.

“Hmm.  If you must,” Kylo says, disappointed. “What time?”

“Pretty soon.  We have our department awards banquet in a couple of weeks, so cut-offs are not encouraged,” Rey yawns.

“Okay.  Want to shower here to save time?  I’ll make . . . something to eat.”

Rey pulls up to look at him, and he feels her studying him, making a decision.  “Um, sure. You have shampoo and stuff? For girls?” Wide hazel eyes watching him.

“I’m pretty sure shampoo works on girls and boys, Rey.”  She grunts at him, so he continues, “I don’t specifically keep products for women at my condo because I don’t have a lot of women at my condo.”  He makes a point to look her in the eyes as he says it.

The way he says it is so matter-of-fact that it takes him a moment to connect her relaxing further into his arms with what he just said.

She finally pries herself free of the bed after a few false starts as he pulls her back in for one more kiss, no-really-just-one-more kiss, seriously-this-is-the-last kiss, then a quick slap on her ass when she slips away from him.  He hears the shower turn on and he pulls on joggers and goes to the kitchen shirtless to contend with food.

When Rey finally emerges, hair wet and looking so damn pretty, he notices she has those wet eyes again, lips pressed together.  Precious girl again. Kylo pours her a cafe au lait from his nespresso and he has made a mostly-omelet with avocado and some canned tomatoes and it isn’t half bad, he thinks.

She’s wearing his torn shirt, knotted at the waist and sleeves rolled up.  It looks huge but somehow suits her the way she’s styled it. She walks across the room to pick up her halter top from where he discarded it last night _ \- was it only last night?-  _ and tucks it into her bag, not bothering to ask if she can keep his shirt.  He says nothing because of course she fucking can. 

They eat at the counter and he checks in from time to time with a hand on her low back or a finger brushing hers.  When she gathers up her things he pulls on a shirt and then grabs his phone and holds it out to her.

“Rey, I’m not great with this thing, will you put your number in here for me?” Kylo asks honestly, no hint of nerves or hesitation.

Rey looks up at him her eyes wide, blinking at him for a moment.  She hasn’t moved to take his phone and he feels a flicker of worry.  But then she smiles, takes his phone from him and creates a contact for herself then hands it back.

“What are you doing tonight?” Kylo asks.  

“Kylo, you need to give a girl a recovery period,” Rey says with a laugh and a smirk.

“Hey, I’m just thinking dinner.  Dessert is optional,” Kylo smiles.

“Um, let me see.  I’ve got some work to do for class so it depends on how much I can get done today,” and then, “aren’t you sick of me yet?”

“No.  And everyone needs to eat.  Just call me, I’m free.”

Rey insists on walking home herself, wants the exercise, refuses him driving her home three times before he accepts just walking her down to the lobby.  His hand wrapped around her waist in the elevator, their thighs pressed together because he needs to soak up the last moments of her that he can.

Kylo walks her out to the sidewalk, reaches for both her hands and laces their fingers.  He dips down to kiss her slowly, gently, taking his time.

He could fill her up with words,  _ That was incredible with you, I can’t believe we met each other, I already miss you,  _ but he tells her these things with his kiss.

“I’m going to call you later, okay?  You are going to answer right?” Kylo asks, peering down at her seriously.

Rey nods and smiles.  He bends down to her and presses his forehead to hers, closes his eyes for second.  “Okay, Rey.”

She pulls away, meeting his eyes then dipping in for a last quick kiss, and turns away from him to walk down the street in his shirt.

He watches her go with an exhale.  She doesn’t turn to look back over her shoulder.  Then Kylo makes his way back to his apartment, the morning light gone now, counting down the hours he should wait to call her.

  
  



	8. Sushi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner is happening... but Rey has a different plan for dessert. ;)
> 
> Kylo has managed to slip in under her skin, to embed himself near those parts she keeps safely guarded and buried deep inside. The soft places she needs to protect because no one else will.
> 
> This is getting too close to call, too dangerous. But, when was the last time you felt so weightless you could float? She knows the answer without thinking: never.
> 
> And to top it all off, Kylo did something so unbelievable. 
> 
> Something so genuinely caring and generous, so shockingly sweet, that it almost broke her.
> 
> He gave her a toothbrush.

Rey is walking on air.

 

It is a beautiful day and it feels good to move.  Rey knows she needs kinetic energy to function. She is always on the go, needs to keep one step ahead of her thoughts to stay grounded.  As Rey wills herself not to turn around and look back at Kylo, she smiles. She feels so airy she is nearly bouncing.

 

As she puts some space between them, each block allows more breath to return to her lungs, more non-Kylo thoughts to return to her mind.

 

Kylo Ren is going to be a problem.  She can tell already. _A huge problem._

 

She’s broken all her rules.  She let him melt her in his mouth- _but damn, his delicious mouth._   She stayed the night- _but he said please so sweetly._  She also didn’t shut him down when he mentioned a future together- _don’t you want to learn to cook with him, what could be more delicious than that?_  Rey clicks her tongue.   _Bad, bad girl Rey,_ she thinks.  

 

Kylo has managed to slip in under her skin, to embed himself near those parts she keeps safely guarded and buried deep inside.  The soft places she needs to protect because no one else will.

 

This is getting too close to call, too dangerous.   _But, when was the last time you felt so weightless you could float?_ She knows the answer without thinking: _never._

 

And to top it all off, Kylo did something so unbelievable.  

 

Something so genuinely caring and generous, so shockingly sweet, that it almost broke her.

 

He gave her a toothbrush.

 

It was just sitting there on the counter, new in the box.  She doesn’t know when he did it, but it wasn’t there before she tried to leave early in the morning.  Kylo thought about her and what she needed. Kylo cared enough (about her teeth, at least) to give her something.

 

Rey felt impossibly foolish to weep over a toothbrush.  But she did, with a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob, as the shower water turned from cold to hot.  

 

Rey was still sniffling as she hunted for her discarded clothes, going on an Easter egg hunt for lingerie, when she found his shirt.  Bottom two buttons missing, a souvenir of their first night. She put it on, tying the waist, liking the smell of him on her skin.

 

Oh, Kylo is going to be a huge problem.   _This is going to be bad._

 

He is so sweet at breakfast.  His large, built chest on display, with shoulders that could almost move mountains, or _are_ mountains.  He looks at her with those eyes and he is like a pet tiger, powerful and docile when you are the one holding the chain if you know where to scratch.

 

Rey had a chance.  A last chance to fight off the inevitable.  To preserve her last bit of indifference or independence before falling under his spell.  Her last chance to maintain control.

 

He handed her his phone with no guile.  No pretense. No meaningless words. Just, _please help me reach you._

 

That small voice in her head screamed _NO, RUN!  Fake number.  Escape. Don’t.  Save yourself._

 

But he gave her a toothbrush.  

 

Rey thinks, _maybe I don’t want to save myself this time._  

 

She enters her number and stares at Kylo in wonder as he asks her out on a date tonight.  After fucking her senseless three times to the point where she has to shift side to side while eating. He is unbelievable.  She sighs, _this is going to be baaaad._

 

Rey wants to walk home, but she also really does not want Kylo to see the broken-down brownstone where she lives in a transitional neighborhood.  She feels good to get herself home on her own. Maybe she can do this, be with him and still keep herself intact.

 

Rey refuses to allow herself to turn to look over her shoulder at him.  Wills herself to walk on as if he wasn’t staring after her.

 

The last walk home of a hopelessly condemned girl, and she wants to skip the whole way.

 

\----------------------------------

 

Rey finds shopping with Rose is infinitely more fun when you can scandalize her simultaneously.

 

“Oh... My... GOD... Rey!” Rose is definitely not dramatic, not one little bit.

 

“Rosie, come on now, I’m blushing,” Rey giggles as she sorts through the sales rack dresses.

 

“You SHOULD be blushing, you wanton girl!  I am surprised you can walk!” Rose is smiling and, to be honest, looks impressed.

 

“Well, you only live once.  And you are the one who told me I should show him I was into him.”

 

“I meant, like, flirting?  Not ravishing him in the backroom of the bar?  And not two times immediately thereafter?” Rose walks to another rack of dresses, “Is that a personal record or something?”

 

“Um, yes obviously,” Rey says absentmindedly as she holds up a deep blue, one-shoulder dress.  “Oh, I quite like this one.”

 

“So when are you going to see him again?  You are going to see him again, right?” Rose turns to face her friend, unspoken history in her look.  “Rey, you gave him your number right?”

 

“Umm, yes.  I did. I put it in his phone for him, I think his fingers are probably too big to work it properly.”

 

“Rey, sounds like his big fingers work a lot of things properly,” Rose grins at Rey.

 

“I’m not telling you anything else if you are teasing me about it,” Rey is indignant but amused.

 

“Okay, ok.  Fair enough.  So did you make plans?” Rose moves to another dress rack.

 

“He asked me to dinner.”

 

“Nice!  When?”

 

“Tonight,” Rey says holding up a little black dress.

 

Rose whips around to Rey, mouth agape.  “Tonight?! You just left his place like an hour ago!”

 

Rey looks down and crinkles her nose as she smiles, “I know. Crazy, right? I didn’t say I would go.”

 

Rose gathers herself up.  She looks at Rey seriously, her tone gentle, “He must really like you, Rey.”

 

“Yeah, I think he does,”  Rey’s smile deepens, but is subdued.  A little crinkle forms between her eyebrows and Rose sees it immediately.

 

Rose says softly, “Do you like him a lot, too?”  

 

Rey thinks, and looks up to catch Rose’s eyes, “yeah, I’m afraid that I might.”

 

“Just be careful, Rey,”  Rose says as the girls gather up their choices and move to the dressing room.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Rey spends the rest of Saturday on chores.  In between taking loads of clothes down to the basement laundry room, she tidies up, catches up on email, does some reading for class.

 

At 4:30 pm, she hears her phone buzz as she’s coming in the door with a full basket.

 

She picks it up and sees that she’s missed two calls from Kylo, one an hour ago and just now.  No messages.

 

Rey hasn’t decided what she should do.  Meet him for dinner? Make him wait? It is moving so fast, and her mind is saying something and her heart another.  As she stands there indecisive, her phone comes alive in her hands. Kylo calling again. She feels butterflies in her stomach as she picks up.

 

“Hi,” from Rey.

 

“Hi Rey,” he says in that velvet voice, “What are you doing?”

 

“Really, really exciting stuff.  Laundry. Email. Class notes,” she says drily.

 

“Did you find a dress?” He asks, his voice a low rumble in his throat. _Is he laying down?_

 

“Yes, two actually.  I’m going to think it over then return one probably,” Rey rolls her eyes at herself, “which is really vital information that I guess I needed you to know.”

 

“Let me know if you need another set of eyes to help you decide,” He says slowly.

 

“Hmm, I didn’t realize you were into fashion Kylo?” she teases.

 

“I’m not, I’m into you,” his voice like honey.   _Ohh,_ Rey feels the butterflies fly South.

 

“I will keep that in mind, thank you,” is all she can muster.  “What did you do today?”

 

“Oh, regular stuff.  Worked out, worked on some beta designs for the next install…” he tapers off, “are you hungry?”

 

 _This is such a loaded question,_ Rey thinks.

 

“Let me pick you up, let’s get dinner,” he talks through her pause.

 

“Um, I am, but I just have a lot of work and… things… I should be doing…” Rey wavers.

 

“I promise that I will feed you and that I will be a gentleman,” Kylo says, “We can even eat in public.”

 

Rey laughs at this, but then Kylo says, “But I don’t promise to keep my hands to myself.  Because I don’t think I can around you, and I don’t want to lie.”

 

Rey nearly purrs at him, “Oh, Kylo” he has disarmed her.  “Only dinner,” Rey tries to sound firm.

 

“Okay, give me your address and I’ll pick you up.”

 

“Why don’t you pick me up from the Barker Library at school?  I have to return a few books and its halfway between us.”

 

Pause.  “Okay, what time?”

 

“6:30, does that work?” She says.

 

“See you at 6:30, Rey.”  Then he’s gone.

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

Rey had enough time to shower and put on her newly-washed grey skinny jeans, with a white muscle tank and black denim biker jacket and Doc boots.  She slips in a pair of thin, gold hoop earrings in a hexagon shape, then ties her hair half up in messy bun to show them off

 

Rey turns in the mirror, then decides on eyeliner and a dab of cream blush on her cheeks with her signature tinted chapstick, which constitutes fancy make-up for her.  She grabs a couple of books under her arm and heads out the library to make it before it closes at 6 pm.

 

It’s one of those early spring days that is caught halfway between the seasons, the warmth besting the cold during the day, but then revenge of the chill at night.  She holds the strap of her crossbody bag across her chest as she makes the short walk to school.

 

Rey loves the libraries at her school.  So many choices and each building its own character.  The Barker Engineering library is situated near the Architecture and Planning building, so close enough that Rey visits during class breaks to read.  Her favorite spot is the quiet space under the building’s signature dome, natural light pouring in and warming the room. She heard that during World War II they had covered the dome and nicknamed it the “bat cave” because of the darkness, but Rey can’t imagine the room dark.  She likes to sit and stare up at the intricate scrollwork along the edges of the dome, the room suffused in light.

 

Rey returns the books then sits outside to wait for Kylo, reading her phone.  When it rings in her hands and she sees it’s him, instead of answering it she looks up to see his Tesla at the base of the steps.

 

Rey ambles up as he gets out to open the door for her.

 

“I could have figured it out, Kylo, I’m an engineer,” she says with grin.

 

“I know you could, Rey,” his voice patient as he leans in to press his lips on her cheekbone.  He holds them there for a moment until Rey lifts a hand to his chest and then very gently pushes him back.

 

She slides in the passenger side as he closes her up.  Kylo asks, “Italian or Sushi?” as they pull away from the curb.

 

“Hmmm, sushi sounds good,” Rey doesn’t eat it often because it is a budget breaker, so she can’t resist this chance.

 

“Perfect,” he says.

 

“I’m surprised you use that word, since you insist on accuracy.  You realize nothing is perfect, it is not natural.”

 

“You are perfect,” he looks at her and grins, playing it up for her.

 

Rey rolls her eyes and smiles, “Oh, God, stop.  I’m serious, nothing in life is perfect.”

 

Kylo takes the bait.  “But we all strive for it, right?  It is the appeal of possible perfection lying just around the corner.  Humans trying to achieve something of which we can conceive, the ideal state.”

 

“Perfectionism is the ruin of many perfectly great ideas,” Rey says.

 

“Who said that?” Kylo asks her as he changes lanes.

 

“I did, just now.”

 

Kylo bursts out laughing, a low rumble from his chest, then turns to see her face, wide hazel eyes calmly looking at him, bemused.

 

“Alright, Rey, I was thinking it was a quote from some philosopher...or maybe one of those ‘mostly arrogant men that came before,’” Kylo says, quoting her words from the bar back to her.

 

“So you actually listen to me and not just plot to get into my pants?” Rey says, goading him but delighted.

 

“It is because I actually listen to you that I want to get into your pants.” Kylo says as he turns into a parking lot.

 

Kylo pulls up to Sakura and the valet brightens when Kylo hands him the keys to the Tesla.

 

He laces his fingers into Rey’s and leads her in.

 

Rey has heard about Sakura, the new hot Asian fusion restaurant with a long waitlist.  The hostess recognizes Kylo and leads him straight in, and Rey feels underdressed as she pulls closer to Kylo to hide behind his bulk.  The atmosphere is modern and dark, with glowing fish tanks with fluorescent tropical fish lining the walls and in-floor lighting setting the mood.  Kylo pulls out Rey’s chair as they sit at an unfinished slate table.

 

Over sake and Japanese beer, Kylo asks Rey what she likes and studies the menu seriously as he marks their choices on a slip of paper.

 

“Rey Niman.  Civil Engineering student.  What is your vertical?”

 

Rey is relieved to tread back to familiar safe territory of their shared work, “water resources.”  

 

Kylo’s eyebrows lift up, interested, “Water?  I’m surprised, why water?”

 

“I grew up in New Mexico.  Water was a precious resource and the drought and population growth were constantly in the news.  It just seemed natural.”

 

“Where in New Mexico?” Kylo’s eyes follow her, his obvious interest in hearing more about her reflected in his dark pools.

 

“Albuquerque mostly, but later Los Cruces.”

 

“Your family is still there?”

 

Rey pauses and looks down.  “No, I have no one left there.  Just me.”

 

Rey waits out the pause, folding in on herself and shifting in her seat.  Kylo takes the hint and graciously changes topics. “I’m surprised that you chose MIT with water resources, would think Cal Berkeley be more your speed.”

 

Rey looks up, “Professor Skywalker offered me the best scholarship package.  Plus, I wanted to get aw-” Rey catches herself before finishing the word, corrects herself, “-a change.  I like it here, I like having four real seasons.”

 

She notices Kylo pull back at the mention of his uncle’s name.  She decides to pursue this now and presses him. “You said you would tell me about your family later.  Is it later?”

 

Kylo exhales and looks away from Rey for a moment.  His jaw works in that way she associates with him thinking, parsing out his words clearly.  

 

“I come from a family that is well-known in this town.  My mother was a state Senator and a philanthropist, my father a local entrepreneur.  My Uncle and Grandfather were both professors at the university, with a legacy of accomplishment.”  Kylo stiffens as he continues, his face is guarded now as he almost recites this information from memory.

 

“I grew up knowing what was expected of me.  It was drilled in to me at a young age that I should maintain the family’s good name, to live up to their ideals, to never question them.  But that isn’t who I am.” Kylo’s gaze returns to Rey and his eyes are heated, a slow burn searing into her.

 

“When I began to question and challenge Uncle Luke, he didn’t like it.  He refused to engage with me or entertain my radical ideas,” Kylo looks down, his shoulders shrugging.  “I got sick of trying to hide who I was from them. They didn’t understand me.”

 

Rey waits for him to continue, but he doesn’t.  Kylo looks uncomfortable, a resignation or perhaps sadness in his expression.  She thinks, _there is something he isn’t telling me,_ a tension just under the surface that she should explore, but they are interrupted by the waitress.

 

He orders single pieces and sashimi, gourmet rolls and specials like tempura-fried watermelon as Rey watches him bemusedly.  Rey smiles as Kylo carefully explain their order to the waitress, notes his patient voice and kindness to the woman, how he uses his hands to explain… and Rey’s heart squeezes in her chest.

 

Why seeing Kylo ordering sushi like he is on a mission is the sweetest, hottest thing, she cannot explain.

 

By the time he thanks the waitress and turns back to her with a smile, he catches the look on her face and he slides his hand out across the table to touch hers.  Rey reflexively turns her palm up to him so he can trace small circles with his fingers in her hand. His smile drops and his intense, burning gaze is back as Rey feels his heat pool low in her lap.  Rey is caught in his eyes as she squeezes her thighs together, his fingers lightly looping in her palm. She has an almost chemical reaction to this man now. Rey leans in closer and Kylo angles his head to reach for her lips, diving into a slow deep kiss as he never stops tracing circles in her palm.

 

As the plates come out one after another, they take turns discovering the new flavors together.  The fried watermelon is amazing, Rey is delighted and surprised to discover, and she giggles as it bursts in her mouth.  Every plate bringing a new flavor, a new discovery, and Rey is beaming at Kylo at the deliciousness of the feast. When Kylo finds an amazing seared scallop, he scoops up another in his chopsticks and cradles his other palm underneath as he reaches over the table to feed it to Rey.

 

She leans in and opens her mouth, keeping eyes on him as he eyes her mouth, and Rey wraps her tongue around the scallop as she slowly closes her lips over his chopsticks, savoring the flavor with a “Mmmmmm.”  Rey delights both in the food and in Kylo’s reaction to her. Rey gets a delicious, naughty idea and slips her right foot from her boot. She pushes her chair in a little closer to him and the table.

 

“You’ve been such a gentleman, Kylo…” his eyes flick up to her suddenly at her tone, anticipation on his face, “but I never promised to be a lady.”

 

She slides her foot up his ankle, wrapping her toes around his calf, brushing up and down.  Kylo clears his throat. He pushes his chair in closer to the table as he lifts his gaze back to hers, his dark brown eyes liquid in the low light.

 

Rey suppresses a devilish smile as best she can, and starts to slide her leg up higher slowly until she passes his knee.  The waitress approaches the table to ask about drinks and Kylo cuts her off quickly with “one more round,” without breaking eye contact with Rey.  

 

Rey licks her lips and leans in further, like she’s about to whisper a secret to Kylo, and she has his full attention.

 

Rey’s foot slides up high on his inner thigh as she slowly points her toes and reaches up to press her toes between his legs.  “Vixen,” Kylo whispers roughly as his mouth parts and he exhales.

 

“You were trying to be so good, meeting in public.”  His eyes glitter at her in the reflected light and she grins at him mischievously.  She feels the power over this handsome man and is intoxicated by it, almost dark Rey now, goddess of the night and Kylo is her not-so-innocent victim.

 

Rey laces her fingers together, elbows on the table, as she works her foot in his crotch, his hardness rising up to meet her.  Her foot is pressing, teasing, rubbing and creating a heated friction as his breath starts to quicken and eyes become glossy. Rey revels in her power as she feels her own heat rise and presses her thighs tighter together.

 

The waitress reappears just as Kylo reaches down to grab the arch of her foot, stilling her.  “Thank you,” he says to the waitress in a rough voice, but really saying the words to Rey, and then “Check, please.”

 

Kylo massages the arch of her foot in his hand, then slides his other up to her calf to squeeze her before lowering her leg down.  

 

“Let’s go,” he says to Rey, firmly.

 

Kylo’s hand is behind Rey’s lower back as he guides her out of the restaurant and when the doors close behind them, he reaches down to give her ass a firm squeeze as she squeaks and pulls away.

 

Rey shoots him a glance, “You promised not tonight.  And you told me you’d never break your promises to me.”

 

Kylo is trapped and he knows it.  “True, but I specifically said I can’t promise to keep my hands off of you.”

 

As they get in the car and he pulls out onto the road, he says, “Come home with me, Rey.”

 

“No, I can’t.  I said not tonight and if I come home with you then we’re going to fuck.  And I can’t tonight,” Rey is resolute, she has to set this boundary. But she has stoked a fire in her own belly back in the restaurant as well as in his.

 

Kylo almost growls.  “I promise not tonight, I will wait until morning so you can rest.”

 

Rey laughs, “Maybe, but I may jump you.  So no, you have to wait.”

 

Kylo groans, “This is inhumane.  This is torture. I object.”

 

Rey grins, “Won’t it be so much better, darling, if you have to wait a little?”

 

Kylo exhales, “Vixen, I am not going to forget this.”

 

Rey giggles, then looks over at him and sees him squeezing his lips together, knuckles gripped on the steering wheel, and he is so adorable that she takes pity on him, her lust taking the lead.  

 

“Pull over there,” Rey says abruptly as she points to the corner of the campus.  

 

Kylo looks at her quizzically, but obeys as he pulls into a satellite parking lot, half full.  “Park,” Rey says as he finds a spot and idles the car.

 

“Push your seat all the way back,” Rey orders calmly.  

 

“It is,” he says sheepishly, “I’m tall.”

 

Rey rolls her eyes at him, this ridiculous tree of a man, and whispers to him, “Then recline your seat all the way, big boy.”

 

Kylo unbuckles and leans back slowly as he draws his left arm up and folds it behind his head, half-lidded eyes already drunk with desire as he watches Rey unbuckle and slide off her jacket before moving to hover over him.

 

She reaches up and places her hands on either side of his face, her fingertips tucking into the hair above his ears as her thumbs stroke the slope of his cheekbones.  Rey’s eyes track back and forth between his as she lightly exhales then dips down to his mouth. He opens for her and their tongues are a tangle, slow languid circles and lips treasuring and tasting.  She gently nips and sucks on his lower lip and he moans. His right hand slides down her back to cup her ass, kneading her and drawing her closer.

 

Rey breaks off the kiss and takes to his throat now, nibbling just under his chin on that soft patch of skin below his stubble, feeling the texture between her lips.  Kissing down his collarbone and onto his chest as she opens his shirt button by button to clear a path for her mouth.

 

She glances up at Kylo and he is looking down at her, an almost pained expression on his face as he stares at her open mouthed.   _What is he thinking?_

 

“Do you like this?,” Rey asks, slightly breathless.

 

Kylo doesn’t break eye contact with her and nods slowly.

 

She returns to her work and follows the trail of his soft hairs down, down below his navel to the top of his pants where his hard length is already begging for her.  She opens up his pants and unzips him, but then stops just below his hip bone and sets to biting and sucking on him, breaking blood vessels and bruising the white tender skin as Kylo weaves both his hands in her hair and makes a little groaning noise that reminds Rey of a purr.

 

She abruptly pulls her mouth off of him and before he can recover takes his cock in both hands and slides her mouth down on him in one stroke.

 

Kylo gasps as his back arches in surprise and pleasure and he presses his hips up to her in reaction.  She starts rubbing and stroking him with her hands on his shaft, squeezing as she sucks in hard, swirling her tongue on the down stroke.   _He’s so big,_ Rey thinks, and her cunt clinches in jealousy as she mouths him faster.

 

Her hands are stroking him in tandem with her mouth as she pulls away and says, “Do you like this, Kylo?”  

 

“ _Oh God_ , yes.”

 

“Do you want more of my mouth?”

 

“Fuck yes, Rey... _please_.”

 

She dips back down, swirling with her tongue, and then takes him in again, sucking hard and stroking his balls and the sensitive skin below them as she starts to hum so she can take him deeper into her throat, thirsty for all of him.

 

Kylo is rocking with her now, breathing hard and tangling her hair with his fingers, moaning her name.  “Yes, Rey, oh God, yes…”

 

Rey pulls away again and looks up at him, “Call me your queen,” as she strokes him harder, feeling drunk on this power over him, claiming him in her hands and mouth.  Needing him to want her. Needing him to burn for her.

 

“God, Rey, you are a fucking queen.  You are my queen,” he looks down at her and she sees that he means it.  Her body reacts to this as if he had touched her.

 

“Then be a good boy and come for me, Kylo,” and Rey dips down to finish him off in her mouth, sucking him off as he gives over everything to her, bucking his hips up into her until he gasps and says her name like a mantra “Rey, Rey...” and comes in her mouth.

 

Rey swallows his hot seed down as she feels his thighs shudder beneath her until he stills, relaxing with a sigh as she gently pulls away and licks her lips and wipes her chin with the back of her hand.

 

Rey slowly climbs up to him and he reaches a hand behind her head to pull her in for a kiss, a peaceful look in his eyes as he says, “Rey, let me make you feel good…”

 

She smiles, “No, not tonight.  Tonight was for me.” Gives him a few quick pecks on his lips.  “Now get yourself together, you have to drive me home.”

 

\-------------

 

Rey lets Kylo drive her a couple of blocks away from her apartment, saying goodbye to him in front of the drugstore because she “needs a few things” and “no, don’t wait for me.”

 

He reaches over to nuzzle her neck, and says into the curve of her ear, “when can I see you again?”

 

Rey just says “mhmmm,” enjoying the feeling of his lips behind her ear.

 

Kylo pulls back to look at her, not letting her get out of the question.

 

Rey looks down, “Weekdays are hard.”  

 

Kylo shakes his head slowly, but doesn’t push her, “I’ll call you tomorrow, we’ll figure it out.  Even just lunch.”

 

Rey can agree to that, nods.  “Okay, goodnight.”

 

She gets out and presses the door closed as he watches her go.

  



	9. Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey and are taking this thing next level...so if you want to skip to the juiciest part it is at the very end.
> 
> This is #banging into love, dear readers, so we have a wee bit of emotional angst and vulnerability as they open up to one another (and tiny bit of plot) to move our couple forward. 
> 
> Next chapter: full on F-fest as they "honeymoon phase."
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and please if you catch an error feel free to let me know: @newerconstellations. Because I swear I tried to edit it, but you know. ;) All comments welcome and encouraged!

Kylo knows that technically he has survived many other Sundays, actually all of them up until now, without touching or kissing or seeing Rey.  But somehow that seems like a slow form of torture now.

Kylo has it  _ bad.  _

Rey has him in the palm of her dainty hand.  The same hands that took him into her mouth last night.  He should care, he should do something about this, a voice inside him says.  But then he thinks of Rey’s brilliant smile and it burns out any other thought, making room in his mind only for more Rey.

He wakes early Sunday and hits the gym, then takes care of the small household tasks and emails that have accumulated since Friday.  After several hours of work, it is still barely noon. Plenty of time left to fill with not-thinking-of-Rey. And failing.

Kylo starts to change his bed sheets, but they still smell like her so he leaves them.  Puts her toothbrush in a bathroom cabinet to save for later. By three o’clock, he can’t take it anymore and calls her.  

No answer.

_ What is she doing?  Where is she?  What is she wearing...  _

Kylo is impatient.  He hates to wait. He thinks of texting her, but decides against it.  He wants her full attention, her sexy voice like a purr directly into his ear.  Only a call will do when he can’t have her in his hands.

Kylo pours himself back into his work.  He has two print interview requests to prepare for, a meeting with the project engineers, plus the annual gala in a month’s time.  The gala is the big reveal of the First Order’s flagship project, the culmination of the ideas that won him the MacArthur, a public unveiling of their work and the highlight of the firm’s year.

He will be the First Order’s show pony for one last event.  Do the interviews, walk the red carpet, then be done with them for good.  Only four weeks until he can start his life over and get out of the darkness.   The look of shock on Hux’s face makes Kylo smirk as he thinks of his reaction to the news.  Snoke will be apoplectic. It will be wonderful.

 

Kylo tries to call Rey again at 8 pm.  No answer. He frowns and feels his annoyance rise, covering a flash of panic.

_ Why won’t she pick up?  Is she with someone else?  _

He swallows the thought, that snaking feeling of jealousy sliding in his chest.   _ You are being irrational, _ he tells himself.   _ Be patient, you just saw her yesterday. _

Kylo knows Rey wants him, he has no insecurity about that.  He remembers Rey glowing at him in the restaurant, using her foot to make him go mad for her.  Then her delicious, wide mouth wrapped around his cock…  _ God,  _ she made him quiver.  She looked so damn hot, her power over him a thrill for them both, as he gave up everything to her, calling her his queen...

That word.   _ Queen. _  It dawns on him why maybe Rey won’t pick up.

Rey has initiated every encounter.  From emailing him to invite him to coffee to pulling him into the back room at Starkiller.  Rey likes to be in control.

Oh, it has been hot being under her command and Kylo has followed her willingly.  But now he has an uneasy feeling that it is also her way of keeping him at arm’s length.  At keeping him from getting closer to her. Her way of protecting herself through distance.

Kylo frowns, nibbling his lip.  This won’t do. He knows Rey well enough to know she likes to be challenged.  She will get bored of this if it is too easy, bored of him. He has to go deeper with her, find a balance.  He needs her to want him as badly as he wants her.

Kylo thinks of the early morning when she tried to leave and he peeked behind her shields.  His hand on her small wrist, her face vulnerable and open. He remembers her wet eyes, her sadness and how suddenly she was small girl and not a glorious warrior.  He had simply asked her, _ please. Please stay. _  And she had come back to him, where she belonged, tucked in safe and warm cradled in his arms.

Kylo knows that underneath her crown and armor, there is another Rey.  Tightly-guarded and defended, maybe not as confident or in command as his queen.  But real. The real Rey.

Kylo likes challenges, too.  So he makes it his mission to break through to her.  To worship her, but to also earn her trust and prove to her that he is worth it.

He won’t risk losing her now that he’s found her.  He wants all of Rey and he isn’t going to rest until she feels it, too.

\--------------------------------

It is Monday afternoon and Kylo is in the middle of a staff meeting when Rey finally calls.

Kylo springs up to answer his phone, interrupting Hux mid-sentence with a raised index finger and, “Sorry, important call,” as he leaves the meeting room to step out into the hall for privacy.   Hux’s glare follows him through the glass door.

“ _ Thank you _ ,” Kylo says to Rey in a hushed tone as he answers the phone.

Rey laughs in surprise at his greeting, “What are you thankful for?”

“You rescuing me from Hux,” he says smiling.

Rey laughs.  “Oh, you’re welcome.”  She takes a breath, “I thought you were going to thank me for the other night… in your _ car _ .”  Her voice drips like honey in his ear.

He glances around, then moves to the far corner of the hall to evade Hux’s glowering at him through the glass.

“Yeah, that was fucking incredible.  But I’m not going to thank you, I’m going to return the favor.” His voice rumbles low in his chest.  

Rey inhales audibly and Kylo grins.  “Where are you right now?” he asks.

“Walking across campus, going to a non-CE class.  English lit.”

Kylo says, “I’ve been thinking about you.”

Rey’s tone is soft as she says, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.  You’ve been thinking about me?” Kylo’s voice is like velvet, questioning but not needy.

Rey hums her answer, “Mm-hmm,” like she’s savoring something delicious.

“I want to see you tonight,” Kylo wastes no words.  “Come over.”

Rey sighs, “I can’t tonight, I have work and I need to study for a quiz tomorrow.”

“I can help you study,” Kylo answers fast.

“You don’t even know what it is!” Rey sounds amused.

“I know that if you are  _ relaxed  _ you will study so much better,” Kylo says this as if he is calmly explaining the facts, and not just propositioning her.

Rey snorts and even that sound is adorable coming from her, “I don’t think you relax me, Mr. Ren.  Quite the opposite. You’re a major distraction.” Rey is flirting and Kylo loves it.

He changes tacts, “Adrenaline helps you recall facts, that is just science.”  Rey laughs and Kylo chuckles with her.

Rey exhales wistfully, “I have too much to do, tonight is out.” She sounds firm.  

Kylo swallows his pride, “Okay, when?  When can I see you?”

Rey considers.  “Wednesday.”

Kylo squeezes his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose, almost in physical pain, “You realize that is two days away, right?”

Rey answers in a sing-song voice, “You know what they say: ‘Absence makes the cock grow harder…’”

Kylo groans out, “I don’t think that’s what they say, Rey.”

“Yah, but it works, right?” She is giggling.  

_ Oh, she likes to put him on the edge.   _ “Okay, then let me call you tonight at least.  For a study break. You’ll answer?”

Rey sounds slightly apologetic, “Yes, I'll answer.  I'll keep my phone charged, it died on me last night."

A weight lifts from his shoulders.   _ Maybe she wasn’t avoiding him after all _ , “Okay, later then Rey.”  Kylo hangs up first.   As he walks back in the conference room he meets Hux’s scowl with a shrug and a forced smile.

\---------------------

Kylo waits until nine to call Rey.  She answers on the third ring.

“Hi Rey.”

“Hey,” Rey answers, sounding tired, “What are you doing?”

“I’m finishing up some draft renderings.  How’s the studying?” Kylo closes his laptop.

“Stupid 'water conservation strategies in mixed-use buildings' is killing me,” she says, sounding annoyed.

Kylo perks up.  “You should’ve mentioned the topic earlier, I can help you with that.  Our new project is energy and waste-negative because of in house conservation and recycling systems.  I can explain it.”

Rey sighs, sounding resigned, “Too late now.  Just cramming these things into my head for tomorrow at this point.”

“Let me come over.  I’ll help,” he offers genuinely.  

Rey groans, “Kylo, it is so late and my class is at nine.  I have to focus.”

“Just to study, okay?  I promise, no hands. I’ll be good.”  

Rey mulls it over, clearly torn, “I dunno Kylo, I’m  _ not _ good.  I may be tempted to jump you.  And I need a good grade on this one.”  

_ God, this woman and her mouth and what comes out of it.   _ Kylo gently pushes back, “Rey, let me help you, please.  We will just study. I won’t allow you to jump me, either, although it pains me physically to say that.  I promise.”

Rey is deciding while Kylo waits for her.  She relents, “Okay, but I’m coming over to your place.  I need the walk to clear my head.”

Kylo’s heart soars, but he stays calm, “Bring your books and notes.  Call me when you’re downstairs.”

\-------------------------------------

Kylo comes down to the lobby to escort Rey up and true to his word, keeps his hands shoved tightly in his pockets.

As she walks in the lobby he can’t help but break out in a huge grin.  She’s dressed in joggers and a blue hoodie, hair in a high bun, looking every inch the adorable student with her backpack.  She smiles back at him sheepishly at first, but as she stops just in front of him her brilliant smile breaks free as looks up into his eyes.  

Kylo drinks her in, her gorgeous face and those freckles.  Then he slowly leans down to her, hands still fisted in his jean pockets to resist the urge to grab her, and he bends in close enough to gently nuzzle his nose on her cheek, breathing her in.  He turns his head to slot his mouth over hers and gives her a tender and warm kiss.  _ This is heaven, this is right,  _ he thinks, then stops thinking entirely as he gives in to tasting her with a flick of his tongue.  

After he pulls back he plants a bonus kiss on her cheekbone and doesn’t miss her little breathless exhale and glazed eyes looking up at him as he says, “let’s study,” and leads her up to his place.

It is nearly midnight before they are done.

All business, he sits across from her in a chair as she lays on the couch, staying just out of arm’s reach to avoid temptation.  Kylo explains where the textbooks fail her. He focuses on her clever mind and answers her barrage of questions, trying to ignore the curve of her hip as she lays on her side with her head propped in her hand or how she absentmindedly rubs a finger on her lower lip when she’s thinking.  He identifies the source of her confusion and never patronizes her. He explains that the supplemental class information is already outdated, that the university is not equipped to monitor all the new innovations, they will always be years behind.

Rey yawns and Kylo can’t help but ask, “Why did you choose water as your specialty again?”  

Rey seems tired.  “Honestly? It was always on my mind growing up in the desert.  There never was enough of anything, but especially not water. It seemed like my path. I also received a supplemental scholarship from New Mexico to study water conservation, with the assumption I’d move back after school.”

Kylo is suddenly alert, “And will you?  Move back?”

Rey pauses, but then quickly answers honestly, “No, I don’t think I will ever go back.  I have nothing left for me there.”

Kylo takes everything he knows about this woman, ties it up together and tells her, “You should change your specialty.  You have too much talent to be stuck with just water, you need to be in something like renewables and energy. Something cutting edge and innovative where you can make your mark.”

Rey looks at Kylo with wide eyes, laser-focused on him.  “I’m third year, it would set me back to change my specialization now.”

Kylo looks at her intently, “It will set you even further back to tie yourself down to your past and not your future.  Become who you are meant to be, Rey. You are brilliant, you are not meant to live in the middle of nowhere. There’s so much you can do, the world could be yours.”  Kylo sees all her potential and his eyes are willing her to see it and to understand, too.

Rey is listening carefully to him now.  He knows he has picked at something in her, pulling at a thread of an idea she already had.  “It may mess up my scholarship, and Dr. Skywalker won’t like…”

“Luke won’t be a problem.  You don’t owe him anything.  And if you need any help sorting out the scholarship, I know people.  Which scholarship is it?”

Rey looks down and her shoulders fold inward.  “Casey Family Scholars,” she mutters quietly.

“I’m not familiar with it, is it regional?”  

Rey shakes her head slowly, still looking down.  She mumbles out, “No, it is for orphans,” her voice barely audible.

He watches as she physically melts further into his couch, deflating and not meeting his eyes.  She looks ashamed to share this with him. Kylo feels himself hollow out inside looking at her and he hurts for her, for her pain.  He feels the loneliness in his own heart reach out to hers, recognizing itself in another. 

Kylo watches as she fiddles with her hands in her lap anxiously as he puts even more pieces of this beautiful girl together in his mind, mapping her out, realizing that underneath they are the same in more ways than he thought.

“Rey…” Kylo starts to comfort her, but she cuts him off.

“I need a drink.  Do you have a beer?” She is off the couch and into his kitchen in a flash, turning her back to him.

_ No, don’t run away.  _  Kylo doesn’t let her go.  

He follows her into the kitchen where she has opened the fridge and is leaning in to hide her face from him.  He frames his body around hers, not touching her, but extending his arms just outside of hers, creating a living shadow.  A scaffolding so she isn’t alone.

He says nothing and gently leans down to her neck and plants a soft kiss, holding his lips in place behind her ear.  He whispers her name,  _ Rey,  _ in her ear.  A form of understanding.  A gift of compassion. The cold air from the open door fights against his heat behind her and she shivers.  

Rey breaks the spell and reaches for a beer then turns to face him.  He blocks her path, bracing her in, and his dark eyes insist she look at him.  She lifts her trembling chin and meets his gaze with wet eyes. She looks at him as if she wants an answer to a question she hasn’t asked.

He leans down to kiss her, hands still guarding her as his mouth does all the work.  Capturing her bottom lip gently between his. His tongue caressing hers, gently nipping at her lips.

She returns his kiss and then snakes a hand up to cradle the back of his neck and wind her fingers into his hair.  She presses her body closer to him and starts to rub against him, and Kylo feels himself responding to her already, growing hard.  Her breasts press against him and he has to grip the sides of the fridge to keep from scooping her up. He is so tempted to just lift her shirt,  _ take her pink nipple in his mouth right now…  _

But he promised.  And he isn’t going to fuck this up with Rey.  He wants her to trust him and he knows what he needs to do.

Kylo takes a step back from her and reaches up to unwrap her hand from his hair, bringing it down between them to turn it over and kiss her palm reverently.

Then Kylo takes the beer out of her other hand and leans around her to replace it in the fridge.

“Rey, it’s late.  Let me drive you home.  Or you can stay here, but we’re not messing around tonight because you have a quiz tomorrow and you need your rest.  I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Rey holds his gaze, stunned.  Then she looks down, breathing hard, and leans her forehead into his chest with a groan.  “I wish I didn't make you promise no hands, because now you won't touch me and I really want you to touch me.”

Kylo looks up at the ceiling and bites back a smile.  He’s going to do what’s best for her, even if she doesn’t like it.  Even if he doesn't like it. That’s what taking care of her means.

“Oh, what’s that saying again, sweetheart?  ‘Absence makes the pussy grow wetter’…”

Rey snaps up to look at him in mock horror, her mouth open, and uses both of her hands on his chest to push him back a foot, “You cheeky bastard!” she calls out, but then laughs at his shit-eating grin.

“Come on, I’m driving you home,” Kylo turns to get his keys.  “And you’re going to call me tomorrow at lunch to tell me how you aced this fucking quiz, right?”

He turns back to her in time to see her expression as she watches him, her eyebrows crinkled together, a mixture of sad and happy. _  What is she thinking?  _

Rey gathers up her things and as they walk out of his condo he laces his fingers through hers.  “Sorry, can’t help it,” he says with a shrug.

After she directs him to her apartment building for the first time, they spend a few minutes necking in the car.  Kylo would happily seat her in his lap and take her right there parked on the street, but settles for memorizing the taste of her skin, her smell, and the little sounds she makes when he puffs warm air out on her neck.

He kisses her goodnight and watches her walk into her apartment building, with a smile over her shoulder as she walks up the stairs, waiting for that final glimpse before he drives away.  

\---------------------------------------

It is Tuesday and Rey calls him.

She did well on the quiz, she thinks, and she says it was because of him.  Rey sounds relaxed and happy, and as Kylo sits in his cold corner office he can feel himself warm up in her sunny mood.

She shares with him little details of her day:  What Professor Holdo said in class, how Poe cracked up Rose and she nearly choked at lunch, how Rey was asked to help at the CE awards banquet in two weeks and she is nervous.

Rey is sharing little thoughts about her life, little parts of herself with him.  Kylo imagines they are tiny bread crumbs leading him to the real Rey and he follows them, piece by piece.

Then Rey asks, “What are you doing tonight?” her voice lowering a bit in a verbal form of two eyebrows raising up provocatively.

Kylo darkens, remembering, “I have a dinner with Snoke and Hux.  Mandatory.”

“Oh, okay.”  Rey is disappointed.  Kylo wants to make up for it.

“Can I call you afterwards?  Maybe ten?”

“Yeah, I’ll be up.  Call me.”

“You’ll answer the phone, Rey?” Kylo confirms.

“Yes, I’ll charge it, okay?”  She reassures.

“Do you have like an icon or picture of me when I call?” Kylo asks, suddenly curious.

Rey laughs, “Yes, I do.  A photo, and actually you know it already.”

“I do?” Kylo racks his brain.  She’s never taken a picture of him on her phone.   _ Picture on her phone _ , “Ah, I do.  Is it that picture of me from Starkiller?”

Rey giggles, “Yes, Oh My God, that was so embarrassing.”

Kylo says instantly, “Never be embarrassed with me, okay?”

Rey is quiet for a moment.  “Hmm. Gotta go, Rose is picking me up.  Call me later.”

Then she’s gone.

\---------------------------------------------------

Kylo meets Hux and Snoke as they are already seated at the trendy Greek Restaurant, Crete.  The redheaded lackey is whispering in the ear of the older bald man, whose withered visage gives him a distinctly sinister vibe even in the low light.

As they sit in a quiet corner, discussing details of the upcoming gala, Kylo absentmindedly checks his phone.  No calls from Rey.

“It appears that Ren has met a girl,” Hux reports condescendingly, as Kylo snaps up to watch him with wary eyes.   _ The snide bastard,  _ he thinks darkly.  “I saw her at Kyber the other day.  A cute little student…”

Kylo cuts him off, “Hux, I hardly think Snoke is interested."  His dark eyes a warning.

“Oh, indeed, Kylo.  My star apprentice has met someone notable?  This is news considering how you never leave the office,” Snoke’s tone is dripping with sarcasm.  Kylo feels a pit form in his stomach. He knows this is going to be used to hurt him. “You should bring her to the gala and introduce us, Ren."

_ Like hell,  _ Kylo thinks.  He wants to keep Rey a million miles away from the First Order’s toxicity.

“Oh, yes, Ren.  Do invite her. Of course, I’m not sure she will be, ah,  _ comfortable _ , with the crowd in attendance.  She seems a bit...  _ unrefined  _ \- or perhaps naive?”  Hux’s lips form into a sneer as he studies Kylo.  Kylo clenches his fists under the table and has to swallow his anger before responding.

“I prefer to keep my private life out of the office,” his voice simmering.  Kylo feels his rage prickling just under the surface. Hux is treading on dangerous ground.

Snoke dismissively snorts.  “Oh, nonsense, we all give over everything to the order, Kylo.  It is the only way to stay focused on our work,” Snoke turns to study Kylo.  “Yes, bring the girl. She must be something special to catch the eye of our star architect.  I’m sure she would be delighted to see your keynote speech. There’s nothing like success and power to open a woman’s legs.”

Kylo flinches, but says nothing.  Years of Snoke’s verbal abuse have taught him to take it and not provoke him further.  “I’ll speak to her about it,” Kylo mumbles, a lie. He wants this topic closed.

“Oh, it is settled then.  Hux, update the seating chart.  Kylo’s girl- what is her name?”

“Rey,” he grits out, dark eyes livid.

“Rey will be seated at our table, Hux.  Phasma can move.”

Hux grins as he takes the note while Kylo boils.  He grits his teeth through the rest of the long meeting, hating Hux and hating himself for going along with Snoke, for being under his thumb even now.  

\-------------------------------------------------------------

It is nearly eleven when Kylo calls Rey.

She doesn’t pick up and it goes to her voicemail.

_ Fuck,  _ Kylo seethes,  _ fuck, dammit!  Snoke ruins everything he touches.   _ After an evening with Snoke he feels dirty, stained.  Desperation is rising as he dials Rey’s number again, afraid he has ruined the one good thing he has, his only hope.

Rey picks up on the second ring.  “Hey Kylo,” voice husky, “I think I fell asleep.”

Kylo exhales.  The tension in his shoulders releases.  He can breathe again.

“I’m sorry it’s late, the fucking meeting took forever,” he pauses, “But I had to talk to you, just to hear your voice tonight.”

“No, I’m glad you called.”

“Hey, are you alone?  Do you have a roommate?” Kylo suddenly realizes he has no idea about her living situation.

“Yeah, I’m alone.  Just me.”

He goes out on a limb, “Let’s facetime.  Can we do that? I’d just like to see you.” Kylo hears the urgency in his own voice and cringes.

“Okay, but I’m a mess…” she starts, but he quickly cuts her off.  “I could care less, I just want to see your face, okay?” Kylo doesn’t know why this is suddenly so important to him, but it is.

She is quiet on the other side of his call.  “Sure, let me call you back,” Rey hangs up and redials.

Kylo pushes a button and then there she is in front of him.  Hair loose and in waves, rubbing an eye with a sleepy smile. Her face lighting him up from his phone.  Just looking at her is enough for him now.

Kylo sees himself in the corner of the screen, face tense, dark circles under his eyes, stubble…  _ God, what does she see in him?  A fucking black hole.  _ He looks back to her instead.

He hasn’t said anything, he’s just staring intently.  Rey leans forward and quietly says, “Hey there,” and gives a little shake of her head, “Where are you?  It looks so dark.”

He blinks at her brightness as he sits in a pool of black, “I’m in my car.”

She stares at him, taking in his expression.  She looks down at his lips and says softly, “Why don’t you go inside your place?”

“I’m not at home, I just pulled over.  I wanted to call before you went to bed.”  He studies her face, her hazel eyes waking up to him now, the way she is worrying her lip with her tongue.  

She’s looking at him quizzically.  “Where are you, babe?” Rey asks gently, worried.  He almost misses that it is the first time she’s called him by an endearment.   

“I’m not sure,” he presses his lips together and shakes his head, “I didn’t want to miss you.”

Rey studies him.  Kylo is too exhausted to hide anything from her.  He can see the longing in his own eyes reflected back at him from the corner of the phone, but he doesn’t care.  He doesn’t know how to define this need to see her, not even to himself. 

“Come and get me,” Rey says suddenly.

Kylo sighs, “Rey, I didn’t want to pressure…”

“Shut up, Kylo, come and pick me up.  Call me when you are downstairs.” And she hangs up.

\------------------------------------------

He’s there in under 10 minutes.

He didn’t tell her that he was parked around the corner from her place.  He didn’t want to scare her off. Not sure himself why he had mindlessly driven to her apartment as if drawn to a magnet.  He had to sit listening to the radio to hide how close he really was before coming to get her.

Kylo pulls up and Rey runs out and slips in beside him, leans over to give him a quick kiss on the mouth.  He sees she has a backpack. “Let’s go,” she says.

 \-------------------------------------------

His hand wraps around her waist in the elevator so naturally now.  

He fumbles slightly with his keys in his hurry to get inside his condo, and once the door is closed and locked, he turns to her and pulls her into him, leaning back against the door, devouring her mouth in his.

Rey drops her bag and grabs the collar of his shirt in both hands, fists pulling him down to her mouth.  He reaches his hands around to cup her ass and haul her closer to him, her thin joggers doing nothing to protect her from his hard cock pressing into her.  

 

“I want you so badly,” he spits out, kissing her neck, her collarbone, hands slipping under her shirt to palm her breasts, starving for her.

“I want you too, baby,” He nearly growls as she says it, his hands pulling her bra down, squeezing tightly flesh on flesh, her nipples hard in his hands.

He switches positions with her to press her back into the door.  Rey wraps one leg up around his hip to get at a better angle and he lifts her up in his hands to straddle him, his hard tip pressing into her wet center through their pants.  She moans in his mouth and wraps her hands around his neck as he returns to kissing her, pressing her up against the door, rattling the lock.

 

Rey sucks his bottom lip into her mouth and he thrusts against her with an involuntary groan.   _ I need all of her, right now.  _  He pulls her to his chest and he’s moving now, lifting her like she’s nothing, as she starts to kiss his neck, sending a long lick all the way up from his collarbone to behind his ear.  Kylo hisses and squeezes her ass tighter in his hands.

He’s in the bedroom and he leans down to the bed and releases her to bounce away from him.  He reaches for her waistband and in one firm movement, slides her panties and her pants down to her ankles and then off.  He peels off his own layers as Rey strips off her shirt and bra, then he kneels down before her and says, “I’ve been waiting to taste you for days,” as he strokes her thighs, kissing all around her sensitive skin except where Rey wants him the most.

Rey lays back and closes her eyes, tilts her hips up to his mouth, arching up for him with a moan, “Yes, baby,  _ please,  _ please taste me…”

Kylo reaches up his left arm to capture a breast and then opens up his mouth to take her.  Fucking her with his tongue, caressing her with his lips, and then two fingers press inside while he sucks and nips on her sensitive bud.  Rey cries out in his hands but her hips reach for him, rocking to pull him in deeper. She is already so wet for him and Kylo drinks down her sweetness, knowing _ it is just for him, all for him, and no one else.  _

Kylo looks up at her with hungry eyes while melting her in his mouth, and he can’t stop looking at her.  She is moaning with no shame, accepting him, her mouth open in the pure pleasure that he is giving her. He has never seen anything so beautiful in his life and the thought sets him on fire.

He pinches her nipple and she cries out, then he pulls back with his mouth while curling his fingers inside her, reaching for that magical spot.

“How do you want it, Rey?  How do you want me to make you come?  Tell me.”

She moans, “Oh, God, like this, with your mouth.  And then inside me. I want to feel you inside me.”

“I’m going to fuck you so hard, sweetheart, you’ll forget your name.  But you won’t forget mine.”

He dives back down and flicks his tongue as his two fingers move faster, as if he is beckoning her over the edge to come for him.   _ Come on baby, give that gift to me, come for only me.  _

She’s breathing faster now, wet hitching sounds, and her hips are bucking with him as he feels her walls start to squeeze in on his fingers, tighter and tighter, hugging him into her.  He pinches her nipple hard and it sends her flying over the edge as she cries out for him, her legs shaking, and her core pulsing around him. He licks her through her climax and then kisses her inner thighs gently as she quivers beneath his lips.  When he rubs his stubbled cheek against her inner thigh she giggles at the sensation. 

“You are the hottest woman on earth.  I could eat you for fucking dessert every day and would beg for more.”

He climbs up her slowly, his kisses little mile markers on his journey up her body, first her hip bones, ribs, breasts, shoulders and then neck.  He is iron hard for her, and aligns himself with her center and looks deep into her eyes as he slowly pushes in.

Kylo keeps going until he is fully inside her and Rey moans and gasps as he fills her up.  He leans down to kiss her and she wraps her legs around his waist holding him still and in place as her body shifts to take him in.  He starts to gently rock his hips back and forth, going from deep to deeper inside her, playing with the angle, digging her out deep inside.

She pulls away to stare at him, open mouthed, then reaches up a hand to brush his hair from his eyes.  He is caught in her eyes. Kylo has never felt this intensity with anyone before, didn't even think it was possible.  He could drown in her eyes, in her body, or maybe he already has. She squeezes her thighs around him tighter as her hands cradle his cheeks and their faces are inches apart.

He looks down at her, slowly rocking, fitting in to her as if they were made to be together.  No space between them, yet all he wants is to get in deeper. He stares into her eyes and sees her.  He says, “You are not alone.”

Rey stills and her expression falters.  Whether it is her climax in his mouth, or the one she is building up now, she can't hide the flurry of feelings on her face.  She doesn’t hide from the intensity of his stare. Rey has no mask, no armor. He sees her eyes grow wet and she says, “Neither are you.”

Kylo didn’t know how much he needed to hear that from her until he feels his hips start to move on their own, pushing deeper and pulling out to creating more friction, pushing into her strongly now.  Rey starts to moan and meet his thrusts, eyes on him, and he knows he won’t last long but he wants to feel more of her so he pulls out suddenly.

Kylo draws back on the bed up to kneeling.  He pulls her up and turns her around, so she is on all fours in front of him, then pushes into her again with a hand on her low back and her stomach.  He pumps into her a few times positioning his legs outside of her thighs, then with a hand on her shoulder and another on her hip he lifts her up so she is sitting on his lap, his cock still deeply seated inside her but her back pressing into his chest as she leans back.

He reaches a hand to wrap down between her thighs to find the place where they are joined and then starts rubbing circles into her clit.  Kylo’s other hand draws up to Rey’s cheek to angle her slightly to his side looking up so he can kiss her. He has access to her entire body now, reaching his hand down to circle her breasts, rubbing her clit, kissing her mouth while he fucks her and feels her body against his chest.  Kylo is greedy and he wants all of her.

He breaks the kiss to suck on her neck and uses a hand to help her bounce on his lap.  He is so close and he can feel Rey tensing as she starts to pant. "Oh, Kylo, oh baby," then losing her words to small whines from the back of her throat that make him push harder and faster as he fucks her in his lap.

He reaches a hand gently around her jaw, to support her head as he turns her face to the side to face him, “I want all of you Rey, every fucking inch,” he whispers in her ear as his fingers circle her clit faster and faster, “I want you to come screaming my name, Rey.”

Rey's eyes are closed and she's moaning now as he pulls back to watch her face.  “Oh, God, Kylo, oh, baby, all for you, everything, for you…” Rey’s voice is rising in time with his thrusts, and then she suddenly leans forward and arches her back, hands on his thighs, pushing her ass back against him hard as she quakes, yelling out his name.  He comes with her, pumping three times fast to catch up, then holds her in place as he kisses her neck through his own climax an supports her head with his hand as she comes down in his arms. Rey leans back against him boneless and smiling, draping over him as he girds her in place.

Kylo gently lays her down and curls beside her, one arm extending straight up and the other across her waist.  She’s so small, his forearm touches the bed before it touches her, but she reaches out and grabs his hand to hug it in to her chest.

Worn out and filled up, they drift off to sleep.  Not quite realizing yet that this was the last day they ever had to feel alone.

  
  
  



	10. Rollercoaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, padawans, it's going to be quite the ride from here on out. ;). Please let me know what you think (and like) in comments or on Tumblr @NewerConstellations, I read and appreciate your feedback!  
> \-------------------
> 
> Rey’s face blossoms into an open-mouthed grin at the newness and joy of it all, shooting around the track like a rocket, her heart stuck up in her throat.
> 
> Rey is moving so fast that nothing slow or dark could ever catch her now. This is what it feels like to be light as air. This is being powerless against the forces of nature. This is freedom. This is pure joy.
> 
> Safe in Kylo’s arms, Rey thinks it is a lot like falling in love.

Rey was ten years old the first time she went to an amusement park.  Amusement parks were for normal kids. Kids with money, kids with parents.  Not for kids like Rey.

 

Rey had lived with her foster family the Plutts for three years.  The Plutts never spent a dime on the kids in their care that wasn’t virtually ripped from their hands.  “Uncle” Plutt constantly complained of the costs of feeding all these hungry mouths, clothing all these ungrateful growing bodies, and _didn’t we just buy you those shoes?!_  

 

She got used to scavenging for what she needed, scraping by however she could.  She also got used to never quite having enough, of anything.

 

It wasn’t until Rey’s case worker told the Plutt’s that the Foster Family Day at the local Cliff’s Amusement Park was free, _with food_ , that the Plutts agreed to go.  The minute Rey hit the park, she was away from them in a flash, not that they cared.  She raced from ride to ride, eager to try everything, hungry for the newness of it all.

 

Rey dared herself to ride the New Mexico Rattler, the old wooden roller coaster, by herself.  She waited patiently until she could sit in the very first car alone. As the bar came down locking her small frame in place, she swallowed her rising panic at being trapped.  She willed herself to be strong as the ride lurched into movement with a rusty creak.

 

Rey still remembers that ride as if it were yesterday.

 

The colored flags that line the sharp incline of the track are blowing wildly in the wind.  As the ride lifts her up one inch at a time, she wraps tight fists around the safety bar and stares straight up into the wide blue sky, squinting at the late afternoon sun.  It seems as if every _click-click-click_ of the coaster is lifting her straight up to the sky.  

 

The coaster finally ratchets her up to the pinnacle of the track.  As she reaches the crest, there is a moment where she feels perfectly balanced in space, halfway between the rise and the fall.  The wind whips through her hair as the wide skyline of Albuquerque is laid out before her and it is oddly quiet but for the sound of her breath.  She waits on the edge as if time has stopped and she is hovering in space, weightless.

 

Then suddenly the gravity shifts and the mass of cars dragging behind her surges forward to push her down fast.  Rey is falling, falling, racing, powerless against gravity and physics. Now she is flying, unbelievably fast, faster than anything she can imagine, and her hair flies up all around her face, her small body lifted inches off her seat as she screams and laughs, laughs, laughs.  Rey’s face blossoms into an open-mouthed grin at the newness and joy of it all, shooting around the track like a rocket, her heart stuck up in her throat.

 

Rey is moving so fast that nothing slow or dark could ever catch her now.  This is what it feels like to be light as air. This is being powerless against the forces of nature.  This is freedom. This is pure joy.

 

Safe in Kylo’s arms, Rey thinks it is a lot like falling in love.

 

\----------------------------------------------

 

Rey wakes up with the morning light in his bed.  She rolls over to see him curved toward her, sleeping peacefully with a thatch of dark hair covering his eye.

 

Rey studies him quietly in the early light.  The curve of his mouth drawn down in sleep. His broad chest bare to her, a muscled arm folded in on himself.  She reaches out a finger to tenderly push back his hair, gently sweeping along his brow, a loving touch.

 

She is stepping into the wilderness with him, dangerous and exciting.  Allowing herself to open up and want for someone after a lifetime of erecting walls.  Allowing herself to start to need him.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

When Rey saw Kylo’s face on the call the night before, his pale face shining like a mournful moon from the darkness of his car, there was a look in his eyes that shocked her with recognition.  Loneliness, she realized with surprise. Longing. His ache called out to her, creating a bond of sorts, a kinship formed with the broken pieces of her own heart.

 

Deep underneath the exterior of this handsome, accomplished man was something empty and hungry, a deep void. And Rey thinks for the first time she may have something to offer Kylo, after all.  She doesn’t have wealth or status or fame, but she does have something he may need. _Herself._  It is all she has to give him, but it is everything.

 

Before she could think herself out of it, she had told him to shut up and come and get her.  She gathered up her things and shoved them in her backpack. Locked the door behind her and as she raced down the steps, the old voice popped into her head.

 

_He only wants you for that.  You’re nothing to him. He will hurt you.  You will let him in, and he will leave you.  You have to stay in control. Protect._

 

But Rey didn’t listen.  She ran down, ran faster so she had no time to think, ran fast enough so the dark thoughts can’t catch her as she practically leaped into his arms.

 

And that’s where she fell asleep, in his arms.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------

 

Rey wakes with the morning sun feeling for the first time a sense of peace.  She’s feeling brave, because she’s with him now. And he said she wasn’t alone, and neither is he.

 

He is sleeping so peacefully beside her that Rey feels her heart start to swell.  Her eyes luxuriate in all the thickness he has to offer her, a visual feast of taut pale skin stretched over mountains of muscle.  She gets a wicked thought and slips down under the covers quiet as a mouse. Her lips curl in a naughty smile as she ducks down lower to find his length, soft as putty.   _Putty in my hands,_ Rey thinks.

 

Under the covers she can smell him, musky and warm, a mix of their scents trapped from last night.  His smooth skin is peppered with a smattering of moles, and his dark, curly hairs lead her right to his long, white dick lying unsuspecting between his strong thighs.  Rey puffs out a hot breath of air, experimentally, and nothing happens. She blows softly out of her pursed lips, like blowing out a candle, and now Kylo shifts in his sleep, his cock slightly twitching.

 

Rey reaches out her hand and carefully traces a line down his shaft from his base to his head,  barely grazing his skin, not even a tickle. She moves in closer and gives his tip a kiss, then peeks up to see him take a deep breath in.  He’s starting to wake to her touch, and she watches in fascination as his cock begins to swell and grow, slowly rising up as if it is stretching with a yawn.

 

Rey presses her lips to his shaft then extends her tongue and traces lines.  She is licking lightly, adding a drag of her lips and kisses, and breathing out hot air on him as he hardens under her touch.  Then after peeking up to see his lips part in his sleep with a deep inhale, she wraps her hands around his base as she guides him to her lips and sucks him into her mouth with a swirl of her tongue.

 

Kylo moans out loud as she takes him in deeper, pulsing him in and out of her mouth.  The air around her is hot under the covers as she feels his hand weave into her hair and tug.  Suddenly the diffused light becomes shades brighter as he lifts up the covers to look down at her, sleepy eyes full of amazement as she grins up at him with his dick in her mouth.

 

Rey makes eye contact as she presses him in so deep she almost gags, humming in the back of her throat to keep from choking.  Kylo closes his eyes and his head falls back on his pillow as he says, “ _Damn,_ woman, you feel like _sin_.”  Rey thrills at his praise and sucks harder, squeezing his shaft in her one hand as the other snakes up reach for a nipple but can’t reach that far so settles for a palm pressing on his stomach.

 

She starts thrusting him in and out of her mouth as his breath hitches, finding her groove as he starts to tilt his hips to meet her.  Suddenly she feels hands under her armpits dragging her up and she releases him with a wet pop as he lays her flat on his chest. He takes both hands to the sides of her face and looks at her with drowsy eyes before kissing her deeply, almost roughly, owning her mouth with his tongue like he just did with his dick.

 

He pulls away with a gasp, “You are fucking amazing, baby.  I want to taste you, too,” he rumbles out.

 

Kylo guides her to sit up.  “Turn around and give me that sweet pussy,” he says in a bossy tone, voice low and raspy with sleep as he playfully slaps her ass.

 

Rey turns around and straddles his chest as he draws her thighs back to him.  She has never had a guy eat her out like this, she never would have let them, and the thought has her dripping wet already.  Kylo presses her thighs wider with his hands to wiggle down between her legs and licks a long stripe up her wet slit.

 

Rey moans and rocks back to him.  She is totally open and exposed to him in the morning light and it feels decadent and brave.  Her breasts are rubbing up and down on his stomach, her sensitized nipples rasping against his skin, and she presses her palms into the bed beside his waist for leverage.  She is rocking herself back and forth to meet his tongue, fucking herself on his mouth, and it feels incredible, the hottest thing she’s done with him yet.

 

“Oh, God, baby, yes,” Rey says, and what she lacks in eloquence she makes up for in enthusiasm.  His lips vibrate on her clit as he hums “mmm-hmmm” against her skin, an extra zing of pleasure. Rey is moaning open-mouthed when she sees his cock reaching up for her.  She licks her lips and the urge is suddenly so strong she can’t resist it, she reaches out a hand and stretches forward to take him into her mouth again. He only reaches in part way at this angle, but it’s enough as Rey starts to flick her tongue and suck on his head.

 

Kylo moans and then reaches up two fingers to press inside her and uses his thumb to circle her tight bud as he breaks away, gasping, “goddamn, baby, your mouth feels good.  I want you to come with my cock in your mouth.”

 

Rey whines.  His words are so dirty and her reaction to him is so instant, she almost gushes on his face.  She’d never dreamed of this scenario before but now it seems like the hottest thing she could imagine.  She takes him in as deep as she can as he replaces his hand with his mouth and presses her thighs back to his face.

 

The sounds Rey is making in the back of her throat sound almost animalistic.  He is lifting her up, ratcheting her up higher with his lips and tongue, and Rey can feel her peak rising.  Rey sucks him in deeper as if she is thirsting for him. She starts pulsing him in and out of her mouth at the same rhythm he is licking her, and she has never felt this intense connection with anyone before, never felt as vulnerable and as safe as this moment with him.  Her body doing what her mind and heart cannot, surrendering entirely to this man and making him surrender to her, too.

 

She gives in to her pleasure with a high-pitched keen as she comes gasping around him in her mouth, shuddering as he licks her through her climax, eyes almost blinded in her pleasure and sucking him in deeper with a groan as she comes down, spent.

 

When she stops shaking, Kylo gently rolls her over onto her side and lies behind her, kissing her neck and shoulder, reaching his hand around to cup and squeeze her breast.

 

Rey is panting, “That was so good.  I’ve never done that before. God, that was so hot.”

 

He nips at her ear then reaches a palm behind her knee to lift her top leg up.  She is sopping wet and he slips in easily behind her as she lays on the bed, spent.  He starts pressing into her gently, angling his body below her to press in deeper, his hand holding her thigh in place.  Rey reaches a hand back to cup his ass and in a handful of thrusts he comes with a groan before sliding his arm down to rest behind her, releasing her leg down and drawing his arm across her chest as he pants, mirroring the position they woke up in.

 

“What a wake-up call, sweetheart,” he says drowsily.  Rey sighs as she pulls the covers back up, saving the warmth they created, as she curls up in his arms.

 

\-----------------------------------------------

 

After drifting back to sleep, she wakes to hear the shower running.  Wednesday morning, _hump day,_ Rey thinks with a snicker.  Rey doesn’t have lab until eleven today so no reason to leave.

 

She steps into the bathroom as he’s wetting his hair.  She slips into the small adjacent room with the toilet and yells “Watch out!” as she flushes so he won’t get scalded.  When she walks out he is grinning at her.

 

“You don’t have to say that, there’s plenty of hot water here,” he says with a smile.

 

“Oh, okay,” Rey feels momentarily foolish, but when she looks up at him abashed, he looks at her gently.  

 

“You are so sweet, you know that?”  His words and those eyes he makes at her while saying them make her want to blush.

 

“Growing up we would torture the shitty kids by flushing on them, just to hear them scream.  It was payback.” She immediately regrets the words and berates herself. _TMI, why the hell did you say that?_ She tries to cover it up by walking up to him in the shower in an attempted seduction, “enough room for me?”

 

She tries to avoid the pity in his eyes as he opens the door for her, and she steps into the steam with him.  He likes his showers hot, like she does. Never enough hot water growing up, so she makes up for it now.

 

She steps around him to stand under the stream of water.  As she closes her eyes and tilts her head back to wet her hair, she opens them to find him staring at her, rubbing the soap between his palms to create a thick lather as he studies her.  How he can do that with his eyes, making her feel simultaneously captured and worshipped, she cannot understand. He reaches around her to replace the soap and then brings his palms to her waist, soaping her gently, wet hands slipping up over her breasts, her stomach, her hips, an act both tender and seductive.  He turns her around slowly to wash her shoulders, her back, his hands slipping low to soap up her round ass, massaging circles. Rey closes her eyes to enjoy his ministrations and leans into his hands, watching him when she can, thinking he looks like an artist intently carving a sculpture. Then she turns to pick up the soap herself.

 

She brings her slick hands to his chest.  Carves out his pectorals first with her hands and thumbs, rubbing over his nipples, then tracks down lower to rub his abs and trace his ribs and waist with her fingers.  She reaches lower and feels his hip points, then his thick curly hair and uses two hands to soap up his length, feeling him twitch in her palms. She circles behind him rubbing his back and leaning her chest against him before soaping up his ass and squeezing gently.

 

Rey has never felt this tender, this giving to a man.  Touch outside of quick gratification has been foreign to her, repellant even.  She’s never stayed long enough to reach the tender phase. But receiving from Kylo, and giving to him, has opened up a door inside she didn’t know existed.

 

They rinse off and get dressed, Rey twirling her hair up in a towel like turban as they brush teeth side by side, like a married couple.

 

“Got any food, babe?” she asks him, getting used to the pet name that flows readily from her lips.

 

“Mmmm,” he spits out, “I have coffee for sure.  Maybe some leftovers?” He towels off his hands.  “Actually, let me order in.”

 

Rey pulls up and stares at him through the mirror.  “Order in? Breakfast?”

 

“Yeah, there’s a brunch place around the corner that delivers to the building.  Let me find the menu.”

 

Rey tries to imagine this lifestyle.  A queen in her palace, with carrera marble and designer fixtures and brunch delivered. _What would it feel like to expect such luxury?  What would it feel like to deserve it?_ Rey tries, but she can’t imagine the answer.

 

When she rejoins him, she’s used his hair drier and she’s dressed in jeans and a black muscle t-shirt.  He hands her a coffee and sets down the menu, “just circle what you want.” Rey chooses the western omelet with bacon, biscuit, and blueberry waffle combo, because if you are going to get brunch delivered, you should make it really count, in her opinion.

 

She checks her phone for the time, sees it is 9:15 am already.  “When do you have to go into work?” she asks.

 

Kylo shrugs.  “When I want to.”

 

She says, “I can go if you need- “

 

“What I want to do right now is eat with you.  They can wait.” As if it has been eavesdropping and disagrees, Kylo’s phone buzzes with a new text.  Kylo ignores it and sips his coffee.

 

Rey walks to his dining room to stare out the window.  The morning light bathes the city in warmth, a slight pink-orange glow on the tall white skyscrapers shifting to yellow as the sun rises, shining on the Charles River in the distance.

 

Kylo walks up beside her to share the view.  “It is gorgeous. I love this city,” she says absentmindedly.  

 

“It isn’t bad.  But I prefer Berlin, to be honest.  Barcelona. Even Portland is doing good work in sustainability.”  She turns to look at his profile, his expression neutral.

 

“Have you traveled to those places?”  He nods in response.

 

“I have only been here and in New Mexico.”  A statement of fact, a pathetic truth. Rey doesn’t pity herself but it is frustrating that the words come out so wistfully.

 

Kylo throws an arm around her and kisses above the her ear.  “We’re going to remedy that, and soon. You need to travel. You need to see new cities, how people live around the world.  All the possibilities.”

 

As she absorbs his words, a part of her feels almost exuberant that he believes in her this much.  Proud that he wants her. And she wants him, too, she knows it. So why does she feel a seed of terror in the pit of her stomach?  Why can’t she just relax and accept this gift he’s giving her, the gift of hope?

 

“I’ll settle for you showing me breakfast,” she says as she leans into his arm, only separating when they hear the knock on the door for food.  

 

\-------------------------------------

 

Kylo insists on dropping her off for class.  He pulls up in front of her Civil Engineering building and idles the Tesla as she leans over to him for a goodbye kiss.

 

“I’ll call you later,” she offers with a smile.

 

“I’ll be waiting,” he replies.

 

As she gets out with a wave and starts up the steps, Kylo hears a text alert and pulls out his phone to check it.  He is looking down when the sound of knuckles rapping on his window startles him.

 

Standing on the other side is Uncle Luke, eyes glowering and mouth pressed together tightly, looking furious.

 

Kylo sighs as he rolls down his window and presses his lips together tensely, “Why, hello, Professor Skywalker, it has been a long time- ”

 

Luke cuts him off.  “What the hell are you doing here, Ben?  And was that Rey Niman in your car?” Luke spits the words out at him with disdain.

 

Kylo tries to contain his ire, his voice dropping an octave as he struggles to maintain control, his voice caustic, “I’m not a teenager anymore, Uncle Luke, and you didn’t just catch me fooling around with a girl in my bedroom.  So you can watch your tone.”

 

“Ben, I don’t know what you are playing at here, but Rey is a great student of mine and a good girl.  She’s had a difficult upbringing, and you need to- ”

 

Kylo turns blazing eyes to Luke, interrupting his thought, “Don’t tell me what Rey needs.  You don’t presume to tell me about her. It is none of your damn business.”

 

Luke stands speechless, glowering, as Kylo shifts the car into drive and pulls away.

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

Kylo rolls into the office at lunchtime, messages and calls piling up on his desk, all hell evidently breaking loose.  As he sits down at his computer Mitaka scurries up to him, eyes full of terror.

 

“Yes, Don?” he asks when the man just won’t spit it out.

 

“Snoke is furious, absolutely livid with the latest design.  He said it is too derivative and that Perkins+Will did something similar in 2016.”  Mitaka is practically shaking in fear.

 

“That’s total bullshit, they did not.  No one has done anything like this. I’ll explain it to him myself, don’t worry.”  Kylo darkens as he looks over Mitaka’s shoulder to see Hux enter his office.

 

“Ren!  We’ve been looking for you all morning!  Where have you been?” Hux’s voice is shrill and loud.

 

Kylo feels a heat rise.  “Everyone calm the fuck down.  I’m here now, I will take care of it.”  He shakes his head and bites the corner of his mouth.  He is done with this toxic drama.

 

“Calm down?!  One month to the gala and Snoke hates the design!  This is catastrophic! Calm down?!” Hux’s normally controlled demeanor is one step away from desperate when he narrows his eyes accusingly, “And you are losing focus.  Distracted, out of the office. Maybe that girl is clouding your judgment, Ren.”

 

Kylo snaps up out of his chair, pointing a finger at Hux as his voice bellows, “Don’t you ever mention her again to me, Hux.  Never again. I’ll take care of this. I know what I  have to do.”

 

Hux stares at Kylo darkly, then he and Mitaka flee the office as Kylo sits down at his desk, leaning forward to hold his head in his hands and put out the fires of the First Order.

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

On Thursday night, Kylo calls her just as she’s getting home after work.  

 

“Hey, baby, what’re you doing?” he purrs in her ear.

 

“Busy college student stuff, studying for my Friday quiz.  Trying to win the first round at Starkiller tomorrow,” she answers while nuking some ramen.

 

“Come over and we can work together on it,” She hears the sounds of bags rustling in the background.  “I just got some Thai takeout and there’s enough for two.”

 

Rey laughs, “You know the way to my heart is through my mouth, huh?”  

 

“I’ve noticed your gorgeous fucking mouth, yes, and how many different things you like to put in it.”  His velvet voice heats her up from the insides out.

 

“You are a bad, bad man, Kylo Ren.  I need to focus and study.”

 

“You don’t know how right you are, I’m glad you can’t see into my mind.  And you can study here,” his voice lowers to a rumble, “Sitting on my lap.”

 

“Kylo!” Rey squeals indignantly.

 

“I won’t touch you.  I’ll keep my hands to myself.  You can just sit here and study away.  Everybody wins.”

 

Rey thinks she should probably put up more of a fight.  Resist him, set some boundaries, not set his expectations that she will do what he wants.  But then her heart says, _but I want to._

 

“I expect you to be a good little boy,” she says, abandoning the ramen and grabbing her bag.  “I’ll be over soon.”

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

Perched on Kylo’s lap is the only way to study, she finds.  It may not be as efficient as studying on her own, but it sure as hell is a lot more exciting.

 

He sits with his legs spread, his laptop open on the left arm of his couch, his own left hand lazily scrolling down a report on tensile strength behaviour of recycled aggregate concrete.  She’s sitting on his lap, both of her legs draped over his right thigh as she holds up her textbook under her nose with a bright yellow highlighter in her hand.

 

She shifts every so often when her sitz bones press a little too hard into the thick muscle of his thighs, and he gives off a little grunt every time.  Although he said he’d keep his hands to himself, his right arm is wrapped loosely around her waist holding her in place, casually possessive. She appreciates that because she’s using his right forearm as a bookstand.

 

He gives off a ridiculous amount of heat and Rey feels toasty warm in his lap.  She can feel his breath periodically as he exhales on her neck and she can smell his woodsy scent, her senses completely surrounded by him as she reads her book.  She tries to focus on the words as she absentmindedly rubs the cap of her highlighter back and forth on her lower lip.

 

“Can you stop doing that, please?” he says very quietly.

 

Rey peeks up at him and is met with half-lidded eyes.  “Stop doing what?” she says quizzically.

 

“That. With the pen. And your lip. It’s _very_ distracting,” he stares at her for a moment to punctuate his words, then lowers his gaze back to his paper.  He squeezes her around the waist and when he shifts his thighs a little, Rey feels him start to press up against her in a different way.  

 

She returns to her book.  She shifts a little in his lap, purposely rocking her hips a little.  After a few moments she says, “What, you mean this?” and rubs the highlighter back and forth on her open lip, dragging it slowly for effect.

 

He stares at her, his look a warning.  But she feels a twitch below in his lap and she sees his nostrils slightly flare.  “Yes, precisely that.”

 

Rey says brightly, “Okay,” and turns back to her book.  She highlights another passage and then lifts the marker up almost to her mouth.  She sees him watching her from her periphery so she holds it a few inches away, the pen absolutely still, teasing him now.   

 

When he turns away from her to read again, she says, “then you definitely don’t want me to do this, right?” and Rey sticks out her pink tongue and gives the longest, dirtiest lick to a highlighter in the history of man.

 

“That’s IT!” he says, closing his laptop and putting it on the coffee table, grabbing her around the waist with both arms as he hugs her and tickles her, dipping his head forward to wrap around her back as Rey struggles and laughs, kicking her legs and saying, “You promised!  You promised hands to yourself!”

 

He says dramatically, “You have broken the terms of our unspoken agreement.” He squeezes and tickles her as she is laughing and flailing and then he pushes her back to lay down on the couch as he folds his body on top of her, trapping her in place.

 

“Not fair, you brute, I have to study!” Rey cries out, laughing and panting.

 

“You are a cruel, cruel woman and you will now pay for your crimes,” he says in a sinister voice, with mirth in his eyes.  He lifts both her arms up above her head and grabs them in his left hand as she resists just for show. His right hand holds her at her waist as he says, “choose your punishment.  Slow torture or a spank.”

 

“You wouldn’t!” Rey’s eyes are wide, but she licks her lips in anticipation.

 

“I would,” Kylo nods and smiles at her with a look that could melt ice into water.

 

Her breath starts to quicken and her voice rasps as she says in a low voice, “What torture?” her voice nearly desperate with curiosity.  

 

Kylo leans down achingly slowly, as if he’s going to whisper a secret in her ear, and says, “This.”  Then he tickles her neck with the whiskers on his chin as Rey screams and writhes below him.

 

“Oh, stop, stop, nooo!” she laughs, trying to wriggle free.  His response is “other side, for balance,” nuzzles back in and tickles the hell out of her neck.

 

“Aaaahhhhh!” she is moving so much he presses her down into the couch with his bulk to hold her in place as he continues rubbing into her.  

 

He pulls up and she catches her breath, tears forming in her eyes from all the laughing.  He smiles at her, “Are you contrite yet? Ready to apologize?”

 

She juts her chin out at him, eyes narrowing, and spits out, “NEVER!” with a grin.

 

“Then here we go,” still holding both of her hands above her head with his left hand, he reaches his right hand to slowly lift up her shirt and reveal her her toned, flat belly to him.

 

“You wouldn’t,” she says shocked, gasping.

 

“Oh, I would,” he grins and then bends down to place a loving, sweet kiss right on her navel.  Holding his head just inches from her stomach he breathes out a long, hot breath that causes goosebumps to rise instantly.  He looks up with dark eyes to meet hers and says, “apologize, sweetheart, don’t make me do this.” She holds absolutely still, eyes burning, and as her lips part she slowly shakes her head side to side.  “No.”

 

So he swoops down and mercilessly tickles her with his chin, nuzzling into the sensitive, soft skin of her belly, just above her hips and waist, as she throws back her head and screams and laughs, tears rolling down her face at the terrible, sweet torture.

 

When he finally takes pity on her and pulls up, she looks so debauched by her laughter that he has to kiss her stomach in penance.  He releases her hands and she lowers them to his head, fingers twining in raven locks as his kisses turn to love bites and sucks, and she reflexively flinches periodically from her oversensitized skin.

 

She gives his head a firm yank to pull his gaze up to hers as she says seriously, “I was promised a spank.”  She quirks an eyebrow up at him.

 

With a flash he is up to standing as he bends down and scoops her up, one arm under her knees and the other behind her back, and lifts her into his bedroom.  She wraps her arm around his neck and leans in for a kiss, slowing down to really taste him.

 

She is at home in this bed, at home with his body, memorizing his feel, his taste, his touch.

 

He makes her come twice that night, and every time with him is better.  Once as he’s tasting her from behind, her bent forward in child’s pose, as he adds a small slap every so often as she quivers under his touch.  The other as he stands behind her, wrapping big hands around her small waist to hold her perfectly still as he thrusts into her telling her she’s so beautiful, she’s the hottest thing he’s ever seen, how he wants her more every day, how he can’t get enough of her.

 

As he leans down over her on the bed and she presses her palms down to arch up against him like a cat, he comes deep inside and whispers, “I love you.”

 

Rey falls into the mattress under him and curls his arm into her chest, above her heart, as she kisses the back of his hand, panting.  

 

She doesn’t say it back.

 


	11. Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The name of this chapter is "Work," and boy was it ever! Evidently my brain likes writing dirrrrty smut a lot more than angst for these two birdies. Ah, but the road to love is paved with some work, isn't it?
> 
> Sorry for the delay, my plan is to wrap this baby up in the next month or so.
> 
> Special thanks to @strawberrycupcakehuckleberrypie for talking me down off the ledge.
> 
> Oh, and I have another fic getting started if it is up your alley: steer from the passenger side. Desert noir with a healthy dose of steaming sweaty longing. Read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14991710/chapters/34746017

Kylo can’t pinpoint the moment when he first knows he loves her.  The realization is so powerful it colors over every thought of her, like spilled red wine seeping across a white tablecloth, reaching backwards and forward through time.  Now it seems like he has always loved her, even from the first time he saw her walk into the bar with the light, and always will, a strand woven together now with his memories and his hopes.  

 

_When he starts to tickle her, does he know he loves her then?  Does he know he’ll tell her?_

 

She pulls out of him a playfulness he didn’t know he had.  Being with her is effortless. He hasn’t laughed this much in years, the sound alien to his own ears.  Her sharp wit as exciting to him as his hands on her body, and her full-throated laughter the greatest turn-on as she flashes that brilliant smile at him and makes him feel light as air.

 

Then she is laid out before him like a feast, this beautiful woman whose body he knows now nearly as well as his own, but cherishes infinitely more.  On his bed with her toes touching, knees apart, her round, heart-shaped ass presented to him like a gift. Giving him something as precious as her body, her trust.  Trust that he will make her feel good. That he won’t hurt her. Trust that she can give in to him and lose herself with his touch.

 

_Does he know it now?  Does he know what he’s about to say?_

 

He holds her as he tastes her, sweet and salty, her flavor settling in the back of his throat and making him even hungrier.  He works her up to whimpering, adding in a slap now and then like she wants, and he feels her quiver in his mouth. Her body responding to him and telling him truths that her words cannot yet.  The sounds she makes are guttural but he understands.

 

As he presses inside, holding her perfectly still with his wide hands wrapped around her small waist, thumbs nearly touching, he starts to praise her.  “So beautiful, baby. God, you’re the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” He is pumping into her in earnest now as she whines under his touch, pushing him almost to the edge already.  “I want you more every day.”

 

He leans down to place his arms on either side of her to whisper in her ear a secret, “I can’t get enough of you.”  She curls up against his chest like a cat and takes everything he has to give. He is pushing into her faster and faster and suddenly it is there before him.

 

Like a flash of light, the truth is so sharp and clear, as tangible as her hot skin underneath him as he pushes them both over the edge.  

 

_He knows.  There is only her for him, only ever was her, and he feels it in his bones.  And he must tell her._

 

 _“I love you,”_ he says as he thrusts into her body, so welcoming and cherished, loving and beloved, the only true home he has now, and he releases into her with a sigh.  They collapse panting onto the bed and she pulls his hand up to her chest as he curls around her, sheltering her.

 

She says nothing.  They catch their breaths together in the silence.  

 

As she curls up in his arms and her breathing slows, his eyelids grow heavy.  He tries not to hear the echo of his own words hang in the room over them. A statement of truth but also a question that she didn’t answer.

 

He drifts off to sleep as he tries not to think of what her silence may mean.

 

\---------------------------------------

 

In the morning Kylo wakes as Rey is drying her hair.  He rolls over and grabs his phone to check the time, not even 7 am yet, as he wipes his groggy eyes.  He notices he already has three emails from Hux and turns his phone over on the nightstand so he doesn’t have to see them.

 

He rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling, arms extended wide at his sides like a role play of the crucifixion.  He lays perfectly still as he listens to her shuffling around in the bathroom, muted sounds.

 

His mind is replaying his words from last night on an endless loop.  He wills it to stop, but he thinks the silence may be worse. He tries to not let her silence hurt him.  He opened up to her, gave her his heart, and she said nothing. Not even a thank you. Not even, “I know.”  Just silence.

 

_Maybe I’m making too much of this.  Maybe everything is fine. Maybe she just needs more time._

 

He hears the door open and his body is motionless as he turns his gaze to her just in time to catch her quick flash of surprise.  His stomach clenches.

 

“Oh, you’re up.  I was trying to let you sleep,” she says quietly with a small smile.  He says nothing, still as a stone. The moment turns awkward. He feels a stab of fear shoot through him like an arrow.

 

_Were you trying to sneak out?  Like the first night?_

 

He blinks.  He doesn’t want to ask her.  The fear courses through him and his darkness and anger rises in response, his learned response to pain.  Then he can’t keep the words inside. “Were you leaving?” he asks her plainly, eyes pinning her down.

 

Rey looks at him, abashed.  “Yeah, I have to cram for the quiz.  It’s a busy day . . .” She trails off as she looks to the side and won’t meet his eyes directly.  That hurts him more than anything else.

 

“Were you going to say goodbye?” He tries to ask her simply, with a veneer of coldness, but there’s a sharpness to his tone and he knows his traitorous eyes reveal too much.  He sees her face crinkle in worry.

 

He abruptly breaks eye contact to stare at the ceiling again, not wanting to see her lie to his face, or worse, a cruel honesty.  He lays there frozen, like a criminal accepting his judgment, resigned to his fate with his arms opened wide.

 

He feels the bed move as she crawls up to him, her palm pressing on his chest.  “Hey,” she says softly. When he doesn’t move, she gently takes her right hand and cups his cheek, using the touch to turn his head and draw his gaze back to her eyes, _“Hey.”_

 

He looks at her finally, trying to hide his wounds.  Her hazel eyes study him. He sees her eyes grow warm, a look that triggers a distant memory, maybe something he saw in his mother’s eyes long ago.  An alien emotion he hasn’t felt in years. _Compassion._  

 

As Rey looks down on him, she’s his golden angel once again with the morning sunlight draping around her head and shoulders.  She’s lit up like the night in the car when he called her, desperate.  When she insisted he come and get her, and he drove over to stage his own rescue.  “I wasn’t going to just leave you,” she nearly whispers.

 

She draws down to him and presses her forehead against his.  He closes his eyes and exhales, long and deep. She lifts her chin and presses her warm lips to his one cheek, and then the other.  Dipping down finally to reach for his mouth as he surrenders to whatever she will give him, a soft kiss as an olive branch.

 

She pulls up.  “I’ll call you later, okay?”  He looks at her and nods, lips pressed together to savor the kiss.  She lifts her eyebrows, “You’ll answer if I call?” He smiles slightly at his line being used back on him, and nods again.  She dips down for another quick kiss, and then hops up to grab her backpack. A final smile thrown over her shoulder as she walks out his door.

 

Kylo lays still for a quite some time, the only sound his phone vibrating on the table with each new message.  The darkness has receded, making space for an aching emptiness. He finally peels himself up out of bed and makes his way into the shower, turns the water on the hottest setting he can take, and pretends it doesn’t hurt him to wash the smell of her off his skin.   

 

\--------------------------------

 

With less than a month until the gala, work is in full-on hell mode.  It is a relief to Kylo that he can be as miserable as he wants there and no one will notice any difference.

 

The latest blueprints have been scrapped, again, with Snoke’s demands for something more impressive, more innovative to show the foreign investors.  He wants something that “no one will ever forget,” something “new to the entire fucking galaxy,” as if creativity can be ordered up via threat. Snoke is riding everyone hard, Hux receiving daily screaming phone calls that filter out through his glass office into the hall, and somehow Snoke even made Phasma cry, which is unheard of, that woman is made out of steel.  The mood that permeates the office is one of doom, which suits Kylo perfectly today.

 

Kylo has done his best to temper the beast.  He tried to reason with Snoke, defend the work and his vision, but after being smacked down repeatedly he gives up.  He holes up in his office with the door closed, rocking slowly side to side in his Aeron chair with his fingers tented before him, willing inspiration to come.

 

He thinks about Rey, his usual source of light, and it stings.  So he turns his mind back to the work, the deadness inside an escape.  Focuses on the meetings, calls, blueprints. Orders lunch in so he doesn’t have to leave.  

 

Rey calls him late that afternoon.  He sees her name on his phone, but he doesn’t pick up.  Maybe he’s still sulking, giving her back a silence of his own.  Or maybe he just doesn’t trust what he will say. Everyone leaves for the night but Kylo stays, alone.  He orders dinner in, too.

 

He misses two of her calls after midnight and then turns his phone to silent.  She’s probably at Starkiller with her friends. He doesn’t want to hear her happy without him right now, surrounded by people while he sits alone.

 

 _I wonder who bought the first round?  Is she laughing? Is she dancing?_ He remembers the guy who stepped between them on the dance floor and shuts his mind off completely.  He prefers the numbness.

 

He’s holed up in his office, take-out boxes littered on his desk, continually drawing out plans and then trashing them.  Spinning his wheels. He runs fingers through his hair in frustration, finally driving home at almost 3 am to his empty condo, having made no progress at all and feeling no better off than when he left it early that morning.

 

\-------------------------------------------

 

He sleeps in the Saturday and sees a text from Rey, sent an hour ago.

 

_I tried calling last night._

 

He types out from bed, _I was at work late.  Sorry I missed your calls._

 

She instantly replies,   _Are you really?  Sorry?_

 

Kylo grunts.  She’s turning around his words from their first coffee date.  He should text some clever response, but he hates texting with his big fingers, so dials her instead and she picks up immediately.

 

“I am sorry that I had to stay in my goddamn office until the early hours while you partied your hot little ass off last night, yes,” he’s trying to come off as casual, teasing, but there’s a hint of bitterness in his tone.

 

“Actually, I didn’t party my hot little ass off.  This hot little ass went home at about eleven and was in bed when I called you.  But go off I guess!” she’s giving it back to him, but there’s an edge in her voice, too.  

 

Kylo feels immediately remorseful.  “I wish I could’ve been with you,” he says softly.  It has only been one full day and he already misses her desperately.  

 

She accepts his non-apology by softening her voice, “Yeah, me too.  I won the first round. I guess your study techniques were somewhat sound.”  

 

He smiles at that, feeling smug.  

 

“What are you doing today?  Come pick me up?” she asks, voice hopeful.

 

He sighs and rubs his eyes.  “I can’t. I have to be in the office this weekend.  Snoke’s back in town from China this week and if we don’t have something amazing to show him by Monday, it will be a bloodbath.”

 

“Can I come see you there then?  A study break?” she asks.

 

He closes his eyes.  He wants nothing more than to see her, touch her.  But he doesn’t want her anywhere near the First Order building.

 

“No, I’ve just gotta get through this.  I appreciate it, I do, but no.”

 

“Well, okay.”  She sounds hurt.  She takes a deep breath in, “I miss you already.”

 

He presses his mouth tightly closed but the words slip out anyway, “I miss you, too.  I’ll call you later.”

 

He hangs up and walks into his kitchen.  He picks up a bottled water but instead of opening it, throws it forcefully across the room shattering it against the wall.  One more mess he’s made.

 

\---------------------------

 

He spends all weekend in the office.  Drawing, trashing, re-drawing. At least he is alone, a small comfort for being encased in blackness for days and away from Rey.  At least he doesn’t have to share the misery with anyone else. He drowns himself in the work.

 

The office is silent and dark.  It is familiar and he slips back into it like a worn glove.  Maybe this is all he’s made for, this. Being alone in the silence.  

 

He doesn’t call her.  What can he say? What would she want to hear from him?  He pours his energy into his designs.

 

He’s come up with with something that may work by late Sunday afternoon.  A draft from one of his journal entries, a public housing design utilizing recyclable concrete and energy neutral.  Sharp angles and sweeping slopes. It may be enough for Snoke, it is unusual and risky. He just needs to finalize the blueprints before the staff meeting, which is possible because _who needs sleep, anyway?_

 

\---------------------------

 

Rey texts him Monday morning.   _Hey, lunch break?  I can meet you?_

 

_Thanks, sweetheart.  Can’t. Staff meeting soon.  Call you later_

 

He’s putting on the finishing touches at noon when he hears his office door open.  He looks up and there is Rey, smiling shyly and holding up a bag in each hand. “You’ve been working hard.  So I came to you.”

 

He sits up straight in surprise.  His shock turns to relief, a tension releasing.  He walks over to her and puts his hands on her shoulders.  “So sweet, Rey, but you shouldn’t have.”

 

Her smile wavers, but as he leans down to kiss her it brightens.  He feels her shoulders relax under his hands, she was nervous. “Let me pay you back for lunch, you don’t need to buy me stuff,” he says.  She says “Pshaw, I think I can swing kabobs, Kylo.”

 

He takes the bags from her hands and leads her to a small table by the window in his office.  She looks around, awestruck. “Corner office? You must be big news or something.” Kylo shrugs.  “Snoke likes me close by to keep tabs on me.”

 

They sit down to eat.  She’s close enough to him that he puts a hand on her thigh and gives her a squeeze.  She looks up at him with a mouthful of food and grins, scrunching up her face. She is adorable.  Everything feels almost right again.

 

“Ren, when you have the latest blueprints . . .”  Hux walks in on them mid-sentence and halts in his tracks.  He takes in the scene, eyes drawing down to Kylo’s hand on her thigh, and for some reason Kylo removes it and puts it behind her chair protectively.  Hux’s eyes narrow as a corner of his mouth draws up, a crude mimicry of a smile.

 

“Well, hello again.  Rey, is it? I’m Armitage Hux.  We haven’t been properly introduced.”  Hux walks to her with a hand outstretched and Rey reaches for a napkin to dry of her palm.  She doesn’t stand as she grasps his hand, firm in her hand. “I’m Rey. How do you do?”

 

Kylo looks down and smiles to himself at her formal greeting, which also conveniently leaves out any mention of being happy to meet Hux.

 

“Nice to meet you.  You’ve caught us at a busy time.  As you know, we’re preparing for the gala in a few weeks time.  Our biggest event of the year, with seven major investors and the news media in attendance.  And we are of course thrilled that you will be able to attend.”

 

Rey’s eyes widen and her eyes flick to Kylo.   _Shit, shit,_ he thinks.  He continues to look down, scowling, and feels Hux’s eyes on him.  He looks up to see the redhead grinning. “Or didn’t Kylo invite you yet?  Allow me. We would be delighted for you to attend and sit with Mr. Snoke at the head table.  It is quite an honor. Dress is formal, black tie, of course.”

 

Rey swallows and her cheeks flush as Kylo says, “Thank you, Armitage.  I’ll give you a call when we finish up here.” His look is a warning and Hux takes it.  “Very well then,” as he turns to walk out the door he calls out over his shoulder, “See you again soon, Rey.”

 

They sit silently for a minute, a stalemate.  Rey turns to him but Kylo says nothing and looks down.  Rey moves to stand up but he shoots out his hand to grab her wrist and still her.  “Wait a minute.”

 

She looks at him, biting her bottom lip, and freezes.  His hands slides down to hold onto hers and guide her to sit down.  She finally presses out in a tight voice, “What’s going on, Kylo? You’ve been acting strange.”

 

“I’m sorry.  I’ve been caught up in all this work bullshit,” he swallows hard.  He doesn’t want to talk about the other night and how he is still hurt.  He doesn’t want to go into all this right now, especially not here. “I didn’t invite you to the gala because I didn’t think you’d want you to go.  And I didn’t want you to.” Rey looks down, blinking fast.

 

“Rey, I hate this place.  I hate these people. I didn’t want you to be around them.  I didn’t want to expose you to them.”

 

She looks up at him, her eyes wet.  “Or maybe you’re ashamed to be seen with me.  I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here.” As she stands up and grabs her bag he walks around the desk to cut her off, holding her by the shoulders again gently to stop her and have her face him.

 

“That’s not true.  You can’t think that is true,” he shakes his head and bends down to her level.  “Look at me. I would never be ashamed of you. I . . .” he stops himself before he says it, pours his energy into his eyes instead, willing her to see that he’s telling her the truth.  “You have to believe me.”

 

Rey looks at him, lip quivering.  She looks down. “I want to believe you.  I do.”

 

Kylo draws her into his chest and wraps his arms around her back, folding her in.  Using his body instead of his words to tell her how important she is to him. He feels her hands slowly snake around his waist and her fists unclench as her palms press into his back.  He leans down and kisses the top of her head.

 

“I have to get through this meeting today.  What are you doing tomorrow?”

 

Rey thinks, “I’m on a worksite all day tomorrow for lab.  But I’m free after 4 pm.”

 

“Okay, I’ll pick you up.  We can get dinner, okay?” he smiles at her.  She returns a smile back and nods.

 

Kylo leans in and this time he places a palm on her hip and the other on her cheek and kisses her like he means it.  Long and sweet, his tongue wrapping with hers. He pulls away reluctantly.

 

He watches her walk away from him and returns his focus to the work and to thinking up creative ways to make Hux squirm.

 

\--------------------------------

 

Kylo texts Rey when he’s five minutes away.  He pulls up to the corner of the worksite and then idles the car.

 

It’s a new construction high rise in the city, retail on the bottom level and apartments up above.  Traditional, cookie cutter, boring. Kylo looks around and then spots Rey walking to him a block away.  

 

She’s wearing a yellow hard hat, an orange vest, and the shortest skirt he’s ever seen.  Her Doc Marten boots adding an edge and emphasizing the length of long, tan, smooth leg rising up above them.  She’s looks both adorable and absolutely fuckable at the same time and the contrast has his head spinning.

 

He’s not the only one.  As she walks past a group of construction workers, they all turn to stare.  Kylo feels a flash of fire rise up as he sees them ogle her. One whistles and another calls out to her as she ignores them and keeps walking toward his car.  He has to choke back his anger at the men as she opens the car door.

 

“Hi, babe,” she says lightly as she gets in and turns to him, bright smile in place.  

 

“Want me to say something to those assholes?” he says darkly.

 

“Who?” Rey is confused then turns to see what he’s looking at.  “Oh, those guys? Please, they’re harmless.”

 

“They’re looking you up and down like fucking wolves.”

 

Rey laughs, “Welcome to being a woman in the construction industry.  We have thick skin, this is nothing new.”

 

Surprisingly this does not make him feel any better.  

 

They go by his place first so he can change clothes.  She’s sitting on a barstool reading her phone, her long legs wrapped like a pretzel.  He walks out of his bedroom buttoning up his shirt and takes in her long, lean legs. His heart squeezes in his chest just looking at her, and he feels a flash of possessiveness and jealousy.  He’s still obsessing about those guys gaping at her.

 

“Maybe don’t wear a skirt like that on site any more,” he says casually.

 

Rey looks up from her phone and blinks before turning to him, looking astonished. “Seriously?”

 

“If they are going to look at you like a piece of meat, then yeah.  Or maybe your site supervisor or Luke should say something to-”

 

Rey laughs incredulously at him.  “Do you even know what it’s like on a worksite, Kylo?  When is the last time you’ve actually been to one? I could wear a garbage bag and guys would say shit.  You’ve got to get your head out of your blueprints and into the real world.”

 

His temper starts to rise.  “That may be true, but you are just _inviting_ them to ogle you when you wear-”

 

Rey’s temper snaps back at him, her patience gone and voice rising.  “I can wear whatever the fuck I want! You think I give two shits what those guys say?  I’m not some delicate flower, Kylo. You don’t need to protect me.”

 

“Oh, _excuse me_ for being disgusted by those assholes!  For wanting to make sure they treat you with fucking respect!”  It feels good to get the anger out, if not at her then at them.

 

“But I don’t need you to do that.  I can take care of myself. I have my whole damn life.”  She is glowering at him.

 

“Yeah, you’re right, you don’t need me to do that.  I’m wondering actually if you need me at all,” he says it almost under his breath and then turns his back to her and walks back into his bedroom.  He hears her follow him in.

 

“What is that supposed to mean?!  Huh? What are you trying to say?”  She stomps up to him.

 

“I don’t know, Rey.  I don’t know. What do you think?”  He turns and glares at her.

 

“It’s really rich to say I don’t need you, when you’re the one who’s been ghosting on me!” She is spitting mad now.

 

“I don’t even know what that fucking means, Rey.”  He presses his lips together and shakes his head at her.

 

“It means you went from practically _begging_ me to come over daily to not calling me for a whole weekend.  Out of the blue. Just because I didn’t . . .” she stops herself, panting.

 

“What?”  His eyebrows perk up at her as he puts his hands on his hips and bites his bottom lip, leaning over her.  “You didn’t what? Say it, Rey.”

 

“Because I didn’t say it back to you.”  She folds her arms over her chest. Quiet and angry.  “And that isn’t fair!”

 

He is panting mad as his voice rises, “I don’t know what’s fair. I don’t,” he shakes his head at her, and dives in.  “Is it fair that I told you that I loved you and you said nothing? Is that fair?”

 

“You said you loved me when you came.  I’m not sure that even counts!” she yells it at him.

 

He is dumbstruck.  “Do . . . huh, wow!  Do you think that is just a thing that I say?!  That it just comes out? Because let me clear that up for you.  NO. No, that is not just a thing that comes out of my mouth when I blow a load!”

 

They stare at each other for a moment in stalemate, chests heaving.  And then Rey bursts out laughing. Kylo is panting he is so mad, but he’s not even sure at who or what now.  And despite himself, he huffs out a couple of laughs as Rey folds over in laughter.

 

Rey wipes her eyes and looks at him.  She walks up and wraps her hands around his waist and presses her forehead into his chest.

 

“I wore this skirt for you, asshole.  Because we’re going to dinner, and I wanted to look good for you.  So I don’t care if other guys look. They don’t get to touch. Just you.”  

 

He exhales deeply and wraps his arms around her to hug her in tighter, putting his chin down on her head.  His temper dies down immediately, comforted by her words.  She wants only him.

 

Her voice is so small he has to strain to hear it, even as her hands squeeze his waist tightly.  “It's just. This isn’t easy for me, okay?  It’s moving so fast.  And when you talk about the future and plans . . .  I just feel scared. Because if I start to count on it and it doesn’t happen . . .” so quiet now, her voice almost disappears entirely.  “It’s going to kill me.”

 

He pulls back and uses a finger to tilt her chin up to him.  He takes her face in between his palms and rubs her cheeks gently with his thumbs before bending down to meet her lips, kissing her slow and deep.  

He pulls away and is going to say something, reassure her somehow, but she stops him with a shake of her head, her eyes wet.  “Can we just take it slow? Can we just try . . . being together? Get used to that?”  Her struggle is there on her face, how hard it is for her to ask for this.  He nods and pulls her back into his arms, stroking her back.  They stand holding each other, pieced together again.

 

“I suppose I can’t blame those guys.  You look smoking hot in this skirt. Especially with the hard hat.”  He reaches a hand down to her ass, then slides it up and under to cup her cheek, surprised to find nothing there to stop him from hitting skin.  His thumb finds the edge of her lacy thong and tweaks it. “I’m going to hang a ‘keep out’ sign on your ass if you’re not careful.”

 

She laughs and nuzzles into his chest.  Then smiles up at him, “how hungry are you?”

 

“Stomach hunger?” He asks, honestly.

 

She throws her head back and laughs, “Yes, food hunger.  Dinner!”

 

“I can wait,” he murmurs as he leans down to nibble on her neck and she laces fingers in his hair to hold him there.  Then Rey’s stomach growls and he groans. “But evidently you can’t.”

 

He digs deep for the strength to pull away from her and gives her a kiss on the forehead.  “I reserve the right to pick this up where we left off.  But let’s go get you fed.  Mexican?”  

 

As they drive off in his car, he slides his hand on her thigh and she covers his hand with hers.  They don’t speak, but this time it’s a comfortable silence. They’ve said all the words they’ve needed to tonight.

 


	12. Trophy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Spread your legs wider,” he says in a firm voice from behind her, his tone implying he’s used to being obeyed. He squeezes her ass in both hands and if Rey wasn’t already aching for him she might give him some resistance, or at least some sass. Instead she puts her forehead down on the cool concrete of the dining table as he slides her hips back to him and opens her thighs.
> 
> NSFW or Karate
> 
> Some plot-things happening. 
> 
> Get ready, the "into love" is happening and that means some plot with this smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out Kylo's photo of Rey in the car here: 
> 
> https://newerconstellations.tumblr.com/post/175652994750/stay-low-chapter-12-trophy-is-updating-soon
> 
> I've updated the tags to reflect that there's some plot things happening.
> 
> My goal is to wrap this story up this summer, if not by the end of July. We have about 5 more chapters or so to go, so hang on tight.
> 
> They'll include:
> 
> the Gala (of course)  
> Kylo in a tux  
> Hux being bad  
> Semi-public BJ  
> a dramatic profession of love  
> Rey's backstory  
> First Order stuff  
> HEA

“Spread your legs wider,” he says in a firm voice from behind her, his tone implying he’s used to being obeyed.  He squeezes her ass in both hands and if Rey wasn’t already aching for him she might give him some resistance, or at least some sass.  Instead she puts her forehead down on the cool concrete of the dining table as he slides her hips back to him and opens her thighs.

 

Rey never considered her calves erogenous zones, but as Kylo takes a long, curving lick with the flat plane of his tongue from the swell of her calf up past her knee, while his thumb traces a similar path on her other leg, she quivers under his touch.  Evidently Kylo Ren has turned her entire body into an erogenous zone.

 

He moves to the other leg, already jealous for his mouth, and plants wet kisses to her inner thigh moving up.  His hands slide to the outside of her thighs and fingers hook under the hem of her short skirt, lifting it up inch by inch to clear a path to her core until it is wrapped around her waist and she’s exposed to him entirely, goosebumps rising from the night air and anticipation.

 

Rey lays her palms flat on the cool concrete tabletop and arches back to meet him when he finds her wet and waiting.  The shock of his tongue sends a pulse straight to her pussy and she gasps. She knew when she didn’t wear anything under her short skirt, and then showed him so in the car, that this was going to happen.  She just expected to make it to the bedroom first.

 

“God, you’re so wet,” he says as he pulls back from her.  “Delicious.”

 

A thrill goes up her spine.  She’s been worked up since late afternoon thinking of him and his mouth.  The contrast of the cold concrete on her hard nipples and his mouth sucking and swirling feels amazing and she turns her cheek to lay flat on the table.  She can see a hazy reflection of him kneeling behind her in the plate glass window and she can’t pull her eyes away.

 

His mouth makes her feel like she’s floating and she surrenders to the sensation, closing her eyes.  She lifts her heels to tilt her hips forward and make more room for him as he’s kneading her ass in his hands.  She lets out a haggard moan, he’s put her on the edge already.

 

He sucks on her tight bud and the intense pressure causes her thighs to shake.  He pulls back and replaces his lips with his fingers, drawing tight circles, as he presses wet kisses onto her thighs and cheeks.

 

“I could eat you all day, you’re perfect.”

 

He stops kissing her and she can feel his breath on her skin but he’s quiet as his fingers work.  She turns her head to try to see him, but he’s hidden from view, and she sees in the window he’s just pulled back looking at her.  She reaches fingers back to feel for his hair and at her touch he begins to kiss her again.

 

She thinks she hears him say “beautiful,” under his breath, but the thought is lost as he presses two fingers inside her and she keens.   

 

His left hand presses down on the table by her hip and he rises up behind her while his fingers press in and curl.  She tilts her ass back to him and starts rocking in time with his thrusts, a little “ _oh_ ” leaving her lips at every push in.  “Goddamn, you’re so hot,” he says in a near whisper and she whines, low and rough.

 

She hears a rustling sound as his pants fall to the ground.  His fingers pull out with a wet sound and then the tip of his cock presses inside and Rey has to put her forehead down on the table so she can arch back sharply to meet him.

 

His hands wrap around her waist, drawing her back to him and protecting her hip bones from the table top, and he moves her where he wants her.  After a few slow thrusts, he picks up the pace and she has to push down on her forearms just to stay in place.

 

He’s pulling her back to him hard and the wine glasses and plates on the table start to shake in rhythm to his thrusts. _Clink, rattle.  Clink, rattle. Clink, rattle._

 

Rey’s breath is starting to catch and she’s lifting higher when she says, “more, _more_.”  He grunts and slams his hips into her and there’s a loud crash as the wine glasses pitch over and shatter on the table and floor.  They freeze, surprised.

 

“Oh, shit, sorry,” she mutters as she stretches up to look.

 

“Fuck it,” he says and pulls out, drawing her up to standing.  She has a brief glimpse of his hungry expression before he bends down to scoop her up and lay her over his shoulder, arms wrapped tight under her ass and her skirt hitched up around her waist, and he very nearly runs them to the bedroom.

 

She braces herself with hands on his low back and from her perch looks down at his bare ass and black socks as he runs.  She laughs, loud and wild.

 

He tosses her down on the bed and then crawls up between her legs.  She’s still laughing as he starts to kiss her neck ardently in comedic fashion and she squirms away from his whiskers, ticklish.  He slows down and gives her a love bite and she looks up at the ceiling as she weaves fingers in his hair. She’s smiling at nothing at all and everything at the same time.  This feeling is so new and precious, she wants to bottle it.

 

He pulls up to catch her eyes as he enters her again slowly, deeply.  He cages her in with forearms besides her head and fingers tangling in her hair.  They stare at each other as he fucks her like he means it, lips parted and hot breaths mingling.  She cups his cheek in her palm and snakes the other down to circle her clit while her heels dig into the back of his thighs to pull him in closer.

 

He starts pumping his hips faster, inching them across the mattress, and she is squeezing in on him tight as her climax builds.  She’s panting and her thumb brushes down to play at his lower lip. He pushes deeper and deeper and the pressure rises until she thinks she’s going to burst, explode in his arms like a firecracker on the fourth of July, all light and celebration at his touch.

 

She throws her head back and presses her eyes closed and says “Oh, Kylo, _baby_ ” and it ends in a long whine as she ignites in his arms, trembling.  He comes right behind her, stilling mid thrust, hitched breaths. They fall down together, ashes on the bed, sated and spent.

 

He rolls over onto his back and pulls her to slot under his arm, breathing hard.  She curls in comfortably like she belongs there, another part of him now.

 

They lay quietly as she draws lazy figure eights on his chest with her index finger, coming down from the high.  

 

He’s the first to break the silence.  “The gala’s in two weeks. Friday night.”

 

She makes an affirmative grunt.  Kylo’s been preoccupied and working around the clock, she knows all about the gala.

 

“I know what I said before.  About not wanting you around those assholes.  But . . . it’s going to be a good party, lots of food and booze, dancing.”  He pauses. “Do you want to go with me?”

 

Rey feels a tingle of nerves and her hand stills on his chest.  She leans up on one elbow to look at him and sees a glint of hope in his eyes.

 

“Are you sure?  I know it’s an important night for you . . .”

 

“That’s why I want you there,” he says plainly.

 

“I wouldn’t want to do anything wrong, or mess it up for you.  I’ve never been to a formal party before,” she says in a small voice.

 

“Rey, I understand if you don’t want to go, you can just tell-”

 

She cuts him off, “It’s not that.”

 

“Then don’t worry. _Please._  You won’t embarrass me.  You can’t do anything wrong.”

 

She nods but bites her lip

 

“I would really love it if you come with me.  I want you there.” His words make her lift her chin back up to face him.  The tenderness in his dark brown eyes, just for her, makes her want to cry.

 

“Okay.  I’d love to go.”  She smiles shyly back at him, swallowing the lump in her throat.

 

He pulls her up to his mouth for a kiss.

 

“And I’m going to ask you on a date, too,” she says.

 

He raises an eyebrow.  “You are, huh?”

 

She nods at him.  “I just found out I have a plus one at the awards banquet.  So free food and you get to watch me look cute and hand out awards.”  She grins at him.

 

Kylo smiles.  “Are you sure you want me there, around Luke?”

 

“Of course.  You’re both adults.  I expect you’ll be on your good behavior.  Plus . . .” She lays her head back on his shoulder and wraps her body around him tightly.  “They’ll all have to get used to it because we’re kind of a thing now.”

 

She feels his chest rise and lower beneath her cheek as he exhales and wraps her in closer, his chin fitting perfectly on the top of her head.

 

\----------------------------

 

“Rey, hold up!”

 

She turns around to see Rose running after her up the stairs of the civil engineering building.

 

“Hey Rosie!” Rey says, giving her a hug.

 

“I haven’t seen you in forever!  Things must be hot and heavy with Mr. Genius Grant, huh?”

 

Rey gives her a look as they walk lock-step into the building.  “Come on, you know his name’s Kylo. But yeah, things are great.”  She grins.

 

Rose tilts her head and studies her.  “You’re literally beaming. I’ve never seen you smile like that about a guy in the three years I’ve known you.”  Rose leans in closer, mischievous twinkle in her eye. “He must be a fantastic lay.”

 

Rey nudges Rose with her shoulder, “Um, yeah!  But it’s more. He’s . . . really funny, and smart, and actually very caring.  Sweet even, underneath.”

 

Rose looks at her gently.  “Girl, you’re a goner. You really like him, don’t you?”

 

“I do, I really do.”  Rey looks back at her friend and scrunches up her nose.

 

“He’s coming tomorrow to the awards dinner, right?  You’ll sit with me and Finn?”

 

Rey turns to her, surprised.  “You and Finn? Like friends? Or, more than?”

 

“A lot has happened since you’ve been off with Mr. Big Deal.  Finn and I were working on this project together and spent a lot of time one-on-one, and it just sort of happened.  Let’s just say we’re giving it a test run.” Rose smiles back, elated.

 

Rey throws her head back, “Ahh.  That is so awesome! Okay, yes, Kylo’s coming.  Let’s sit together and go out after.”

 

“Cool,” Rose says, as they start to walk into their class together.

 

A gravelly voice calls out behind the girls.  “Rey, can I have a word with you for a minute?”

 

Rey freezes and turns to see Professor Skywalker behind her, a stern smile pulled tight.  “Sure, Dr. Skywalker.” She feels a chill come over when she realizes what this is about. She tells Rose, “save my seat,” and follows him out into the hallway and into his office.

 

Rey smiles nervously as she sits down across from him, hands in her lap.  “Yes, Professor?”

 

“Rey, I got your email.  And I understand that you are interested in changing your focus.  But after three years in the program, I really want to understand _why_ first.”

 

She takes a big breath, fidgeting in her seat.  “Well, I feel like I’ve grown a lot since I’ve been here.  And although I declared water resources, I just think I’ve moved beyond that.  I don’t want to be limited to just one area.”

 

Luke nods.  “That’s a common feeling as you complete your degree.  Many students go through a period of doubt. But you’ve progressed so far down this path, and I would hate to see you lose ground.  In terms of your scholarship, I’m afraid a change like this could put it in jeopardy, at least the New Mexico funding.”

 

Rey’s stomach clenches.  “I see.”

 

“It would certainly delay your graduation to change verticals.  Not impossible to do, and I could help you seek other scholarships, but I want to make sure you’ve really thought through all the ramifications of this change.”

 

Rey nods uncomfortably as Luke continues.

 

“I also want to ask, and not to be to presumptuous or out of line here, if this is entirely your decision.”

 

Rey looks up at him sharply.  “What do you mean?”

 

Luke sighs as he looks down, rubbing his neck.  “I wouldn’t bring up your personal life normally.  But since this is my family involved, I feel like I can speak freely,” he looks at her directly.  “I know that you’ve been seeing my nephew.”

 

Rey’s face flushes.  “I don’t know what that has to do with this.”

 

“Rey, has he told you why he left the school?  What happened?” Luke says calmly.

 

“In general terms.  You and he didn’t see eye to eye.”

 

Luke snorts.  “Well, that’s one way to put it.  Another is that he actively undermined me, his own uncle, and tried to destroy my reputation and livelihood.  That he pulled apart my new program piece by piece from the inside and then walked away after burning it all down out of spite.”  

 

Rey’s jaw drops.  “I, I don’t know what to say.  That doesn’t sound like him at all.”

 

“There’s a lot about him you don’t know, evidently.”

 

Rey stiffens.  Her mind is racing like a bird caught in a net.  There’s an awkward pause, and Rey’s heartbeat pounds in her ears.

 

“I’m asking if this is your decision because I know him, and have known him all his life.  He can be very persuasive. He stole half of my students when he left, convincing them to join him.  That’s just what he does, he loves to be in control and if you disagree with him . . .” Luke shrugs.

 

Rey blinks in confusion.  She doesn’t want to believe him, but this is his own nephew he’s talking about.  What would it take for Skywalker to turn so sharply against family?

 

“Rey, think this change over.  Let’s meet next week and if you really want to move forward, I will help you.  But make sure it is what _you_ really want.”

 

She nods and leaves him, stunned.  

 

_How well does she really know Kylo Ren?_

 

\-----------------

 

Kylo works his jaw as he walks into the darkened conference room at the First Order Associates.  

 

Phasma, Mitaka and Hux already sit in a row of chairs facing a giant screen waiting for him.  As soon as Kylo sits down, Phasma types in a code and a ringing sound echoes throughout the room, disrupting the ominous quiet.

 

After five rings, the screen comes alive.  The image of Ken Snoke, draped in a golden silk robe adorned with dragons and sitting in a sunlit room across the world, fills the screen towering over them.  Projected at such a height, his image is both intimidating and repulsive, his red-lined eyes and wrinkles like crevasses displayed in nauseating high-definition.

 

“Good morning, sir, how is Beijing?”  Hux asks, obsequious as ever. Kylo fights the urge to vomit.  

 

“Besides air pollution so thick you could cut it with a knife, not too bad,” Snoke says testily.  “But then I didn’t set up a call at 6 am my time to give you a goddamn weather report, now did I?”

 

Hux’s smile falters.  “No, sir, of course not.”

 

“I called because my disappointment in your collective performance cannot be overstated.  I’ve been on travel for two weeks, lining up foreign investors, and I see that NO real progress has been made.”  Mitaka starts to tap his pen nervously on the pad in his lap as Phasma crosses and then uncrosses her legs, then tension in the room ratcheting up.  “Kylo? Where is he? Stand up, I can’t see you.”

 

Kylo rises slowly from his chair and walks up closer to the screen as Snoke leans in, his face alone now filling the screen with a scowl ten feet tall.

 

“What’s the latest progress on the design?  The last blueprint looks like a fucking kindergarten art project.  We’re two weeks out, and I have yet to see any quality results. I expected more from you, the supposed goddamn _genius._ ”  His voice drips in scorn.

 

Kylo sets his jaw.  “I sent you the latest blueprints last night.  A complete redesign. Once we get your approval, the 3-D model goes into production.  Digital models are already underway by Mitaka.”

 

“Good.  You’ll work every fucking minute to make sure it is perfect, absolutely perfect.  Don’t forget why you’re here, Ren. When you get up on that stage in two weeks, you represent the entire First Order.  Years of our work and planning coming into fruition in front of the press and our financiers. And I’ll be damned if that night is going to be ripped apart by laziness, ineptitude, or lack of commitment to achieving our goals.”

 

Kylo nods darkly.  He’s struggling to control his temper, hide his ire at being used by Snoke once again.

 

“Hux, send me the latest report on the PR and media plans and Phasma’s gala rundown.  I want the updated seating chart immediately.”

 

“Yes, sir,” Hux says, obediently.

 

“We’re two weeks away.  This is the biggest event of the year and will determine the next five years of work.  I have secured two Chinese backers who will be in attendance, worth a combined half a billion dollars.  Let me repeat, _half a fucking billion dollars,_ for future projects.  You will treat this event as if _your lives_ depended on it.  Am I absolutely clear?”

 

They nod affirmatively until Snoke squints at the screen and yells, “WHAT?!”

 

“Yes, sir!” they say in unison, Kylo swallowing his gall as he looks down.

 

“Good.  Now back to work.”

\---------------------------

 

“Hi, babe, I’m home and getting ready now to come pick you up.”  Kylo shucks off his jacket and balances the phone on his shoulder as he toes off his shoes.

 

On the other side of the line there’s quiet.  “Umm, you know, you don’t have to go tonight if you have work.”  There’s something off in her voice. Kylo freezes.

 

“No, I want to be there for you.  Is everything okay?”

 

“Yes, I just don’t want to force you to come if you’re busy.”  She pauses. “I also know that you and Luke have history. So maybe I shouldn’t have pushed you.”  She’s holding something back from him.

 

“It’ll be fine.  I’m not there for him.”  He walks to the bathroom.  “Did something happen, Rey?”

 

She sighs.  “No. Well, kind of.  I’ll tell you about it after.”

 

He grunts.  “Okay, let me grab a quick shower.  I’ll pick you up in thirty minutes. It will be fine, don’t worry.”

 

She makes an affirmative sound and he hangs up.  As he strips off his work clothes and steps into the shower, there’s something in her tone that nags at him.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

Kylo pulls up to Rey’s apartment.  He texts her XOXO and then looks up to see the blinds in her window on the third floor split apart and close.

 

He gets out and walks around to the passenger door to wait, leaning against his car while checking his phone.  Another text from Hux, will he ever escape that ginger rat?

 

The door to her apartment building slams shut and he looks up to see her.  Then he holds his breath.

 

Rey is a vision of light.

 

Her shoulder length brown hair is parted in the middle and curled loosely, waves just kissing her shoulders.  She’s wearing make-up, which is rare, eyelashes curled and lips painted in red around her beaming smile. A sleeveless pale blue sheath hugs her curves tightly, with two scallops at the hem that hits her mid-thigh.  Her stiletto heels click on the pavement as she makes a straight line to him. She’s so dazzling he has to hold up a hand to shade his eyes.

 

“You look amazing, baby,” he says reverently as she grins.  He leans in to kiss her neck, not wanting to mess up her lips.

 

After helping her gingerly step into the car, careful not to wrinkle her dress, he starts the engine and turns to her.  The sun pours in from the window behind her, her angelic smile glowing, his angel. He feels his heart squeeze in his chest and he wants to lock her up tightly to him, never let her go.  “Hold on, I’m going to take your picture.”

 

“Oh, come on,” she tries to protest, weakly, but smiling.  “We have to go.”

 

“No, please, you look so gorgeous and with the light behind you, it’s perfect.”

 

Rey turns to him, pressing her arm against the seat as she angles herself to keep her dress smooth, and then turns on that high wattage smile just for him.  Kylo snaps away on his phone, not wanting to leave this moment up to chance.

\------------------------------------

 

Rey, Rose and a few other students serve as emcees and trophy handlers for the awards ceremony.  The hotel ballroom is decked out in round top tables with rented crimson tablecloths, the small stage flanked by potted plants on either side of the powerpoint display on a screen in the background.  Kylo is at once amused and relieved he is no longer in college.

 

Where he sits at a table with Finn and Poe, Kylo can see that most in attendance are students, with some assorted teachers and family members spread throughout the room.  He’s grateful that Luke is standing adjacent to the stage for most of the night at a safe enough distance so they can each politely ignore the other’s existence.

 

Poe leans down to his date, a blonde girl with big saucer eyes, and says while pointing, “and there’s Professor Holdo.  She absolutely adores me. I’m her favorite, it’s almost embarrassing.”

 

“He’s full of shit, Kaydel, she hates his guts,” Finn whispers back from her other side.  Kaydel covers her mouth and giggles. Kylo cracks a smirk while keeping eyes planted firmly on Rey.

 

She’s lovely.  Her voice clear and strong in the microphone, flashes of her smile and kindness as she hands out the awards.  He feels a surge of irrational possessiveness, as if he wants to stand up and announce to the room that she’s his, all his, in case there were any doubts.  She looks over at him and he winks at her as she gives a little surreptitious wave in return.

 

Rose walks up to the podium near the end of the presentation.  “And the next award is to one of my best friends. The outstanding citizenship award.  For a student who selflessly shares her time with the community and never fails to help others when she can.  To Rey Neiman, outstanding citizen!” Rose smiles warmly.

 

Rey blushes and walks up to the podium to take the certificate from Rose with a hug.  Kylo claps enthusiastically while Poe whistles and Finn yells out, “go, Rey!”

 

Then Luke steps up onto the stage and says, “I’d like to add something about Rey,” as the crowd quiets.

 

“I’ve become quite fond of Miss Niman over the course of her time here.  She’s bright, hard working, an excellent student, and as you can tell, a great colleague and friend to others in the department.”

 

Rey holds her certificate in her hands and her smile starts to falter, her right knee bending and unbending nervously, as she looks out into the crowd.  Kylo smiles at her proudly.

 

“But what you may not realize is that Rey came to us from some less than ideal life circumstances.  She didn’t have the benefit that many of us do of a loving and supportive family to provide for her and give her the best in life.”

 

At this, Luke stares directly at Kylo.  Rey looks down, Luke’s words hanging in the stale air, as the room stares at her.  The flush of anger that rises in Kylo is so strong his face is aflame. He glares at Luke.

 

“Rey had no one to help her.  She earned her place here all on her own merit.  We’re incredibly proud to call her one of our own.  Congratulations, Rey.”

 

Luke steps back and starts clapping, the room joining in with him.  Rey looks up, small smile as she bites the corner of her lip, and Luke reaches over to give her an awkward half-hug.

 

Kylo seethes in his chair as he feels Rey’s humiliation as if it was his own.  His darkness rises at Luke as his protectiveness of her merges with his own anger and resentment.  

 

After the presentation, he’s up and at her side instantly, hands lightly grazing her arms.  “Congratulations, Rey, you deserve that award. I’m proud of you.”

 

She nods and smiles, but won’t meet his eyes as she looks around the room.  He can tell she’s hurt.

 

“Are you okay?  What Luke said-”

 

She cuts him off.  “I know he was trying to be nice.  He was.” But her eyes still won’t meet his.  Kylo swallows hard.

 

Poe walks up to give her a hug.  “Hey Rey, congrats! You did great!  Let me introduce you to Kaydel, my friend from sound engineering . . .”

 

As Rey talks to them, Kylo’s eyes scan the room.  He spies Luke crossing the ballroom to a side door.  He follows him without thinking.

 

He catches up to him alone in the hotel hallway.  The lights are dimmed and the maroon and cream carpet explodes in a garish abstract pattern beneath their feet, giving a claustrophobic feel to the narrow space.

 

“Luke!  What the hell was that?”

 

Kylo’s eyes are burning as Luke slowly turns to face him.  “What do you mean, Ben?” He tilts his head, feigning innocence.

 

“How dare you drag Rey into your petty vendetta.  That’s low, even for you,” he grits out.

 

“Rey is _my student,_ Ben.  You’re the one who brought her into this, not me.  Dating her to get back at me.” Luke’s face is set like stone.

 

“That’s bullshit!  I met Rey before I knew she was your student.  And fuck you for making her feel like shit because you wanted to make a point.”

 

Luke’s eyes grow wide as his voice rises.  “I would never hurt Rey. She’s been through too much already, she deserves only the _best.”_

 

Kylo takes a step closer, his voice lowering.  “Meaning I don’t deserve her. Just say it, Luke, don’t be a coward.”  

 

Luke smiles.  “I don’t need to say it, do I?”

 

Kylo clenches his jaw.  “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I don’t.  But that’s for her to decide, it’s none of your fucking business.”

 

“It’s my fucking business the minute you dated my student!  I will protect her. I’m loyal to my own, something you would know nothing about.”

 

“Your loyalty is poison, Luke.  Your loyalty means blind obedience, never doubt, never question _._ Isn’t that how it works with you?  Obey or be cast out?”

 

Luke walks closer and they’re only feet apart.  “You made your choice. You turned away from everything.  Your mother, your father, your family legacy, me.   All to chase your own selfish dreams.  You don’t know the first thing about loyalty.”

 

Kylo glares, his fists clenching and unclenching, as Luke continues.  “Rey can decide for herself, but she deserves the truth. Have you been honest with her?  About who you really are, Ben?”

 

Kylo nearly growls at him.  “You only see your version of truth, that I was never good enough.  Rey knows everything that she needs to about who I am.”

 

“I obviously failed you as a mentor.  I’m sorry for that. But leave her alone, Ben.  Stop trying to influence her. Let her make her own path without you controlling it.”  Luke looks at him earnestly.

 

Kylo nearly spits in his face, “I don’t have to listen to you, Luke.  You made it abundantly clear that I’m nothing to you. So stay the hell out of my life, and Rey’s.”

 

“Enough!”  Rey’s voice echoes down the hall and both men turn to see her standing in the open doorway.  She walks closer to them, face drawn tight, fists clenched at her sides.

 

“Both of you, enough!  I thought you could put whatever this is aside for a night, but clearly I was wrong.”

 

Kylo starts to interject, “Rey, I was just-”

 

She lifts a hand.  “No. Don’t, Kylo. This isn’t your battle.  I can take care of myself, I don’t need you stepping in.  Just stop.”

 

He stills.  Rey turns to face Luke, “And Professor Skywalker, that goes for you, too.  I’m quite capable of making my own decisions. I’ll meet with you next week to discuss changing my focus.  I’ve decided.” Luke looks down.

 

“Whatever is going on between you, that is for you two to sort out.  But not through me. Leave me out of it. This is the last time you will discuss me behind my back, am I clear?”  She puts her hands on her hips, chin resolute. Kylo and Luke nod, chastised.

 

“Okay.  Good. Now, this is a party and we’re going to go eat and be merry.  We’ll see you back inside, Professor. Kylo, come on.”

 

He turns away from Luke, grasping Rey’s hand and letting her lead him back inside.

 

\------------------------------------

 

“Why does he call you Ben?”  Rey asks when they get back to his condo that night.

 

They had a round of drinks with Rey’s friends after the dinner and then said their goodbyes, both not feeling up to a late night out.  The ride in the car and elevator had been silent, the air thick with words left unsaid.

 

“That’s my real name.  Benjamin Solo. I had it legally changed once I graduated.  I wanted nothing more to do with my family and that name.”

 

Rey looks at him in confusion.  As she slides off her heels, she drops down below his shoulder again as she walks up closer to him, tilting her head.  “I don’t understand how it got this bad, Kylo. With your family and with Luke.”

 

He shrugs.

 

She looks at him warily and says in a careful voice, “there’s something I need to tell you,” and then describes what Luke said in his office.  

 

“I will fucking kill Luke!  I will _destroy_ him with my own two hands!”  Kylo explodes and stalks across his apartment, kicking a chair across the room.

 

“Kylo!  Calm down!”  Rey watches him in shock.  “This is why I didn’t tell you before, I was trying to avoid a showdown.”

 

“No, Rey, that is so fucking inappropriate.  I can’t believe he said that you.” He’s glaring, nostrils flaring.

 

“I think he’s trying to help me, in his way.  But clearly, he’s still very hurt by whatever happened between you.  As are you, obviously.”

 

He exhales loudly and plops down on the couch.

 

“What happened that was so bad, Kylo?” she says gently, walking up and sitting down on the coffee table in front of him as he leans forearms on his knees and looks down.

 

He’s so quiet that she thinks he won’t answer her, the only sound his pained breaths.

 

“I have always been a stranger in my own family.”  He says, head hanging low.

 

Rey knits her brows together and waits.

 

“Do you know what it was like to be an introverted, shy kid in a family of extroverts?”

 

“No,” she says.  She has no family to compare to, but she doesn’t say that.

 

“My parents and Luke have a compulsion to be the centers of attention in any room.  The leaders, the heroes, the stars. And I was the weird, angry kid alone in the corner drawing, trying to fade into the shadows.”

 

Rey leans forward and places her hands delicately on his arms.

 

“They never understood me.  They never even tried. I could hear them, when they thought I was asleep, trying to figure out why I was so angry.  So alone all the time. Trying to find doctors, programs, any kind of solution to fix me.”

 

He still hasn’t lifted his head.

 

“I always knew they wouldn’t get it, couldn’t get me, so I just stopped trying.  I was just a name to them. A collection of names, actually, all from family or friends, to mark me with what they expected of me.  I was destined for greatness before I was born. But none of those names were me.”

 

“I went to school knowing I wanted to be an artist.  They’d never allow that, of course, so the next best thing was architecture.  But they even bristled at that, needing me to follow in my grandfather and Luke’s footsteps in engineering.  I was a second year student when Luke came up with his idea for an Academy within the school.”

 

He lifts up his eyes to look at Rey.  She’s never seen this look before, and it frightens her.  A deep sadness, like a gaping wound. Her throat feels tight.

 

“Luke wanted tenure.  Even then I showed an aptitude, so they made me the poster child for the Academy.  He would run it, select the best students, use it as a recruitment tool for the department.  It was clear what they expected of me.”

 

He sits back on the sofa.

 

“But I didn’t go along with the plan.  I don’t know how, but something in me broke.  I guess I had enough of being used. I questioned him, openly, challenging him in class.  He was so shocked he refused to engage, and others started to question him, too. The more I pushed, the angrier he got.  He couldn’t believe I would stand up to him. We had screaming fights in class. It split the students and was noticed by the other faculty.”

 

Kylo exhales.

 

“It came to a head when the dean stepped in and I had enough.  I dropped out. Out of the program, out of the college. My parents were livid, took Luke’s side.  I was letting down the whole family, they said, disloyal. So I cut them off. I had a trust from my grandfather, so I made the decision to transfer, go into architecture, fuck them all.  Other students reached out to me and left, too. I wrote a scathing letter to the dean that went public, it was a mess in the papers. The Academy folded and Luke almost lost his job, if my mom didn’t pull some strings to save him.  We haven’t spoken in years. I changed my name, moved on. Done.”

 

“Oh, God, Kylo.  I’m sorry.” She leans forward and cups a hand on his cheek.  He closes his eyes and leans into her palm.

 

“The weight of their expectations was crushing me, Rey.  They don’t know me, don’t know who I really am, and never will.  No one really does. People see what they want to see, or how they can use me.”

 

He lifts his hand to press hers into his cheek as he opens his eyes.  “I think you are the only person who really sees me.”

 

She draws closer, kneeling between his knees, and presses her forehead to his.

 

“No one ever had any expectations for me.  Well, maybe that I’d get hooked on drugs or drop out of school.  But I was never weighed down because no one even cared.”

 

He reaches his hands around her shoulders as she tilts her chin up to him.

 

“You’re the first person who ever saw me and saw potential, believed in what I could be.”

 

She leans in and and they press their lips together, tender, loving, warm.  She curls into his lap and he weaves his hand behind her neck and into her hair, supporting her in his arms.  She reaches around to cup his face, brushing his hair back from his eyes.

 

As he slowly rises to take her to bed, they discover a new tempo.  That a warm ember can burn as hot as scorching flame, that hands that squeeze can also caress, that fingertips touching can be as erotic as the hottest lust.  They wind themselves together, their limbs following their hearts, as they reassure with every touch, every kiss, that neither will have to be alone again.

  



	13. Gala, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
> 
> Just a reminder: this will be a HEA.
> 
> Another reminder: Hux & Snoke are nasty, nasty people.
> 
> Hold on tight, my dears. The next couple of chapters have some bumps.
> 
> Trigger warning: Discussion in a very mean way of child abandonment and adoption issues at the end of chapter.
> 
> Check out the amazing Gala moodboard by the lovely and superbly-talented @Rileybabe here: https://newerconstellations.tumblr.com/post/176101631085/stay-low-chapter-13-gala-part-1-is-updated

Rey narrows her eyes, willing them to focus on the screen in the lecture hall, as Professor Skywalker drones on about the relative tensile strength in compound materials.  

 

Her body sits in the seat, but her mind has flown far away.  Tonight. Finally, after weeks of anticipation, tonight. Waves of excitement and nausea grip her as she ponders the crucial question of how she should do her hair, _in a bun or loose waves . . ._

 

“Rey, can you tell the class which factors determine the compressive strength of concrete?”  Dr. Skywalker’s voice cuts through her daze as he looks at her pointedly, clearly noticing she’s zoning out of his lecture.  

 

 _Shit._ “Umm, the compressive strength of concrete depends upon . . .” she stalls, scrambling for an answer, “the quality of the concrete material, the strength of the concrete, and  . . .” Rey tapers off.

 

“Can anyone help Miss Niman with the answer?”  Skywalker looks around the room as Rey leans back with a sigh.

 

Finn’s hand lifts.  “What Rey said, plus the concrete-to-water ratio and the degree of quality control.”  Finn smiles over at her, her faithful rescuer, and she winks in return. She feels a pang of guilt that she’s neglected him and her friends lately as she’s gotten wrapped up with Kylo.

 

After class, Rey calls out to Finn as they’re packing up.  “Thanks for the save, peanut.”

 

“Anytime, peanut,” he throws her his goofy grin, the one that he knows makes her laugh.  “You’re spaced out today.” Rose steps up and leans her head on Finn’s shoulder and Rey’s smile deepens looking at them together.

 

“Rey, can I have a moment?”  She turns to see Luke and tenses.

 

“Sure, Professor.”  Wishing to escape with her friends, she gives them a nod goodbye as she lifts her bag to her shoulder.  Finn salutes her before turning, and now it’s just Luke and Rey left alone in the hall.

 

She looks up at him, bracing herself, as she presses her lips together in a tight line.  “Professor, I’m sorry that I was distrac-”

 

Luke waves her off.  “No, no, don’t worry about that.  I was young once a million years ago, I remember what a boring lecture feels like.”

 

He smiles wryly at her, then looks down and grows serious.  “Rey, I want to apologize for what happened at the awards dinner.  I let my temper and my own issues taint the event for you. It was not my best moment.  I’m sorry I pulled you into a family matter.”

 

Rey sees the lines on his face deepen, the sadness just behind his eyes.  For someone who places family above everything else in the galaxy, it must be devastating to have such a deep rift.  

 

She takes a step closer to him and speaks gently.  “Dr. Skywalker, I appreciate everything you have done for me, truly.  I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you. I’m just sad that you and Kylo can’t find a way to forgive and move on.”  

 

Luke looks down before crossing his arms.  “I have no children of my own, Rey, no legacy to speak of.  I poured everything I am into this program. Ben was our hope for a future, but he rejected that.”  He sighs sadly, “I just wanted to set him out on a good, solid path in life. In the end, I failed. I failed him and we lost him.”

 

Rey can almost feel the weight of his regret and chooses her words carefully.  “You can’t change the past, but you can move beyond it. Maybe if you both try harder to understand each other, to let some things go, you can find a middle ground.  It doesn’t have to be today. But you can get there, I know it.” She catches his eye and tilts her head toward him. “You only fail him if you give up on him.”

 

Luke nods. “We’ll see.  I appreciate your kindness, Rey.”

 

He turns to his desk and picks up a paper, holding it out to her.  “But I also have other news. I spoke to the dean yesterday and she agreed to our plan.”

 

Rey almost floats off the floor.  “Oh, thank you so much! That’s amazing!”

 

Luke smiles broadly.  “Starting Monday, your credits will count to a new tailored degree:  Renewable resources and energy reclamation. It’s a mouthful, but you won’t lose your credits and it only tacks on a year.”

 

He hands her the paper.  “You are officially a one of a kind, kid, congratulations!”

 

She gives him a quick hug, then scoops up her bag and nearly runs out the door to go call Kylo.

 

\--------------------

 

“Hey, beautiful,” Kylo says, his low growl tickling her ear.  Rey switches her phone to the other shoulder while silently noting this as her favorite greeting in the world.

 

“Babe, I have wonderful news.  Luke came through for me and the dean approved the switch.  I got the tailored degree!”

 

She can hear movement from his side of the call, voices rising in conflict in the background.  “Oh, that’s great! I’m glad he was good for something for once.”

 

She ignores the dig.  “He really does care. And he also apologized for the awards dinner, so he must’ve been thinking about it.  He mentioned that he feels like he failed you.”

 

“Well, he did.”  Kylo muffles the call as he speaks sharply to someone on his end.

 

“Yeah, but _admitting that_ is a big deal.  You have to give people the chance to learn and change.”

 

He grunts.  “Maybe. But I won’t hold my breath.”

 

“You don’t have to hold it, but can you at least keep a little hope?  Just a shred?” She walks up the steps to her apartment and pulls out her keys.

 

He sounds muffled as she hears more background noise.  “Hmm. Just a shred. The last shred.” Then he speaks loudly to someone behind him, “No, over there, by the stage.”

 

Rey makes an affirmative sound.  “How’s the set up going at the museum?  What time should I get there? Rose is coming over to help me get ready.”

 

“You don’t need help, you’re perfect the way you are.”  She rolls her eyes at him, “And don’t make any faces at me on the phone, I can’t see but I know you.”  She snorts at him.

 

Kylo continues, “I’m staying straight through until tonight.  Hux lined up t.v. interviews with thirty minute breaks in-between to fucking torture me, I’m convinced.  So I’ll send the limo to get you at 5. Does that work? When you get here, just tell the red carpet assistant that you’re with me and she’ll let you in.”

 

Rey’s insides braid together.  “Red carpet?”

 

“Yeah, It’s stupid, I know, but it makes the financiers feel special.”

 

“Oh my God.”  She groans.

 

“Rey, it’s going to be okay.  You’re with me. It’ll all be fine, I’ll make sure of it.”

 

She takes a deep breath, like diving into the deep end of the pool.  “Okay. I’ll see you then.”

 

\--------------------

 

At 4 pm, Rey steps out of the shower.  Thankfully the hot water’s working this week, so she’s feeling refreshed and ready.

 

She pulls out the long, black sheath she found with Rose, a one-shoulder number, and she’s pretty sure she can tuck in one side of her bra and get away with it.  She wraps her hair in a towel and puts on her underwear, sliding up the black dress to test it out when she hears a sound.

 

A loud _rip_ to be exact.

 

Rey looks down in horror, and the entire side seam of the dress has torn open, the zipper hanging uselessly.  She starts gasping in short, hot breaths as panic sets in.

 

_Oh, shit, oh no, this can’t be happening._

_Think, think.  What do I do? Can I fix this?_

_You are so fucking worthless you don’t even have another dress._

_You’ve already fucked up this evening and you haven’t left the house yet._

 

Rey’s mind is spiralling down, down, into a dark, deep hole and she can’t stop it from falling.  

 

She runs to her phone, bites her lip, and calls Rose.

 

Rose answers, “Hey Rey, I’m about to park . . .”

 

“Oh my God, Rose, I’m fucked!  I’m totally fucked! My dress just ripped I can’t wear it, the car is coming in an hour, oh my God . . .”

 

“Calm down, Rey!  Take some deep breaths.  Your dress is messed up?”

 

Rey’s almost in tears.  “Yes, it’s totally ripped.  The seam burst open.”

 

Rose thinks, “Can we fix it?”

 

Rey shakes her head, voice trembling, “No, I think it’s destroyed.  What do I do?”

 

Rose thinks for a moment, then answers in strong voice.  “Okay, I don’t have anything nice enough that would fit you, so I’m going to send Finn over to my sister’s place.  Paige has all manner of formals from her sorority days. I’m almost there so we can get started on hair and makeup.  Don’t worry, we got your back.”

 

Rey exhales a jagged breath.  “Thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver.”

 

\--------------------

 

A half-hour later, Finn knocks.  Rose has just finished Rey’s makeup, giving her a smokey eye that Rey knows she absolutely could never achieve without emulating a raccoon, when he walks in.

 

“Somebody ordered a ballgown?”  Finn says as he dips to kiss Rose on the cheek and steps in front of Rey.   

 

She throws her arms around him in a huge hug.  “Don’t mess up your makeup, Rey!” Rose calls out, only half-joking.  “No grateful tears, okay?”

 

Rey pulls back and grins at him, scrunching up her nose.  “You’re just the best friend, you know that?”

 

Finn nods.  “Yeah, and don’t forget it.”  He lifts up the dresses. “So, Paige’s closet is bigger than your apartment.  I’m hanging these up before my arm falls off.”

 

Rey goes through three dresses before slipping on a deep green one.  A sheer halter layer overlays a light grey bodice, tied off at the waist with a ribbon, the fabric cascading down in folds that float around her feet as she walks, light as gossamer.

 

Rose helps her adjust the layers after Rey walks out to show them.  “You look like Cinderella, Rey,” Rose says wistfully.

 

“That makes you my fairy godmother,” Rey says with a smile.

 

“So am I a mouse?  Because I don’t want to be a mouse,” Finn says dramatically as the girls laugh.  

 

Rose tucks away fly-aways from Rey’s bun and touches up her makeup, holding onto her chin inspecting her.  “Just relax sweetie. It’s going to be fun. You’re with your man, everything is great.”

 

Rey exhales, looking her in the eyes as she nibble her lower lip.

 

“And text us afterwards at Starkiller tonight so we know how it’s going.”

 

Rey begins to nod when her phone buzzes, and she walks to window to see the limo waiting downstairs.

 

She gives Finn a hug and then Rose squeezes both her hands.  “You’ve got this, Rey. Have fun.”

 

Rey walks to stairs and hitches up her skirts, carefully taking them down step-by-step, as the sour tang of fear fills her mouth.

 

\--------------------

 

The traffic for the last two blocks is congested by road closures and signs for event parking.  Rey’s nerves are fraying as she smooths out her dress, and she pulls out her phone to text Kylo that she’s almost there.

 

The limo pulls into queue in front of the Institute of Contemporary Art.  A sign has been erected next to the red carpet lining the stairs that reads “First Order Associates: A New Vision” with Kylo’s name in bold underneath Snoke’s.  Rey catches a reflection of her own wide eyes in the limo window as she silently absorbs the assembled crowd along the stairs, flash bulbs erratically flashing.

 

The limo pulls up and Rey catches her breath as a valet opens the door and offers her his hand.  She steps out, careful not to step on her long hem, as she holds tight to her clutch her with white knuckles.  She swallows and will herself to ignore the nagging voice in her head, her insecurity rising to the surface.

 

_You don’t belong here._

 

As she follows the valet’s outstretched arm to the base of the stairs, Rey pulls herself up straight.  She steps onto the red carpet and for a moment the chatter on the sides grows quiet, a lull as the photographers look at her with blank expressions.  She realizes they have no idea who she is, because she’s nobody.

 

_Who do you think you are?  You are nothing._

 

She hears a voice to her left say Kylo’s name.  All of a sudden, the flashbulbs fire up like fireworks and she has to squint and look down to protect her eyes.  The voices intensify as she walks up the stairs quickly, men yelling at her, “Miss! Miss! Can you tell us about Kylo Ren?”  Rey hurries upward to the safety of the front doors where a girl with a headset is standing guard.

 

“What is your name, please?” the girl asks with studied indifference as she reads her iPad.

 

Rey catches her breath, her voice wavering, “Rey Niman.”

 

The girl looks down, frowning.  “I don’t have your name on my list.  Do you have an invitation for the pre-party event?”  Her tone is dry and unforgiving.

 

“Um, no, I was told to ask for Kylo Ren?  I”m his . . . date.” The term seems ridiculous but she can’t think of another.

 

“One moment, please.”  The girl turns away and speaks into her headset saying Rey’s name.  She nods several times then turns back to say, “someone is coming to lead you back.”  She eyes Rey with a small scowl, and Rey wants to sink into the floor.

 

Rey steps aside as another guest completes the red carpet gauntlet.  She recognizes him from t.v., he’s the owner of a professional football team.  Rey gulps audibly.

 

Then a tall, peroxide blonde in a glimmering silver sheath rounds the corner and stalks up to Rey, towering nearly a foot above her in sky-high heels.  “Rey, I’m Gwen Phasma. Please follow me.” Her forced smile reminds Rey of a hyena.

 

Rey follows dutifully a step behind, thankful to get further away from the cameras.  They round the building to walk to the backside of the museum adjacent the river.

 

The sun is starting to set, giving a warm glow to the white marble and a glistening sheen to the glass.  Rey looks in a tall window as they pass by and her mouth parts as she takes in the banquet space being set up, mesmerized.  Intricate floral centerpieces decorate the round tables draped with black and white linens, the lighting purple and gold and glowing throughout the room.  A band sets up equipment on a stage as servers in vests carry in tray upon tray of food placed in stations around the room.

 

As they pass by the back corner of the museum, Rey pulls up short and freezes.

 

Rows of chairs align to face a large dais backing the river, a huge screen displaying the First Order logo.  And before the screen stands Kylo talking to a man with a microphone.

 

His hair is brushed back from his face in dark waves and she notices with a happy shock that he’s shaved, his face smooth and surprisingly young-looking without his scruff.  His tux fits him like a second skin, his wide shoulders the perfect frame for the cut as the smooth, black fabric slides down to emphasize his height. His bowtie makes her smile.  He looks like the perfect gift, wrapped up with a bow just for her, and her heart crushes in her chest.

 

Kylo looks up suddenly and sees her.  The serious scowl on his face as he talks to the man melts away into an easy smile.  She smiles back and then carefully picks her way down the stairs in her heels.

 

When she finally makes it the dais she waits patiently for him to finish.  She watches him raptly, the way his brows draw together when he hunts for the perfect word, his hands move in tandem to emphasize his ideas, and his myriad small expressions on his face change as he explains his vision.  

 

_He doesn’t even know how handsome he is._

 

As the interview wraps up Kylo thanks the man and then steps down to her.  His eyes graze over her as he takes her hand and murmurs, “I’ve never seen you in a dress that color.  You look fantastic, baby.”

 

Rey glows back at him as he pulls her into his side.  He nuzzles down to her neck and kisses her at the base of her ear.  “You’re here,” he whispers. Her hand reaches to press up gently against his heart.  “I’m here,” she agrees.

 

He pulls back and then a loud voice calls out, “Kylo, and who do we have here?  Who have you brought to me?”

 

Kylo stiffens and his smile drops as he turns around reluctantly, revealing Ken Snoke and Armitage Hux walking up to them.  Snoke is dressed in black with a gold vest and tie, the effect flashy and garish and highlighting his pallor. Up close, his myriad acne scars rise up from nearly translucent skin.  “And who is this lovely creature?”

 

Rey feels Kylo’s hand snake around her waist and squeeze possessively as she reaches her right hand forward to take Snoke’s.  “I’m Rey, sir.”

 

“Sir?  Oh, my sweet child, please call me Ken.”  He clasps her hand tightly. Before she can react, his other hand has lifted to scrape long fingers against her cheek.  “Oh, exquisite. Kylo has always had excellent taste,” he licks his lips and Kylo’s fingers dig into her skin almost painfully.  

 

Rey turns away from his hand and tries to hide her revulsion, struggling to be polite. “It’s a wonderful event, you must be proud.  Everyone’s worked so hard.” Kylo says nothing but his grip stays tight.

 

Snoke seems unfazed, if anything amused by her moving away from him.  “Oh, some of us certainly worked harder than others, but how nice of you to notice, my dear.”

 

Snoke turns abruptly to Hux, “Make the announcement that the program is beginning.  Let’s get this over with so we can drink.” He turns back to wink at her and Kylo, then walks away.

 

Rey exhales and turns to him, “God, he’s creepy.”  

 

Kylo’s burning as his gaze follows Snoke, a pained expression on his face.  “I’m sorry you had to meet him.”

 

Rey looks up at him and says softly, “I’m not here for him.  I’m here for you.” She reaches up on tiptoes and he bends down as they brush the tips of their noses.

 

“I’m up here for the program, but after that we’ll be together for the rest of the night.  Okay?”

 

Rey nods as he escorts her to her seat.

 

\--------------------

 

Rey sits raptly as Kylo speaks to the audience, his voice both clear and solid.  He holds the attention of the crowd as much with his thoughtful pauses as with his words.

 

He explains the different layers of his design projected on the screen and Rey is transported back to the Kyber Cafe when they sat shoulder to shoulder discussing ideas and his vision.  Even if she didn’t know him, even if she didn’t want him, she would be amazed by him. He is a genius. She looks around the crowd and sees the same admiration reflected in the faces around her, except for one.  Hux is staring at Kylo with barely-disguised loathing.

 

As the program is completed and the audience stands in ovation, Rey beams at Kylo, clapping loudly, filled with pride.  He looks around humbly. Then Snoke stands before the crowd and raises both arms as he walks to the microphone, “Thank you, Kylo, for that impressive performance.  As you all know, Kylo recently was awarded a MacArthur Genius Grant, so we can officially call him our ‘resident genius’ now.” The crowd laughs and claps again, as Kylo’s countenance darkens and his smile fades, eyes trained on Snoke.  “But Kylo and I have another exciting announcement to make in front our financiers and the press. He has just agreed to sign another five-year term on his exclusive contract with the First Order! We are delighted to continue this very lucrative and creative partnership and see our plans come to fruition, so we have two things to celebrate tonight!”

 

Kylo’s gone white as a sheet.  She can tell that he’s as surprised as she is by the news, he told her nothing about this.  Before he can look at her, he’s being pulled aside by Snoke for pictures.

 

As Rey rises to join him, Hux walks up to her and offers his arm.  “Rey, allow me.”

 

Rey narrows her eyes, but she doesn’t want to appear rude, so takes his arm.  Instead of walking down to the dais, he turns to guide her back to the front of the building.  

 

“Where are we going?” she asks, on edge.

 

“A short cut,” Hux replies, voice oozing.  Rey’s heartbeat starts to race.

 

They arrive back at the front steps and she sees a limo waiting.

 

He turns to her and her confusion must be visible on her face, because he smirks in response.

 

“Kylo thought that the rest of the evening may not be up to your speed.  Boring. He thought you’d be more comfortable leaving now. He told me to tell you he’ll call you later.”

 

Rey removes her arm quickly, balling up fists as she sets her jaw.  “You’re a liar. He didn’t say that. He wouldn’t send you.”

 

Hux’s wolfish grin is terrifying as he steps closer.  “I should’ve known Kylo doesn’t _do stupid._ ”  His eyes flash down to her chest at his innuendo and a surge of anger flushes her face, “but you know what he also doesn’t do? _Liars._ How much did you tell him about your past, Rey?”  The look in his eyes freezes her solid.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’m finding Kylo.”  She turns to walk back to the crowd.  


His voice calls out behind her.  “Did you tell him about the car?”  

 

Rey halts.  Her heartbeat thunders in her chest.  She turns back to him slowly.

 

“What’re you talking about?” she presses out of tight lips.

 

“The Morrison’s car, of course.  Oh, has there been more than one, then?  Even more delicious.”

 

She’s turned to stone as her mind reels.

 

“So I’m assuming _not_ , then.  I guess a criminal record isn’t something to brag about.  Especially when you finally had a family take you home, then repaid them by getting drunk with your friends and totalling their car.  At fourteen, quite the prodigy.” He shakes his head at her, clicking his tongue. “So close to having a real family, then they sent you away to juvie.”

 

The hot tears are welling in her eyes, but she won’t let them fall, she won’t give him the satisfaction.  Her throat is raw and her voice hoarse. “Those records are sealed.”

 

“It’s amazing what money will open up, Rey!  And what will Kylo think about his little angel after he finds out?  Two years in juvie, an assault while you’re there, then back into the foster system.  Does he know?”

 

Her lip trembles but she juts her chin out.  “He won’t care. He knows who I am _now._  He’ll forgive me.”  She tries to believe her own words, but a ghost of doubt haunts her.

 

Hux takes a step closer and tilts his head.  “Maybe. It’s possible he’ll still want you. Maybe he’ll understand.”  His smile falls. “But I don’t think the press will.”

 

Rey holds her breath and she feels faint as her stomach spirals.

 

“With one email, all those photographers have pictures worth thousands now.  ‘Kylo Ren’s criminal girlfriend’ and ‘visionary architect caught slumming’ and what-not.  The tabloids will eat it up.”

 

Rey chokes out, “Why are you doing this to me?”

 

Hux laughs.  “Darling, it’s not me.  I don’t do a thing Snoke doesn’t order.  You should’ve seen the joy in his eyes when I showed him your file from the investigators.  What a rare treat to see that monster genuinely smile.”

 

He moves closer to catch her eye, and his snide demeanor is replaced by something more dangerous, almost feral.  “But I do take personal pleasure in fucking Kylo Ren over, I’ll admit. We’ve known he’s wanted out for awhile. But we can’t allow that, the financiers walk without him, it would destroy the First Order.”

 

He looks away for a moment, smile on his lips.  “But with this? Snoke _owns_ Kylo now and I just secured a raise and bonus for saving the firm.  Oh, and if Kylo decides to blow himself up and leave anyway- which let’s be honest, anger management isn’t his strong suit- even better, because then I get to be the one to destroy his name and reputation.  It’s really a win-win.”

 

Rey wraps her arms around her waist, holding herself together as she shakes.

 

_This isn’t happening.  This can’t be happening._

 

His lips continue to spew venom as he turns to reach for the door of the limo, “Oh, and you’ll have to break up with him, obviously.  It’s for the best, he’ll hold it against you that you ruined his career, even if he says he doesn’t. Maybe the occasional fuck, I suppose, but we can’t have him unfocused at work.  You’ll probably want to do it before he looks at you differently. A pity, he was finally happy for once.” Hux smiles as he opens her door.

 

Rey takes halting steps as she gets into the limo, in shock.  “Now run along home like a good little girl.”

 

\--------------------

 

Rey unlocks her front door with shaking hands and takes off her heels, one at a time, and throws them at the wall as she starts to cry.  She reaches hands behind her neck, clumsy fingers grasping for the hooks, as the tears fall hot and fast, ruining Rose’s makeup. “Come on!  Fuck!” she screams to her empty apartment, finally unhooking the last one as she nearly rips off the dress and drops it on the floor, running into her room and falling face first on her bed, sobbing and gasping for breath.

 

To her horror, the nasty voice in her head is now Hux’s voice.  His snide inflection telling her all the ugly truths she’s been pushing down for so long.

 

_You’re nothing, who do you think you are?_

_He’ll never look at you the same way._

_You don’t deserve him, you never did._

_You’re hurting him after all he did for you._

_You fucked him up._

_You’re nothing._

 

Rey cries into her mattress until she’s drained.  Small hiccupping sobs until she’s empty, as if she’s cried out tiny pieces of her heart with the tears.  She catches her breath as she curls into a ball.

 

After some time, Rey gets up and puts on her jeans and a white muscle t-shirt.  She shakes out her hair and washes her face and stares back at the cold, broken eyes in the mirror.  She’s alone again, just like always. She needs to numb the feelings to survive this, just like always.  She texts Rose and Finn that she’s coming out to Starkiller tonight after all.

 

As she walks across campus, she pulls out her phone to see Kylo calling her.  

 

She turns it to silent and keeps walking.

  



	14. Gala, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In another fic, Rey and Kylo would stay apart for weeks of pain. The angst would be lengthy and delicious. But this isn't that fic.
> 
> Kylo wouldn't let me keep him away from Rey. 
> 
> He's going to get his girl.

As he stands on the dais concluding his speech, Kylo pauses and spots Rey beaming back at him.  Her blinding smile is aimed right at his heart, a direct hit. 

 

Once he wraps this up, all he has to do is avoid his co-workers like the plague and enjoy dinner and dancing with his girl.  Maybe the night won’t be as bad as he feared. 

 

He smiles as he speaks, thinking of Rey and the secret he has tucked away.  

 

He’s ending his commitment to the First Order on Monday.  His resignation letter is printed, signed and waiting for him on his dining room table.  He’s closing this chapter of his life and moving forward out of the darkness. He can’t wait to tell Rey.

 

Kylo makes his concluding statement to the crowd and is met with rounds of applause.  For a moment he basks in his accomplishment, the thrill of his work being well-received after months of toiling alone.  It’s a rare joy, the moment he can share his work with those who appreciate it. 

 

Snoke moves to the microphone and makes a stupid joke as the crowd laughs.  Then his voice lowers as he says, “but Kylo and I have another exciting announcement to make in front our financiers and the press.”  

 

Kylo feels the hair on the back of his neck rise.  Snoke’s tone contains a current of excitement that can only mean doom.  Kylo’s eyes flick up to the man’s face trying to discern what new threat exists there.  

 

“He has just agreed to sign another five-year term on his exclusive contract with the First Order!  We are delighted to continue this very lucrative and creative partnership and see our plans come to fruition, so we have two things to celebrate tonight!” 

 

Kylo blanches and his head floats as the crowd applauds loudly as flashbulbs go off.  He scans the crowd and sees that Rey’s not smiling, looking at him as confused as he feels.  Snoke turns back to him and stage whispers, “We’ll talk after photos. Smile, son, this is your big moment.”

 

Kylo follows Snoke down off the dais, but before leaving throws a look back for Rey.  He can’t find her in the swirl of black and white tuxedos, her rich green already faded away into the mass of movement.

 

\-------------------------

 

Inside the museum in a private room, Snoke insists on multiple photos and handshakes with the groups of foreign investors.  Kylo is paraded out, Snoke’s show pony, to wow them with his architecture terminology and the bored indifference that is an excusable behavior for auteurs.  It’s all part of Snoke’s show.

 

After a half-hour, Kylo walks over to Gwen Phasma.  “Where’s Rey? Can someone bring her back here?”

 

Phasma speaks on her headset quietly, then says, “Hux is with her.”

 

Kylo scowls.  “Tell him to bring her so she can wait with me.”

 

Gwen fidgets as she eyes him nervously, “I’ll tell him, Kylo.” 

 

He asks a waiter for a vodka straight, his third of the night, before he’s called back for more photos.  Another half-hour goes by, no Rey.

 

After the final handshake, as Snoke escorts out the last of the investors, Hux walks into the room alone.

 

Kylo storms over to him and asks, “where’s Rey?” with no pretense. 

 

“Sorry, but Rey wasn’t feeling well.  I got her a limo and she went home.”

 

Pulling out his phone, he sees no calls or texts from Rey.  He dials Rey’s number, no answer. Tries again, nothing. He looks back to Hux, but the man doesn’t hide his gloat fast enough.  He looks like a fox in a henhouse.

 

Kylo takes three long strides and reaches out his right hand and grabs Hux by the throat as his eyes nearly bug out in surprise and Gwen yelps. 

 

“What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do?” Kylo grits out of clenched teeth.

 

Hux sputters and Kylo’s fingers dig into his flesh as Hux wraps both hands around Kylo’s wrist and scrambles to push him off.  He’s not much shorter, but a good fifty pounds lighter than Kylo and no match in terms of strength.

 

“Where’s Rey?” Kylo growls.

 

Gwen starts to push on Kylo’s shoulder, “Stop, you’re hurting him!”

 

“I fucking hope I’m hurting him,” Kylo roars as Hux starts to turn pink.

 

“Enough, Ren.  Release him,” Snoke stands in the doorway.  Kylo lets go of Hux with a glare as the ginger rubs his throat and coughs.

 

Snoke walks in with a pleased expression on his face.  He’s always amused when they rip each other to shreds. “Gwen, go find Mitaka and mind the guests.”  She nearly jogs out of the room.

 

Once it’s just the three of them, Snoke closes the door and turns to Kylo.  “Rey was sent home for her own good. This is between us men.” 

 

Kylo scowls at Snoke.  “I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I’m not signing on for one more day, let alone five more years.  I’m out, get someone else to torture.”

 

Snoke walks closer and Hux circles around to flank him, a hand still rubbing his throat.

 

“That’s where you’re wrong.  You’ll sign the agreement. You’ll stay on.  Because I know something you don’t.”

 

He nods to Hux who pulls out a file and hands it to Kylo.  Kylo opens up to the first page, a mugshot of Rey when she’s fourteen, tear-stained eyes glassy and looking utterly distraught.  It hits him like a punch to the gut.

 

Kylo’s pulse thunders in his ears as he flips through the pages, his nostrils flaring like a bull.  Case worker reports, court hearings, probation check-ins, summarized by a private investigator. He’s nauseous and infuriated at the same time, for all the people in her life who hurt her before and for Snoke and Hux who will hurt her now.  He wants to scream and cry and burn the whole fucking world to the ground.

 

He decides to start with Ken Snoke.

 

He marches over to him and gets a thrill at the brief look of terror in the man’s eyes as he hulks over him.  “What the fuck are you doing, Snoke? Dragging Rey into this? You despicable piece of shit . . .”

 

Snoke raises a finger to him, “uh-uh-uh, mind your tone with me, _ boy. _  No one will see that file if you fall in line.  It’s that simple.” 

 

Kylo huffs,  “or else what?”

 

Snoke smiles grimly, “Or else a copy goes out to every media contact on our list, and the academic journals to boot.  You’ll have a tsunami of bad press that will taint your Google searches for decades. What client or firm will hire you then?”

 

Kylo shakes his head.  “I don’t care. I don’t fucking care, destroy me, I’m never working for you again.”  He slaps down the file and starts to walk away.

 

Hux’s rough voice arrests him.  “But what about her?”

 

Kylo stops and glares as Hux smiles ruefully, “Rey hasn’t even graduated yet.  Who will hire her after this? Her reputation will be ruined before she’s even had a chance.  And could she ever forgive you for dragging her skeletons out into the light?”

 

Kylo works his jaw as his hands clench.  

 

Snoke continues, “Think it over, Ren.  We’ll have the contract for you to sign and the press release ready on Monday.  Come to work, and we’ll move forward and this won’t see the light of day. Don’t show up, and destroy yourself and her.  Take the weekend to think it over.” 

 

Kylo’s leaving when he hears Hux mutter something under his breath and he whips around.  “What did you say?”

 

Hux lifts his chin, “I said Rey’s better off with-” and then he’s interrupted by Kylo’s fist smashing into his nose as he falls backwards onto the floor, flailing and grabbing at his face.

 

Kylo shakes out his hand as walks out the door.

 

\-------------------------

 

Kylo calls Rey repeatedly from his car but there’s no answer.  He drives directly to her place, but the lights are off. His calls all go to voicemail and he hits redial over and over as he slams his palms into the steering wheel.  

 

It’s Friday.  There’s only one other place he can think of to look.  He drives to Starkiller.

 

\-------------------------

 

The bouncer gives a funny look at the tux.  “Singing telegram?” he asks, but Kylo’s in no mood to joke.

 

The bar is dark and crowded and the loud bass of the music echoes in his chest like a second heartbeat.  He cuts through the crowd, using his size to make way, looking for her and ignoring the whispers and looks at his bowtie.  He spots Finn and Rose at their regular spot at the bar. He storms up and asks, “where’s Rey? Is she here?” interrupting them, a desperate edge to his voice.  

 

Rose looks surprised and guarded, looking to Finn before answering.  “What happened? She won’t tell us anything.”

 

Kylo shakes his head, “This asshole I work with.  He said something to her. I need to see her.”

 

Finn looks at him cautiously.  “She’s pretty upset, Kylo, maybe she needs some space.  I think you should go.”

 

Kylo turns to him, furious, but catches himself.  He exhales and closes his eyes. When he opens them, he places both hands on Finn’s shoulders and looks him dead straight in the eyes before speaking.  “Man, I love her. I am completely, overwhelmingly in love with her. Somebody hurt her and it wasn’t me. I have to talk to her, I am dying right now.  _ Please. _ ”

 

Finn’s tense shoulders soften under his hands and his look of surprise mellows.  He looks over to Rose and Kylo turns to see her eyebrows lift into twin peaks and a gentle smile curl up one corner of her mouth.  “She’s in the bathroom, Kylo, she can’t stop crying.”

 

He nods at both of them and spins to find her.  He walks down the long hall and leans against the wall outside the ladies’ restroom.  He remembers waiting for her in the same spot that first night, in his ripped shirt. How he couldn’t stand to let her out of his sight or his touch.  He swallows hard and he waits.

 

The door opens and there she is.  Eyes red and puffy, her makeup washed away, just raw beauty unfiltered.  _  His Rey.   _ Dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, every inch a goddess still.

 

“Baby . . .” he starts to say and he sees the grimace on her face, like he caused her physical pain. 

 

“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” she says and starts to walk back through the bar, ripping away from him.

 

“Rey, wait,” he lunges after her and catches her wrist gently, to turn her back to him.  “Please, just listen to me. I’m sorry.”

 

Her head snaps to him in genuine surprise.  “You? No, it’s me, don’t you see, it’s me?”  She tries to pull away from him, “I have to go.”

 

He shakes his head as he drops her wrist.  “I’m not leaving. I won’t. You have to talk to me, Rey, and you have to listen to me.”

 

She looks up at him with tears in her eyes, “Then I’m leaving,” and she pushes past him and out to the back door, running.

 

After a stunned moment he follows her.  He runs past the closed door of the back room, _ their room, _ and pushes the bar of the back door to chase her.  

 

When he hits the alley behind the bar he calls out, “Rey!” and sees a flash of white slip past the corner of the building.  “Just wait a minute, Rey!”

 

He jogs in his tux past the dumpsters and strewn trash to circle around the building.  He finally corners her at a dead end behind the building, as she runs up to the chain link blocking her escape to the sidewalk.  She hooks her hands through the loops of metal and dips her head forward, panting. As he slowly approaches, step by step, he hears her soft sobs and stops.  

“God, baby, will you please just stop running?  Just give me a chance?” He implores her.

 

She turns slowly back to face him and the despair on her face cuts a gash straight through him, as if she’d sliced him with the blade of her own pain.

 

“It’s all true, Kylo.  Everything in that file is true.  I . . . did those things. That’s who I really am.”

 

He presses his lips together and raises his palms in surrender.  “It’s okay, Rey. It doesn’t matter to me. That was in the past.”

 

She yells at him, voice jagged and rough.  “ _ No, it isn’t. _  It’s who I am right now.  I carry those things with me every single day.  It’s like a scar. I can’t forget it, I can’t wash it away.”

 

He steps closer.  “Baby, I’m so sorry.  You have to believe me, I’m sorry I ever introduced you to those monsters.  I am so, so fucking sorry, please forgive me.”

 

Rey shakes her head sadly.  “It’s not your fault. If I were a normal person they wouldn’t have a file.  I’m the monster.”

 

Kylo steps closer still, voice strong and deep.  “Don’t say that, don’t ever say that. You’re beautiful and smart and good and a better person than every single one of them put together.”

 

She looks up, eyes pleading with him.  “No, no. You don’t understand. And you won’t think that when you hear all of it.  You won’t, you couldn’t.” Rey looks down and wraps her arms around herself. “And I can’t take it if you look at me different.  I can’t. This will hurt you and you’ll come to hate me. Hate me for what I did to you.”

 

“ _ Never. _  I could never hate you, you know that.  Look at me. Rey,  _ look at me. _ ” 

 

He reaches out a hand to her.  She looks down at it and then back up at him.  She slowly unwraps one of her arms from her waist and reaches out to him.  For an instant just their fingertips touch and then he grabs her hand and pulls her into his chest, crushing her in tightly.

 

He breathes in her hair as she sniffles against him.  He whispers to her, “You can tell me anything, baby. I will always love you, no matter what.  Please just talk to me. We have to be able to talk to each other.”

 

Her body stiffens in his arms and she pulls back from him.  He looks down at her, but she darts up quickly to kiss him. What starts as slow and tender turns heated as she licks at his lower lip.

 

A surge of relief rolls over him at her touch, he gives in to the kiss and pulls her closer, meeting her fire and dipping his tongue in her mouth greedily.  Her hands reach down to cup his ass and tug him up against her. He lifts a palm to her cheek as she snakes a hand around to his crotch and starts to rub against him.  He breaks away to groan and she says in a husky voice, “Let’s just not talk anymore right now, okay?” She starts to pull back and unzip his fly.

 

He pulls away in confusion, “Rey, what’re you doing?” as she kneels down in front of him.  

 

“You look so hot in this tux, I’ve been thinking about you all night.  I just want a taste.” She won’t meet his gaze.

 

Something’s off, he’s missing something important.  “Rey, what-”

 

“Shhhhh, I just want you, I just want to feel you.”  She pushes his boxers down and starts to stroke him hungrily.  They hear voices as people pass on the sidewalk on the other side of the fence, but she doesn’t stop.  

 

He puts a hand behind her head and rubs her cheek as she starts to stroke and kiss him.  Her pink tongue looks so good lapping at him, and he’s already hard and aching for her. 

 

She takes him in her mouth and starts sucking him in deep.  He lets out a groan and gently bucks his hips up to her mouth, so hot and tight.  She pulls his hips in closer as she sucks him in and out, helping him fuck into her mouth. 

 

His queen.  An alarm in the back of his mind goes off.  

 

_ She’s turning them into just bodies again. _

_ She’s trying to stay in control. _

_ She’s hiding. _

_ Not like this. _

 

He wants all of her, every good and bad thing.  

 

He opens his eyes and looks down at her.  

 

“Rey, Rey, sweetheart, stop,” he tries to gently push her away from him, but she’s insistent and knows exactly how to drive him wild.  She hums and sucks him in deeper.

 

Kylo closes his eyes and summons the strength necessary to put both hands on her shoulders and gently hold her in place as he pulls away with a wet popping sound.

 

“Stop, baby, I don’t want it like this.  We have to talk.” She stares at him open-mouthed, panting, thinly-veiled desire mixing with desperation just behind her eyes as he breaks through to her finally.

 

And that’s how the cops find them.

  
  



	15. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than normal, but is intense.
> 
> Rey keeps running, and Kylo won't let her go. This is their late arriving Takodana.
> 
> Trigger Warning: discussion of childhood trauma of abandonment. It's the canon backstory of Rey, no active abuse but neglect. If you want to skip it, skip from the first dashes to the second.
> 
> We've checked off a lot of boxes in this story so far (enemy to lovers, smut-a-thon, emotional growth, evil bad guys, angst), so now please enjoy some:
> 
> -Tragic backstory of heroine  
> -Dramatic declarations of love (by Kylo in a tux)  
> -Mega fluffy fluff.
> 
> Check. 
> 
> Cake and plans for revenge in the next update. :)

A pair of flashlights slice through the alley and land on Rey as she blinks up in surprise.  “Okay, Romeo, let’s zip it up.  Honey, slowly stand up and put your arms in the air.”  A pair of cops walk up to them with poker faces and reach to unhook handcuffs from their belts.

 

Kylo quickly pulls up his pants as Rey scrambles to stand.  Her palms raise up, her shadow wavering on the brick wall behind her as she starts to tremble.  “Damn, so how much was it, man?  Hope it was worth the bail.  Soliciting is a crime just the same as hooking.”

 

“No, no, it’s not like that, she’s my girlfriend,”  Kylo says feebly as he lifts hands above his head.  Rey turns to him, eyes wide.  He realizes this is the first time he’s called her that.

 

The cops cuff their hands behind their backs and lead them back to the cruiser parked behind the bar.  Kylo tries explaining, but the cops just nod and Rey stays silent.  They sit in the backseat of the cruiser as the cops radio in their driver's license numbers to confirm Kylo's story. 

 

He hears a rattle and sees Rey’s legs shaking.  “It’s okay, baby, it’s just a misunderstanding.  We’ll clear it up, and I’ll get indecent exposure or something.  It’s not a big deal.”

 

She doesn’t respond and hangs her head, muttering to herself.  He leans in closer to whisper, “ _Baby_ , it’s okay.”

 

He can faintly make out her words.

 

_Please come back, please come back, please come back._

 

\------------------

 

And suddenly Rey is six years old again.

 

Small and thin, she’s used to taking care of herself because no one else will.

 

She wakes up on her own in the morning and gets dressed.  She drags over a chair to reach the boxes of cereal in the pantry.  She knows how to get to the bus stop for first grade, so her parents don’t even wake up in the morning anymore.  

 

She can use the microwave to heat cups of macaroni and cheese for dinner if she’s on her own after school.  She’s spent a whole day by herself before when mama and pop say they have to go out and she can’t come, but they always come home to her eventually.

 

Until one day they don’t.  

 

Rey waits by the window until nightfall the first day and turns on the lights herself, because she’s still afraid of the dark even though she’s a big girl.  She eats cereal for dinner and puts herself to sleep after brushing her teeth. She likes to follow the rules because then she knows she’s good.

 

They still aren’t home the next morning.  

 

After school, she runs home because she can’t wait to hear pop’s long story of where they’ve been.  But the apartment’s still empty and dark. She sits in silence by the window, waiting.

 

_Please come back, please come back, please come back._

 

She falls asleep on the couch in her clothes that night.

 

By the third day, the cereal is running low and the milk is gone.  Rey’s afraid to go to school because she doesn’t want to miss when they come home, so she sits by the front door and waits.  Her stomach growls but she won’t move, the swell of panic squeezing out the air in her small chest.

 

She must’ve fallen asleep on the floor because when she hears the knock it’s dark out.  She sneaks a look out the window. It’s a policeman.

 

She opens the door a crack.  He tries to smile. “Is your mother or father at home?”

 

Rey shakes her head.  “Who’s watching you?” he says, kneeling down to look in her eyes.  Rey stays quiet. She doesn’t want to get them into trouble. Her mama told her never to talk to strangers, but she doesn’t know if a policeman counts as a stranger.

 

She lets him in and he looks around at the piles of clothes and garbage, the dirty dishes in the sink.  He helps her gather her things into a garbage bag. It isn’t much so it doesn’t take long.

 

She follows him outside and he tucks her in the backseat of the police car as he talks on the radio.  His red and blue lights are flashing in the night and she sees the glow reflect off the eyes of her neighbors as they stare in at her, curious.  

 

_They probably think she’s a bad girl and she’s in trouble._

_Bad girls sit in police cars, not good girls._

_Is she a bad girl?_

 

She wishes her mama and pop were here to answer.

 

_Please come back, please come back, please come back._

 

The policeman takes her to the station where he feeds her a hot dog.  Then another. She waits until a woman in a dark suit picks her up to drive her to her first foster home.

 

Rey waits and waits, but her parents never come back.

 

After a few years, she’s forgotten what they look like.  At night, desperate to sleep, she hunts for their memory, but finds only vague outlines, like shadows.  The more she focuses on their faces, the blurrier they get, leaving only an ache in her chest.

 

All that remains of them is a shadow and a dark, deep hole that can never be filled.  So she builds a wall around it instead.

 

\------------------

 

Once their records check out, the police release Kylo and Rey with a warning to be more careful.  They ask Rey if she’s okay. Kylo’s brow furrows, but she nods her head and they’re free to go.

 

They walk to Kylo’s car and he takes off his jacket and wraps it around her shoulders, rubbing his hands on her upper arms to warm her up.  She’s looking down and he kisses the top of her head, not missing her flinch. He opens the door for her and then turns on the heat to high because she’s trembling.

 

She hasn’t spoken yet.  “I think we should go to the hospital, you’ve had an emotional day, just to get checked out- ” She interrupts him.  “No, I want to go home.” She curls her knees into her chest under his jacket and looks out the window.

 

He parks in front of her apartment building and is turning off the engine when she shrugs off his jacket and opens the door suddenly, running away from him again.

 

He curses as he throws his door open to follow her, “Rey!  Wait a minute!” He runs up to the front door as it slams behind her, but it’s locked.  He presses his palms against the glass helplessly as she flies up the stairs.

 

A guy walks down the hall and pushes the front door open to leave, and Kylo brushes past him inside.  “Hey, you gotta buzz in, man!” the guy calls after him as Kylo takes two steps at a time to catch up to her, trailing the echo of Rey’s footsteps.  “Rey!”

 

He reaches the third floor landing just in time to hear a door slam.  He finds the source of the sound and walks to her door, leaning down in front of the peephole, panting.

 

“Rey, please open the door.”

 

Silence.

 

“I’m not going to leave until I know you’re okay.  Just tell me you’re alright, and I’ll go.”

 

Silence.  

 

He looks away and swallows thickly, his throat burning.  A dark cloud rises as she shuts him out again. He works his jaw in frustration.

 

In a flash, he remembers the desperate look in her eyes in the alley.  When she called herself a monster. His hands grip the door frame tightly, almost cracking wood.  A dark fire surges when he thinks of what he’ll do to Snoke for this, for hurting her, for making her feel like she’s nothing.

 

Snoke is the monster.  She’s a princess trapped in a castle by a dragon, and he’s got to break down the walls somehow.  He’s got to reach her, he just needs to find a way in.

 

And he knows what he has to do now.  

 

He turns back to the door, focused and sure.  “Baby, I’m going to wait right here for you to talk to me.  Even if it takes all night, even if I sleep out here. I’m going to wait for you.”

 

Muffled sounds.

 

He presses his ear to the door, the sound warping as he tries to make out movement, a voice, anything.  He hears it faintly, finally. A sob.

 

Kylo pulls back and bites his lip.  “Rey, come to the door. You don’t have to open it.  Just look at me through the peephole, okay?”

 

Silence.

 

He doesn’t know if she’s there.  He tries to feel for her warmth through the door, but it’s just a hope.  He thinks the door slightly creaks on the hinges.

 

“I remember the first time I saw you, at Starkiller.  You were looking down as you walked in and were all lit up with the sun.  Remember? Shit, you were so gorgeous I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

 

Silence.  Kylo looks down as he lowers his voice.

 

“You walked right up behind me, like you were mine.  And then you were so furious, staring me down at the bar, so fucking brave.  I’m not going to lie, you were the hottest woman I’d ever seen. You could’ve killed me or fucked me right there, I wouldn’t have cared either way.”

 

Silence.  Kylo takes a deep breath and looks up to the ceiling as if for strength.  He pauses as a guy from an upper floor passes behind him. They exchange courteous, awkward nods.  He has no shame from his words, he’d yell them from the rooftops.

 

“When I met you for coffee, even though I was dying to touch you, I knew there was more to this, _more to us_ , than just that.  You’re so brilliant, Rey, so smart, _so good_ , you don’t even know.  You challenged me, and your mind’s voracious, and creative, like a beautiful machine.”

 

Silence, but the door creaks.

 

“Rey, you need to open the door if you don’t want your neighbors to hear the next part.”  

 

He leans in closer and lowers his voice.  “When you grabbed me in the back room at Starkiller, God, I never wanted anyone like that.  You touched me and you set me on fire, baby. I had to touch you, and taste you, and fuck you . . .”

 

The door is rattling and she’s undoing locks when it opens suddenly.  He leans back but keeps his arms braced around the frame.

 

Rey leaves the safety chain on between them.  Her lip is trembling and there are tears running down her face, but she also looks furious.  She pants out little breaths on the tipping point between anger and grief.

 

He talks to her over the chain, caressing her with his words.  “When you let me touch you, you took me. You own me, I’m yours.  You feel it too, I know you do.”

 

Rey’s lips press together as she tries to stop the quivering.   

 

He stares down at her and his voice cracks.  “I’m not a good man, Rey. I’m not good enough for you.  I don’t have anything that somebody else can’t give you, and better.  But what I have is yours. And I’ll work to be a better man to deserve you, to earn the right to call you mine.  If you just let me try.”

 

She starts to cry.  “Don’t say that, it’s not you.”

 

“Baby, I want _you,_ all of it, the good and the bad.  I love you, _because_ of it all.  I’ll wait out here all night just to prove it to you.  You can’t scare me away.”

 

The tears fall as her eyes beg him to believe.

 

“Please, _please_ let me in, Rey.”

 

They stand there frozen in time as Rey teeters on the edge.  Then her hand floats up to unhook the chain keeping him out and she holds the door open.

 

He rushes in, bending down low to scoop her up and wrap his arms around her back to cursh her into him.  She loops her arms around his shoulders and buries her face in his neck as the sobs rip out of her, shaking in his arms as her feet dangle a foot off the ground.  Their chests press together, no space left between them now, as her tears soak his collar.  He slides her down to the floor for a moment just to change his grip, then reaches his arm under her knees to carry her.  He kicks the door closed and walks back to her bedroom.

 

\------------------

 

The room is cluttered with stacks of books and mounds of clothes, and he doesn’t care.

 

He lays her down gently on the unmade bed and curls up beside her as her fingers twist in his collar to hold him close.  He kisses her temple and cheeks and uses his fingertips to wipe away her tears.  She tastes salty and sweet, like the beach after a rain.   

 

When her sobs fade away to sniffles, she brings up a hand to brush his hair from his eyes.  Her fingertips trace his jaw. “I like the scruff but I like seeing your face, too,” she says quietly.  He leans down and kisses her, getting a sweet smile in return, then brushes his nose across her cheek.

 

He slowly strips off her clothes, jeans first, tenderly as if she might break if he’s not careful.  He stands up to undress, bowtie first, then crawls back to her.  She reaches up for a kiss, but he pulls her back to his chest instead.  He just wants to hold her.  They lay quietly as his index finger traces light circles along her hips and stomach, carving in his name. _Mine._

 

She gets up and leads him into her tiny bathroom.  

 

They shower together, exhausted and spent.  They take turns washing each other and scrubbing away the residue of the day, the dirt and sweat and tears all blending together and flowing down the drain in a swirl.  They wrap up in her mismatched towels and pad back to the bedroom.

 

Too tired to get dressed, they curl up naked in her queen bed as he cocoons her in tight and safe in the blankets and his arms.  She nuzzles into his chest and he feels her eyelashes brush his skin like butterflies as she blinks.

 

They stay that way for hours.  She tells him everything.  Once she starts talking about her parents and the police, she can't stop, it's like a waterfall of words pours out of her and washes over him.

 

How her parents were drug dealers and left her.  How she's been triggered by police ever since that night.  How she was shuttled around from foster home to foster home, never finding a family.

 

Her voice becomes very small, a cord strung tight.  "The Morrisons were a nice older couple.  They fostered me and wanted to adopt me.  But I was fourteen and angry.  So lonely.  I started partying with these kids from school and one night I offered to drive us into town.  I didn't have a license, I didn't even know how to drive."  She's quiet.  "I stole their car and totaled it.  I woke up in the hospital, lucky no one was hurt.  But they wouldn't look at me again.  Their eyes said it all, how I was too much to handle, how I fucked it all up.  I wasn't theirs after all."

 

He looks down and tilts her chin up so he can meet her gaze.  He pins her down, not letting her look away from him.  He feels her melt in relief at what she sees there and he kisses her.

 

She was sent to juvenile detention then back into the system.  When she talks about juvie, his fingers dig into her back so hard that she squirms.  She was charged with assault for standing up to a bully, even though the girl swung first.  "By then I was used to life not being fair," she says plainly.  He has to swallow hard.

 

She got out of juvie and was sent to a group home.  Her files were sealed.  She met a math teacher in her high school who encouraged her and helped her apply for scholarships.  Rey got out of New Mexico and started over again in Boston.  And then she met him.

 

She yawns.  They are quiet and still, together.  He feels the weight of her in his arms, and it’s enough for him.  It’s everything.

 

As he combs her hair with his fingers, she lifts her chin to kiss his neck softly.  She sighs and he feels her hot breath just under his ear.  She whispers the words that her body has already told him.   _“I love you.  So much.”_  

 

He squeezes her in tightly in response and they fall asleep like that, complete at last.

 


	16. Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience with this chapter. They deserve some cake, don't they?   
> \--------------  
> He turns around to hold her as she continues. “I’m strong, I can take it. Let them do whatever. I love you, we’re together and that’s it.”
> 
> His arms tighten around her waist. “Say it again.”
> 
> She knows the words he wants to hear.
> 
> “I do. I love you.” She says it like she’s explaining something, clearing up his confusion.
> 
> He kisses her neck, his voice muffled. “Again.”
> 
> She sighs it. “I love you.”
> 
> His hands loosen the belt of her robe as he kisses down to her breast. “Again.”
> 
> “Ohh . . . I love you,” she says breathlessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love this story, will you consider sharing it? Only two chapters left.
> 
> Tell me what you think in comments or on Tumblr at @newerconstellations. I love to hear from you! :)
> 
> \---------------
> 
> Thanks to my smutmom betas: @strawberrycupcakehuckleberrypie and @Raven-Maiden and to my local smutcoven, you know who you are. ;)

The early morning sun filters through the blinds of Rey’s bedroom, golden rays catching motes of dust dancing in the air. A motorcycle revs its engine in the distance. The apartment is quiet, the only sound his deep breaths behind her. She’s on her back, Kylo’s heavy arm wrapped around her bare waist, both an anchor and a shield. Rey blinks at the dancing light, drowsy and warm. Safe.

He stayed. 

He refused to get pushed away like everyone else. Kylo told her through the door he would wait all night if he had to, that he wouldn’t leave her. And something clicked inside, the security of his words the key she needed to finally unlock herself. 

She showed him all her dark corners, and he stayed anyway. 

Waking up in his arms, safe in her home, is like a fresh start. 

He’s on his stomach, dark locks pitched over his eyes. She lifts a fingertip to brush back his hair, his face so young and open without the goatee. She drinks in every angle and slope, savoring him, her heart swelling in her tight chest. 

She carefully slips out from under his arm, picking over piles of their clothes. She finds his bowtie and pinches it between her fingers to feel the silk slide. She carries it with her to the bathroom.

When she rinses off her toothbrush, she looks at herself in the mirror and finger combs her bed-tossed hair. She wets her hands and washes away the residual smear of mascara from under her eyes, that last little bit that waits a day to reveal itself. She stops to consider her reflection.

Her eyes are still puffy from crying. Her face is pale. Her hair is frizzy and tangled. Despite all that, her chapped lips smile.

There is no dark voice in her head, ripping and tearing, telling her she’s nothing. In this moment, she’s good enough. Good enough for him, but more importantly, good enough for herself.

She never expected that opening up to him would make her feel strong. Something awakened in her by owning her story. Being honest is like breaking a spell, banishing the shadows of shame and regret by dragging them out into the light and naming them. 

She slayed her own dragons. For the first time, she isn’t ashamed of the girl looking back at her in the morning light. 

And he stayed.

Rey leans down under the sink rifling through boxes and bottles, until she stands up holding a brand new toothbrush in a box. She leaves it where he’ll find it. 

Rey picks up his bowtie and loops the fabric around her neck. After a few tries at a bow, gives up and leaves it hanging like a necklace.

She tiptoes back to the bedroom, and he’s still asleep on his belly. She crawls up next to him and kneels, pushing down the covers to show just the hint of his ass, his firm cheeks winking up at her. 

Rey leans down and plants gentle kisses at the top of his ass, kissing a path up the thick muscles of his back. He stirs, shifting hips side to side, and she straddles his waist. She kisses his shoulder blades and starts rubbing circles with her thumbs, massaging out the knots under his warm skin. He turns his head down to groan into the pillow. 

She kisses his shoulders and takes small bites of his juicy deltoids. He reaches his arms back to clutch her thighs. Leaning forward, she rasps her already hard nipples against his bare back as she sucks at his neck. Her legs hug him tight under her hot pussy and she gives him a love bite as he curses into the pillow. 

Rey comes up for air and rises to kneeling as he rolls over underneath her to pull her down against his crotch. She feels his hard cock poke against her ass as he kneads her hips. She combs his hair back from his sleepy eyes as he smiles up at her, dreamily.

“Hi, baby,” he says.

“Good morning,” she whispers, stealing a tender kiss, sucking on his sweet bottom lip.

His hands squeeze a path down to her thighs and back to her hips. She feels his erection lifting up against her ass and starts to rock back and forth, teasing him.

He sees his bowtie hanging loose around her neck and smiles. “Going somewhere?”

She doesn’t break eye contact when she shakes her head slowly. “No, never. Help me tie it.”

His hands reach for her throat as she leans down. She bites her lower lip and stares at him as he furrows his brow and fumbles. He whispers, “fuck,” and she giggles. Finally he says, “good enough,” and she sits up. 

His easy smile plants roots and blooms on his face. “You look like a gift.”

“Just for you,” she purrs.

She leans back and turns her head to catch her reflection in the mirror hung on her closet door. The bowtie is slightly crooked, and she’s naked, but she likes what she sees. She can see his dick pressing up at her, so she rocks her hips and he groans.

She turns back and he’s still staring at her. She catches his hands on her thighs and laces their fingers together, palm to palm.

“How’d you sleep?” She asks as she rocks her hips against him.

“Like a log,” he says, voice rough.

“Good, baby.” She dips down for another kiss.

Soft, light kisses, her tongue darting out to wet her own lips first, delicate presses as she pauses often to breathe him in. She nibbles and licks, enjoying his taste as she squeezes his waist between her thighs. His palms grip her tightly. 

She walks her knees back until she sits gently on his hard cock, the tip pressing into his belly. She kicks the sheet down and rocks, rubbing her hot center on his length, back and forth.

His eyes flutter closed as he lets out a moan and Rey’s breath speeds up. She squeezes his hands as she tips her hips to drag her wetness achingly slowly along him. He’s hot and hard, parting her dripping folds. She can’t ignore the empty ache for long.

She looks down at his cock beneath her, sliding along her seam, and then meets his eyes. His pupils are wide and gaze hungry. She rocks her hips faster and then leans forward to pin his arms to the bed on either side of his head. She goes for his mouth, faster and demanding now, tongues moving past each other for a deeper taste.

Rey arches her back and pushes her belly into his to line him up with her dripping pussy, releasing a hand to put him in place as she sinks down on his cock. “Fuck, Rey” he says as she encircles him with her wet heat. He splits her open, and she moans in response.

Her free hand comes up to his cheek as she fucks him slow and steady, reveling in how he fills her completely. He bends his knees behind her ass and pushes his heels into the bed to meet her thrusts with a sharp buck of his hips. 

Her hand drifts to lightly hold his throat, staking her claim. She kisses him then pulls back with a gasp as she adds her full body weight to his cock. His mouth parts in wonder, and she smiles down at him wickedly.

She rides him and her ass pushes down harder on each thrust, adding more force with a snap of her hips. His dark eyes bore into her. He reaches up a hand to pinch and twist her nipple, like he knows she likes, and her head tilts back, whining at his touch. 

He frees his other hand and it flies down to where he enters her, tracing her lips as they swallow up his cock, slick where they meet. She whines again as he circles her clit.

Rey’s hands move to his waist to help her move faster, gliding up and down, the wet, lewd noises of their bodies filling the room. She makes little panting sounds as he picks up speed on her clit, her hips slamming down harder. 

“That’s it, good girl,” he says, “come baby,” and Rey keens and clenches around him, so close now.

His hand moves to her other breast, pinching and twisting like he owns her, rough in his enthusiasm, but she loves it. She arches her back to change the angle and starts bouncing on his cock as his hands work her over. Her mind blanks and she gives in to feeling him.

She’s almost there, tipping on the edge, when she says almost desperately, “Tell me you love me. Tell me.”

He looks her in the eyes and rasps out, “I love you, Rey, I love you so much.”

She cries out and comes, clenching him in deeper, as she throws her head back. The roll of her hips slows down as she leans forward and he cups her face tenderly, kissing her through her sated smile.

He hugs her to his chest as she pants, kissing her neck over and over again, then rolls them over. She wraps around him as he enters her and pumps into her fast and deep, fucking into her until he freezes, pulsing and grunting, and her hands dig into his chest. She smiles up at him and coos.

He lays down next to her on the pillow and tugs her in closer, hand caressing her thigh as it drapes over his hip. He softens inside her and stretches to kiss her shoulder while her fingers lightly scratch his back. 

“That bowtie, goddamn,” he says softly.

She laughs.

\-----------------------

Rey’s starving but she doesn’t want to put clothes on. It’s noon and they haven’t left the bedroom yet.

“I’m gonna go hunt you up some food, like a proper caveman,” he says.

“Okay, I’ll get cleaned up,” she replies.

“You better fucking not. I want you smelling like us when I get back.”

She makes a face. “You are a caveman.”

He grunts for effect and she laughs.

Once he’s left with her keys, she stretches out long on the bed, wiggling fingers and toes, enjoying the lazy morning. She curls the covers around her like a nest and sinks in deeper. 

She’s thinking she should make him an extra set of keys when her phone buzzes, a text from Rose asking if she’s okay. Rey texts back, reassuring her she’s fine and will call her later. She hears the door open and bags rustle. 

She slips on a robe and walks out to find Kylo carrying a feast.

“What the hell?” she says, astounded.

“I see how you eat,” he crinkles up his eyes as he smiles. “Gotta keep your stamina up, woman.”

He lays out coffee, bagels and cream cheese, smoked salmon, fruit, salad, an omelet, bacon, french fries, and small chocolate cake. She stares at her countertop covered in boxes and he shrugs, “I didn’t know what you’d like.” 

“So you bought everything?”

“Gotta feed my baby,” he says. She stretches up on tiptoes and clasps her hands behind his neck and kisses the smile off his face. He cups her ass and pulls her into him while bowing down over her to deepen the kiss. “Eat,” he says and she obeys.

The sit at her small table with mismatched chairs. She puts her feet in his lap and he rubs her calves and the arches of her feet absentmindedly. 

“Kylo,” she starts.

“Mmm.”

“You told the cops I’m your girlfriend.”

His eyes flick up at her as he puts down his fork. “Well, you are, aren’t you?”

She tilts her head. “Yeah, but we never talked about it.”

He lifts his eyebrows at her. “Your entire building knows I love you, so I think you know where I stand.”

She smiles and kisses his cheek. “Okay, boyfriend.”

“Right,” he nods and strokes her calves. He starts eating again.

She nibbles on the side of her mouth. “What are we going to do?”

He takes a sip of coffee. “Today? I thought some more sex.”

She rolls her eyes at his smirk. “No, about the First Order.”

“So no more sex?” He makes puppy-dog eyes.

She slaps his arm. “Kylo! Stop deflecting.”

He puts down his fork and looks at her seriously. “Don’t worry. I’m going to take care of it.” He reaches out to brush her cheek and she frowns.

“What are you going to do about it?”

He sighs. “Rey, I don’t want you involved. I’ll figure something out. They’ve done enough harm to you as it is.”

“So you don’t know?” She presses him.

He scowls. “Not yet, but it’s my problem. Not yours.” He looks at his plate and says in a low voice, “I can’t take them hurting you anymore.”

She pulls her feet off his lap and leans in. “It’s our problem. Ours. And we can fix it together.”

He presses his mouth closed, then stands up to rinse of his plate at the kitchen sink. She follows right behind.

“They’re threatening us both. We’re in this together. I want to help.”

He turns off the faucet and leans on the sink, his head dropping. She walks up and hugs him from behind, arms wrapping around his waist. “I want to have your back,” she whispers.

He exhales loudly and rubs her arms on his stomach. “I want to protect you. I’m sick about what they did. It’s gutting me.”

“Shhh, I know. We’re together.” She gives him a tight squeeze. “I don’t care what they do to me anymore, I don’t.” 

He turns around to hold her as she continues. “I’m strong, I can take it. Let them do whatever. I love you, we’re together and that’s it.”

His arms tighten around her waist. “Say it again.”

She knows the words he wants to hear.

“I do. I love you.” She says it like she’s explaining something, clearing up his confusion.

He kisses her neck, his voice muffled. “Again.”

She sighs it. “I love you.”

His hands loosen the belt of her robe as he kisses down to her breast. “Again.”

“Ohh . . . I love you,” she says breathlessly.

He kneels before her and reaches around to cup her ass as he sucks her other breast into his mouth. “Again.”

She whimpers when his kisses track downwards to her navel and below, spreading her thighs wide with the backs of his hands. She threads a hand in his hair as the other clutches the countertop to hold her up on weak knees. “I love you,” she says it, loud and clear.

“Keep telling me,” he says and covers her mound with his mouth, tongue flicking out to swirl and lave at her clit.

“Oh, God, I love you,” she nearly keens as he sucks her in, one hand playing with her hot seam while he squeezes her ass to press her cunt into his mouth, feasting on her. He guides one of her legs over his shoulder to open her up.

“I love you, baby, I love you,” Rey starts panting and his fingers slide inside her pussy, wet and sticky and begging for him. He hums and she gasps.

He’s fucking her with his hand and mouth and she’s scrabbling on the tile as she starts to buck her hips in time with his tongue. She closes her eyes and whines out, “I love you so much, so fucking much.”

He hums again and she’s thrusting her hips in time with him as her legs start to tremble, his two fingers curling forward inside her like he’s beckoning for her to come.

She tightens around his slick fingers, and he doesn’t ask anymore but she can’t stop telling him. “I love you, baby, I love you. God, I do.”

He’s proficient in her body and she’s almost there when her legs start to tremble. He sucks her clit hard and she comes, crashing down on his fingers as her eyes blink up at the ceiling unfocused, and she gasps out, “Oh, Oh God, oooh, I love you, I love youuuuu.”

He slows down his thrusts and sucks her down nice and easy as she pants and curves over his shoulder. He stands up and hugs her on unsteady legs, his hard-on pushing into her stomach. She puts her arms around his neck and he wraps his arms around her back to lift her off the floor and carry her to the bedroom, her feet dangling uselessly.

She slides out of his arms and helps strip him until he’s bare. They lay in a tangle on the bed as he kisses her languidly, taking his time. She pushes him onto his back and takes his cock down her throat in one gulp, sucking until her cheeks hollow out. He groans and holds her hair back from her face so he can watch. 

“Fuck, baby, how am I so lucky?” he whispers, rapt. He comes fast in her mouth, fingers knotted in her hair as she looks up at him and swallows. She crawls up to lay on his chest as he pants and listens as his heartbeat slows under her cheek.

\----------------------------

Kylo’s in the bathroom later when Rey hears his phone ping on her bedside table. She reads the text alert before it disappears from the screen.

D. Mitaka: Kylo, call me. I don’t know what to do about Snoke. Call me!

Rey stiffens. She doesn’t know who Mitaka is, but she feels a stab of fear. 

Her stomach twists as she remembers Hux’s snide grin and his words meant to slice and cut. 

Snoke owns Kylo now.

If Kylo decides to blow himself up and leave, then I get to be the one to destroy his name and reputation. 

He’ll hold it against you that you ruined his career, even if he says he doesn’t.

She bites the corner of her mouth. The shock of the gala echoes through her, but instead of sadness she feels a new emotion boiling up. 

Anger. 

She seethes when she thinks of Hux and Snoke.

How dare they try to break us up? How dare they try to hurt Kylo? 

Who the fuck do they think they are?

She throws off the covers and stalks to the bathroom as he walks out.

“We’re not going to let those bastards win,” she says with conviction, the anger coursing through her.

He looks concerned. “Okay, Rey, let’s just-”

“No, fuck them. Fuck them. They don’t get away with this.” 

He sighs, “I don’t see much of a way out of this, to be honest. I won’t let them ruin your life.”

She’s emphatic. “No, no way. We aren’t giving up. We’re going to take them down.”

He shakes his head. “Snoke’s too smart for that. He’s got too many connections. Nothing sticks to him, he’s like teflon.”

“Who’s Mitaka?” She gestures to his phone. 

“A guy I work with.” He reads the text. “Huh. Let me call him.”

Rey paces and bites her thumb as Kylo speaks to Mitaka in hushed tones.

When he hangs up, he turns to her, voice a rumble. “Snoke is setting me up. He’s pressuring Mitaka to say that I plagiarized some of my designs. They’re going to ambush me Monday.”

“What?!” 

“Yeah, he and Hux are going to say I stole the work that got me the MacArthur. Just to fucking twist the knife if I don’t sign the contract.”

“They can’t do that, Kylo, they just can’t.”

He shrugs, the darkness swallowing him up as she watches. His eyes look sunken and resigned. “With three witnesses against one, they can do what they want. They’re forging documentation. The press will eat it up. And if I took them to court and years later I’m vindicated, nobody cares by then. The damage is already done.” 

Her mind is swirling, her gut clenched at the thought of him staying at the First Order. “What can we do?”

“Nothing, I have to sign the contract. I can’t let them rip you apart in the press, and they’ll destroy me anyway.” He sits down on her sofa and puts his head in his hands. “They’ve got me, Rey, they own me now.”

She runs up and grabs his wrists. “No, they don’t. I won’t allow it. We’re going to fight this.”

He looks up, defeated. His eyes are so sad she wants to cry, but instead it stokes her anger. 

“We’re going to destroy them. I know we can.” She scowls.

“How?” he asks plainly.

Her mind is racing, grasping at straws. “Who do you know at First Order who wants out, besides you? What about Mitaka?”

“He’s terrified of Snoke, but he hates it there, too. There’s a few others maybe.”

“Okay, you need to talk to them. See if you can find an ally. If there’s anything we can use to throw back in their faces.”

He nods. 

“And I think,” She pauses, choosing her words carefully. “I think you need to call your family. They’re well connected in this town, they may know someone who can help.”

He looks down and shakes his head. “I cut them off, I may as well be dead to them. I’m gone.”

Rey sits down on the couch and wraps her hands around his. “No one’s ever really gone, Kylo. They care about you, I know it. Luke cares about you still. When it comes down to it, they will help. I know it.”

He sighs. “Maybe. They do have friends in the press.”

Rey thinks. Seeing him get pulled down into the darkness is too much for her. She has to rescue him somehow, she has to find a way. 

His words echo in her head. Friends.

“I need to call Finn and Rose. I have an idea, maybe we can turn their nasty tricks back at them.” She looks up at him fiercely and sets her jaw. “The First Order is going to pay for what they’ve done to us.”

He smiles wryly at her. “When did you get to be such a warrior?”

“When they threatened what I love,” she says, squeezing his arm. “You’ve fought for me, now I get to fight for you. Let’s get to work, we have one day left.”

\----------------------------

They spend the afternoon making calls and plotting. They make new allies and call up old friends, slowly formulating a plan that may work. 

There’s one piece that involves his family, and he resists her. 

He shakes his head. “No, Rey, I don’t want you to go through this. It’s too much. You can’t expect me to just sit there and do nothing why I watch you get tortured, powerless to stop it.”

She strokes his arms reassuringly. “Kylo, let me do this. It’s my choice. It’s the only way, but it’s also what I want.”

He still shakes his head at her.

“You have to call them, Kylo. We need this.” She looks at him imploringly. His shoulders rise with tension as he studies her, but he walks over to pick up his phone.

She watches him dial and hears a woman’s hoarse voice say, “Ben?”

“Hi Mom,” he says, lifting his eyes to Rey. “It’s me. I have to talk to you.” He walks into the bathroom and closes the door. 

Rey sits on the bed, giving him the space he needs. She holds her breath and fists the sheets a few times when his voice rises and leaks out from under the door. She can’t tell if he’s accusing or defending, and the sounds gradually taper off into low murmurs and sighs. 

When he finally comes out he looks exhausted, but the tension gone. He leans against the wall. “They’re going to help us,” he says, and she runs into his arms with a squeal.

\----------------------------

They don’t leave her apartment all day. He bought enough food for days and they’re together, so they have everything they need. 

They scrub each other’s backs in the shower, slick bodies sliding under hands and against legs. Then head into the kitchen wrapped in towels to eat again.

Finishing the salmon and fruit, they feed each other chocolate cake. He licks the crumbs off her fingers, and she kisses the icing off his mouth. His lips are made even sweeter, nearly irresistible, and her fingers lock behind his neck as she stares in his warm cocoa eyes.

How right it is, how perfect it feels, to see and be seen by this man, to have those pretty eyes know her and call her his own. 

She realizes that belonging to someone can be its own act of bravery.

Rey’s brave now, a warrior.

They’re clean, but can’t help mess up the sheets again anyway, drunk on each other and the high of their hearts and bodies finally moving in sync. Hands grasping and rubbing, they grow hard and wet as they twist up sugary sweet tongues and stoke the hunger for each other again. 

He sits on the edge of the bed and turns her around and pulls her hips back to his lap. They stare into the mirror on her closet door, seeing and being seen.

He kisses her shoulder as she presses her thighs tightly together and sinks down slowly, so slowly, on his hard cock, savoring every inch. He groans as he clasps her hips, his eyes locked to hers in the mirror. 

She meets his gaze in the mirror. She drapes an arm back to grasp the back of his neck and he cups her breasts. They both watch as she circles her hips and grinds down on him, gasping when he pinches a nipple. He’s the snake charmer, and she’s the cobra, and she revels in how he commands her body.

He lifts her up and then pushes her down on his throbbing cock, snaking a finger forward to circle her clit. She bites her lower lip and whimpers at how good the stretch feels. He kisses her neck then captures her eyes in the mirror again.

Lifting her up again, he pushes her down slowly, fingers digging into her waist. “You feel like heaven,” he whispers in her ear as she moans, “so good, so good for me.” 

He slides her up and down again, filling her up and driving deeper. “I can never get enough. You got me, I’m yours.” His eyes burn into her through the mirror. 

She possessively squeezes the back his neck. “Mine,” she says, and braces herself with her feet to pick up the pace of his thrusts, helping him fuck her harder. 

He nods under her hand, agreeing. “All yours.”

She pushes into his thighs and leans forward to brace herself, tilting her ass back for him to hit a deeper angle. He pounds into her as her breasts bounce and she pants “Yes, yes, yesss,” when he hits against her front walls in the spot that feels the best.

She cries out as she comes, arching her back and pulsing around him as she milks him in deeper, and he grabs a breast and comes with a shout, pushing her down as he throbs in her cunt. 

He wraps her in his arms and lays back on the bed, cradling her safe and sound, seen and beloved against his chest as they drift off to sleep, both their stomachs and their hearts full.


	17. Burn it down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo & Rey face down Snoke & the First Order.
> 
> Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for your patience and support of this fic!
> 
> This is essentially complete. There will be one epilogue.
> 
> Remember Kaydel from the Awards Banquet? She wasn't just Poe's date. :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this story, please share your thoughts below or on Tumblr: @NewerConstellations.
> 
> I'm also posting a lovely little smut comic, enjoy!   
> https://newerconstellations.tumblr.com/post/177810181690/thank-you-stay-low-fans
> 
> Make sure to check out my other fics in progress and subscribe to my user profile to get updates in your inbox:
> 
> [steer from the passenger side](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14991710/chapters/34746017) \- sweaty desert longing that’s about to fire up.
> 
>  
> 
> [down an inch, up an inch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15744702/chapters/36610989) \- A/B/O bang fest with respectful Alpha Ben
> 
>  
> 
> Happy Birthday, Baby - second slice coming soon (get the first piece [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15524190))
> 
>  
> 
> Mystery Reylo Anthology ficlet - dropping at the end of September, sweet and smutty. Stay tuned!

Early Monday morning, Kylo pulls up to Rey’s apartment and parks. 

 

As he idles the Tesla, he pulls down the visor and combs fingers through his messy hair in a futile attempt to tame it.  His tired eyes stare back at him from the small mirror, the dark bags underneath contrasting with the pallor of his face.  He rubs a hand over the weekend’s worth of stubble on his chin and grimaces. He feels as worn out as he looks. 

 

They spent last night apart, but not by his choice.  Rey needed space to lick her wounds after an emotional Sunday, and he respected that she asked him for that.  For someone who spent so much of her life alone, the events since the disaster at the gala had been a lot to process.  He understood, even though he could barely stand to say goodbye. 

 

Kylo walked her to her door.  Eyes red-rimmed and swollen from crying, she had sobbed on his shoulder while he kissed her forehead and rubbed fingertips down her back.  He’d understood what she needed and he let her go, despite the pain it caused him to leave her.

 

When he returned home Sunday night, he found his signed resignation letter from the First Order on the dining room table where he had left it before the Gala, a grim reminder of what they would face on Monday.  

 

Today’s the day.

 

He reaches for his phone to dial Rey.  Her picture flashes on his screen, the photo he took in the car before the gala when the sun had kissed her like a blessing and her smile was radiant.  How different then from the sad girl who trembled in his arms last night. 

 

He fists his hands as he remembers.  Time to end Snoke, and Hux, and all of it.  No matter what happens, he is done with First Order, for good.  He’s going to make Snoke and Hux pay for what they did to them.

 

He dials Rey.

 

“Hey, babe,” she answers.  “Are you here?”

 

“Out front,” he says and peers up at her window.  He sees the blinds move and she waves down at him.

 

“Okay, Rose and Kaydel are just finishing up.  Down soon.”

 

He taps his fingers idly on the steering wheel as he waits.  When she finally opens the door and slides in next to him, she’s dressed in a leather moto jacket, hair pulled up in a top knot, and slim dark jeans tucked into black boots.  She puts down her hobo bag at her feet to reach for him.

 

Hand cupped behind his neck, pushing his cheek into hers, she whispers, “I missed you.”

 

He closes his eyes and exhales, then breathes her in as his lips caress her cheek.  “We’re never going to be apart again.”

 

She kisses his cheek and sits back.  “Well, how do I look?” she asks. Under the veneer of bravado, he sees her eyes waver.  

 

“Ready to kick some ass,” he says gruffly.

 

Rey nods at him as she puts on her seatbelt, then faces forward as she sets her jaw.  “Let’s do this.”

 

\--------------------------------

 

They ride in silence.  Rey reaches over and takes his right hand where it sits on the console, lacing their fingers as she squeezes.  He didn’t realize how tightly he was wound until her touch relaxes him.

 

He swallows the lump in his throat.  They’re together in this, wholeheartedly.  The thought exhilarates him, but he can’t push down the sickening fear that rises when he thinks of what she’s been put through already because of him, and what she’ll face today.  

 

“Rey, you don’t have to go through with this.  It’s not too late to stop. I can do this alone.”

 

She turns and answers quickly.  “No. They came after both of us, I’m not letting them get away with it.  We’re going to make them pay, together.”

 

He glances over, and she’s facing forward, steeling herself for her unseen enemy.  “And besides, I want to do this. This is for me, too.”

 

She’s lovely in her fierceness, his avenging angel.

 

Switching topics, he asks, “Kaydel had no problems with the set-up?” 

 

“No, she knows what she’s doing.  Rose helped with the test.” 

 

“You have some really great friends,” Kylo says, his right thumb brushing the back of her hand.

 

“I do,”  Rey agrees, as she squeezes his fingers tightly.  “And it’s a good thing your family wanted to help, too.  They care about you, even now . . . Ben.”

 

His eyes dart over to her, but his defensiveness melts away at the look on her face.  She’s smiling softly, as if she’s tentatively testing him, but her expression is gentle.  His true name in her voice doesn’t feel like a wound. 

 

He pulls around to the First Order building and parks.  As he reaches to open his door, Rey’s hand flies to his forearm and stops him.  Her eyes are imploring and serious.

 

“No matter what happens in there, or what they say to us, you have to let them talk.  Don’t react or lash out. Let them say what they’re going to say, okay?”

 

He works his jaw as he glowers.  “I’m not sure I can hold back if they attack you,” he says in a low voice.  “I just can’t sit there and watch that.”

 

Rey dips her head to catch his eyes again.  “Kylo, you have to. Their words can’t hurt us anymore.  Even if they yell, or I cry, don’t interrupt. I’m strong, I can take it.  This is how we take them out.”

 

He scowls but nods at her.  

 

They walk side-by-side into the First Order building.  Kylo’s mood darkens as he enters the threshold, the familiar toxicity enveloping him.  He can sense Rey stiffen as she feels the toxic energy, as well.

 

They step into the executive elevator, and he punches the button for Snoke’s floor.

 

As the white lights flash in the elevator, Rey reaches for his hand again.

 

“Did you talk to Mitaka this morning?”  She asks.

 

“Yes, he’s on board.”  Kylo says.

 

“Good,” she says with an exhale.  “This is really happening.”

 

As if the touch of her hand in his is a magic spell, or a trick of sorcery, the dark cloud that surrounds him in the First Order starts to clear.  Snoke can’t touch this bond he has with her. They can’t touch their love. No matter what they try to do, they can’t truly hurt them. It’s Rey and him against the world, back to back, and the First Order doesn’t stand a chance.

 

The elevator stops on the top level and they stride out to Snoke’s office.

 

Gwen Phasma sits at a desk outside the large, black double doors.  Her expression is drawn and stony, but her eyes are huge and liquid.

 

She stands up abruptly and rushes up to Kylo, whispering in a low voice.  “He and Hux are waiting for you. They’ve been there for an hour.” 

 

Rey grips Kylo’s hand tighter and takes a step closer to his side.  

 

“Did Mitaka call you?  He won’t answer my texts,” Phasma whispers frantically as her eyes flicker over his face.

 

Kylo lowers his voice, an undercurrent of threat pulling beneath his words.  “Gwen, you’re better served thinking of yourself right now. I’d recommend getting your files in order.”

 

Her eyes grow wider.  He makes a move toward the door, and she says, “Rey can wait out here with me-- “

 

“I’m with him,” Rey says assuredly.

 

Gwen takes a few unsure steps back, and hurries to her desk to buzz them in as she announces through the intercom, “Sir, Kylo Ren is here.”

 

Kylo pushes open the double doors before placing a hand on Rey’s lower back to walk her into the office.  She matches his long strides as they walk shoulder-to-shoulder up to Snoke, seated at the far end of the room at a massive desk. 

“Ahh, my young apprentice!”  Snoke’s voice drips with sarcasm.  “I was wondering if you were too much of a coward to come in today.  And you brought your _ little friend. _ ”

 

They stop before Snoke’s huge desk.  Hux stands to Snoke’s right flank, hands clasped behind his back and a snide grin pressed to his lips.  He has a black eye that undermines his intimidating glare.

 

“Hux and I were just talking about who we were going to call first if you didn’t show.  He thought local news, but I said, ‘Why limit ourselves! Think big!’ National tabloids first, then work your way down.”  Snoke suppresses a laugh. The sick excitement in his eyes turns Kylo’s stomach.

 

Rey hands Kylo a paper from her bag.  “I came to submit my resignation letter.  Note when it was signed.” Kylo walks forward to place the letter on Snoke’s desk.  As he turns to walk back, Rey gives him a small smile of encouragement. Her knuckles gripped around the shoulder strap of her bag have turned white.

 

“Resign?”  Snoke doesn’t even look at the letter.  “You pathetic child, you aren’t going anywhere.”

 

Snoke stands up and walks around the corner of the desk, his thin, spindly fingers dragging along the edge of the wood. 

 

“When you came to me, Ren, you were nothing.  A sad little boy who couldn’t get along with his mommy and daddy, whose own uncle had run him out of his school.  Weak. Foolish. Ben Solo, the failure.”

 

Kylo fists his hands but says nothing.  Rey takes a step closer to his side.

 

“You were  _ nothing. _  You gave up your past, but you had no future.  You were hopeless.”

 

Hux smiles at them and bounces on the balls of his toes, like a puppy asking for a treat.  Kylo forces himself to stare at Snoke before he throws another punch at the redhead.

 

“But I saw something in you that no one else did.  Raw, untamed talent. A vision. The finest materials that I could craft into something truly extraordinary.  So I took you on as a pet project. If it weren’t for me, apprentice, you would be back to nothing.”

 

Snoke walks around the massive desk to stand before them.  His pale blue eyes are full of menace and ice.

 

“Look at everything I gave you!  And how do you repay me for my generosity, for my tutelage?  By putting this skinny little slag ahead of the First Order. Her pussy must be made of sugar, or maybe you just don’t get fucked enough, Ren.”

 

Kylo snarls and lunges at him, but Rey grabs his arm as Snoke laughs.  “Oh, the mighty Kylo Ren, held back on a leash by his new little whore.  I guess my pet has a new master now.”

 

Rey steps between them and walks closer to Snoke, clutching her bag like a shield.

 

“Enough.  You’ve abused him for too long already.  He’s leaving you.” She juts her chin out at him, daring him to make a move.

 

Snoke picks up the resignation letter off the desk and makes a show of looking it over, eyebrows lifting theatrically.  “Oh, this you mean?” Then he meets Rey’s eyes and rips it down the middle into two distinct pieces, letting them flutter to the ground.  “Resignation  _ not  _ accepted.”

 

“You’re a monster,” Rey grits out as Snoke walks closer.  She takes a step back.

 

“You have  _ no idea, _ my dear.  Kylo doesn’t leave until I say he leaves.”

 

“You can’t stop me.  Not any more,” Kylo speaks up as he walks next to Rey, holding her back again.  “I’m done.”

 

Snoke narrows his eyes and looks back and forth between them, as his lips disappear in a tight slash.

 

“You’re both foolish, pathetic children.  You’d fuck up your own lives out of spite?  Ruin a perfectly profitable relationship because of  _ your feelings?! _  Disgusting.  Weak-minded fools.”

 

Snoke turns his head to Hux.  “Bring me the letters.”

 

Hux turns and picks up two file folders and hands them over to Snoke.  Kylo’s nostrils flare as he swallows his rage. He can feel Rey trembling under his palm.  He rubs his thumb back and forth, encouraging her, as he holds himself back.

 

_ Remember.  Let them have their say. _

 

“What I have are two letters, affidavits actually, from Hux and Mitaka stating that you stole their designs.  That you took credit for their work. We have documentation in the form of emails, rough sketches, and phone logs claiming you took their original drafts and used them for your MacArthur grant proposal.”

 

He hands out the file to Kylo, who flips through the pages.  His eyes flick back to Snoke. “These are lies.”

 

Snoke laughs.  “Well, of course they’re lies!  You think Hux and Mitaka could write their own names with a fucking crayon?!  Ha! No one could have done that work but you, but that doesn’t matter. Because they swore they did, and signed their names to their statements.  You’d have to take them to court to prove otherwise. My affidavit is in there, as well, by the way. So that’s three against one, Ren, if you’re keeping score.”

 

Rey lashes out at Snoke, “You can’t do that!  Those were his designs! You’ll get caught lying.”

 

Snoke shakes his head sadly, tsking at her with his tongue.  “Pretty but stupid, I’m afraid. By the time Ren finally sues and gets a trial, the court of public opinion will have already ruled.  He’ll be branded a plagiarizer and a liar. They’ll revoke his award, and he’ll be untouchable. There won’t be any reputation left to save.”

 

Before Kylo can react, Rey steps forward and pokes a finger in Snoke’s chest hard enough that he steps back.  A brief look of fear crosses his face like the shadow of a cloud passing overhead.

 

“You’re a nasty, bitter old man with no talent of your own.  Blackmailing him won’t make you any less of a cowardly bastard.”  She stares at him with her lip curled, feral and defiant.

 

Hux walks up to flank Snoke, and Rey turns on him, snarling.  “And you, groveling at his feet like a dog begging for any scraps you can get.  You’re going down as a liar, as well.”

 

Hux grinned.  “I’m a dog who knows where his next meal comes from.  Take a step back, Miss, before I’m forced to call security.”   

 

Kylo looms up behind Rey and growls out, “If you lay one single finger on her, Hux, I will break your hand and bust your other eye.”  

 

Hux flinches and Snoke lifts a hand to still them.  “Now, now, physical violence is so pedestrian and unnecessary.”

 

The moment hovers in tension until Snoke walks back around his desk and sits down, with a sigh.  “You’ve made your stupid choice then, Ren. How sad and avoidable. You’re digging your own grave.”  Snoke looks at Rey and smiles sickly. “And hers, too.”

 

Hux follows Snoke and can barely contain his glee.  “You want me to make the first call?”

 

Rey reaches into her bag, scrounging around for her phone.  Kylo looks at her, expectantly. She pulls it out and starts texting furiously.  

 

“Oh, Hux,” she looks up suddenly.  “Before you make that call, perhaps you should turn on the television.  There’s something you may find interesting.” 

 

Hux narrows his eyes.  “Oh, please, what kind of ridiculous trick . . .”

 

Rey doesn’t look up.  “You won’t want to miss this.  Channel Two. Good Morning, Boston.”

 

Hux looks to Snoke.  Snoke’s eyes narrow, but he nods.  Hux walks to the corner and flips on a television.

 

_ The image on the screen is Rey, sitting next to Kylo in his apartment, one of his arms draped around her shoulder and the other hand clasped between her palms in her lap.  _

 

_ A kind woman interviewer leans toward her.  “And what was that like for you? To feel so alone?” _

 

_ Rey reaches up a trembling hand and wipes a tear from her eye, as her voice wavers.  “I had always been alone, growing up. I believed I could count on myself. So when the adoption fell through, I was devastated.  I-- I felt I had messed up my one chance to have a normal, loving family.” _

 

_ Kylo rubs her shoulder as she wipes her tears away.  “Rey worked so hard. She never had anyone looking out for her, she had to make her own way.  I respect that so much about her.” _

 

_ The interviewer turns to him.  “And despite your differences, despite her past . . .” _

 

_ “I love her.  Completely. If anything, because of her past.  Because she had every reason to be dark, bitter, and resentful, but she isn’t.  She’s incredibly good and honest, and works harder than anyone I know. There’s nothing about her I don’t love.” _

 

_ Rey looks up at him and smiles.  He kisses her, and she turns back to the interviewer. _

 

_ “So winning this scholarship was like a redemption of a sorts?”  the woman asks. _

 

_ “The scholarship gave me a second chance.  To prove what I can do, and to earn my place here on my own.  I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity.” _

 

Their voices echo in the silent office, and Rey leans her head on Kylo’s shoulder as she wraps a hand around his bicep.  They watch together as Snoke and Hux are frozen solid. 

 

Even though it was just yesterday, even though they spent all Sunday doing interviews together for the major local channels and with  _ People Magazine _ , he still can’t believe how incredibly lucky he is to have her and how proud he is of her bravery.

 

Snoke gathers himself and yells, “Turn it off!”

 

Hux scrambles to flip the switch.

 

Standing and pushing his fingertips into the wood, Snoke leans forward as he loses control, and shrieks,  “You think you can beat me?! You can betray me?! I’ll destroy you both!”

 

Rey answers first.  “With what? With my dark, secret past?!  I just owned that.  _ It’s mine, _ not yours.  You can’t hurt me with it now.”

 

Snoke roars again at Hux, “Get the Enquirer on the phone!  We’ll go public with the affidavits!”

 

Kylo says slowly, “Perhaps your first call should be to Mitaka.”

 

Both Snoke and Hux halt.  Snoke snaps his head to Hux, “Where is Mitaka?  He should’ve been here by now.” Hux shrugs. 

 

“Find him,” Snoke snarls, and Hux jumps as he pulls out his phone to text.

 

“I’m blocked,” Hux says, eyes wide, and he looks up at Kylo astonished.

 

Kylo clears his throat.  “Mitaka called in sick to work today.  He asked me to let you know.”

 

He can’t help but smile at the stunned look on their faces.  “He also asked me to talk to HR to clarify if he’ll still receive benefits under whistleblower protection.”

 

Hux stumbles back a step as Snoke leans into his intercom to yell, “Phasma!  Where’s Mitaka? Get him in here right now!”

 

Phasma responds, voice wavering, “I don’t know sir, I haven’t seen him.  There, there are some men here from, uh, from the F.B.I. who wish to speak to you.  Should I have them wait until Kylo comes out?”

 

Snoke snaps back as if he’s been burned by the phone, then begins to pant.

 

Kylo steps forward.  “I’d encourage you to be honest with them, Ken.  Seeing as Mitaka has documentation that you’ve been pressuring him to sign false affidavits.  That’s coercing perjury, and conspiracy. I guess as fearful of you as he is, he fears jail even more.  

 

He takes another step forward as Snoke looks down at his desk, panting and in a daze.  “Not to mention that he turned over his laptop to the F.B.I. yesterday. Every email, every bribe you ordered him to give to secure permits, every falsified loan application, every fake shell company you established to avoid taxes, it’s all in the F.B.I.’s hands now.  If that’s not racketeering, it’s certainly criminal conspiracy. Mitaka turned witness to save himself.”

 

Hux makes a choking sound.  Kylo ignores him. “You should’ve known better than to push Mitaka to put his own neck on the line, after all the dirty work you’ve had him do for you over the years.  You can’t keep kicking a dog forever, before he turns and bites back.”

 

Snoke sits back in his high-backed chair, shaking and panting, all color drained from his already pallid face.  Hux wipes away sweat from his brow, looking nervously back between Snoke and Kylo, like a rat trapped in a cage.  

 

Rey stops texting and smiles.  “Oh, and if you try to deny what you did, we have our own proof.”

 

She holds up her cell phone and hits the play button.

 

Snoke’s voice calls out from her phone, the words he said just minutes before:

 

_ “Well, of course they’re lies!  You think Hux and Mitaka could write their own names with a fucking crayon?!  Ha! No one could have done that work but you, but that doesn’t matter. Because they swore they did, and signed their names to their statements.  You’d have to take them to court to prove otherwise. My affidavit is in there, as well, by the way. So that’s three against one, Ren, if you’re keeping score.” _

 

Rey pulls out microphone and a recording device marked “Property of Sound Department, MIT” from her bag.

 

“You told us yourself that the wheels of justice roll much slower than the court of public opinion.  We couldn’t get a wiretap approved in a day, but my friend’s recording device works just as well. I think that tape will play really well on the gossip shows, don’t you?  It doesn’t even need to stand up in court.”

 

“You . . . You . . .”  Snoke clutches his chest, and starts gasping for air, like a fish pulled up on the deck of a boat.

 

Hux moves to him, frantically pulling at his shoulder.  “Sir? Sir?”

 

Rey and Kylo look at one another, then he strides to the doors and pulls them open.  

 

Kylo walks past four men in dark suits.  “Gwen, call 911. I think Snoke’s having a heart attack.”

  
  


\------------------------------------------

  
  


The minute they hit the sidewalk in front of the building, Kylo scoops her up in his arms and swings her around.  Rey’s laugh is like bells in his ears, the sound of rushing water to a man dying of thirst.

 

He nuzzles her neck.  “Oh my God, baby, that was so hot.  You were like a warrior queen defending me.” 

 

“ _ Your queen, _ I’m your queen,” she laughs then peppers his cheeks with kisses.  “Did you see them? Did you see the look on their faces?”

 

He slides her down but holds her safe in his arms.  “I’ve never seen Snoke look like that before in all those years.  You shocked the hell out of him. And the rat bastard Hux, he was pissing his pants.”

 

Rey’s smile falters.  “Snoke’s okay, right? We didn’t actually kill him?”

 

“He just had a panic attack.  They’re giving him oxygen and taking him for observation.  That fucker doesn’t have a heart to stop.”

 

She laughs and reaches up to cup his face.  Kylo leans into her hand as her thumb traces the plane of his cheekbone.  Rey looks at his lips and says softly, “We’re free, baby. We did it. We really did it.”

 

He nods and turns to kiss her palm, then presses her hand back to his face with his.  Together. We did it together.”

 

Rey’s phone buzzes in her bag.  “It’s Rose. She and Finn are dying to know how it turned out.”

 

He takes a step back and leans against his car as she talks on the phone, cupping her other ear to hear her friends. 

 

Rey paces back and forth, a huge grin lighting her up, and he’s content to just watch her shamelessly.  Her bright eyes and wide smile take him back to the moment she walked into his life on a ray of sunshine, like a gift straight from the angels.  

 

He never could have guessed then what she would be to him.  That she would be the one to save him. 

 

Rey’s pacing stops.  “Oh my God, it was epic!  Snoke couldn’t say anything!  I wish you could have seen it, Rose!”  She turns back and smiles at Kylo. “No, tell Finn it was even better than that.  We gutted him like a fish!”

 

She starts walking again, and he lets his eyes drift down to her perfect ass.  “Tell Kaydel thank you so much! I’ll return her equipment this afternoon. You posted it on private on Youtube, right?  So we have a record? Okay. Okay, great.”

 

Rey nods and lifts her eyes to him, catching him checking her out.  He just smiles back at her, unashamed of being caught, his fingers itching to touch her again.

 

“Yeah, he looks happy.  Really happy, actually.”

 

Rey walks up to where Kylo leans on the Tesla.  Her hands are taken up with the phone and cupping her ear, so she slowly leans into him as he reaches down for her hips.  She presses her body weight on him, in full contact from breasts to thighs, and peeks up in mock innocence as he stares down at her.  

 

“Yeah, we have some stuff to do this afternoon.  But we could meet up at four I bet.”

 

Rey slowly shifts side to side and he digs his fingers into her hips to hold her closer.  “I think I can convince him to come out and celebrate. I know he likes Starkiller.”

 

He exhales just outside her ear, and a strand of her hair lifts up.  “I mean, if he’s not too tired out.” She peeks back up and licks her lips. 

 

“Okay, I’ll see you later.”  Rey hangs up and slips the phone in her back pocket.  Kylo reaches his hands around to cup her ass and pull her tight as she rubs against his groin.  He’s half-hard already. 

 

His lips are a few inches from hers.  “What was all that about?” he murmurs.

 

“I think we deserve our own private victory lap first,” she says, then stretches for a kiss.

 

He parts his lips and their tongues meet, the adrenaline of their fight being funneled downward as she grinds against him and his fingers squeeze her ass.

 

Kylo pulls back first, “Your place or mine?”

 

“Mine,” she says.  “I want to see you in that mirror again.”

 

He growls and nips at her chin.  “Fuck, baby, that can be arranged.”

 

\--------------------------------

 

As they drive to her apartment, the music cuts out as Kylo receives an incoming call.  His eyebrows lift in surprise. “It’s my mom.”

 

Rey looks at him.  “Answer it,” she nudges him, gently.

 

Kylo exhales through pursed lips as he pushes a button.  “Hello, Mom.”

 

An older woman’s whiskey-warm voice says, “Hello, Ben, I saw you on t.v.”

 

“Yeah, Mom, thank you.  We couldn’t have done it without your connections.  I appreciate that.”

 

“And I saw your lovely girl.  Rey, is it?”

 

“Yes, she’s with me right now.”  He turns to her and she smiles.

 

“Hello, Mrs. Solo,” Rey says clearly.

 

“Oh, hello Rey!  I was very moved hearing you speak.  You are a strong and impressive young lady, I can’t wait to meet you.  I told Ben he should bring you over for dinner on Sunday, are you free?”

 

He shakes his head lightly at her, and she smiles.  “Let me check my calendar. I would love to meet you.  I’ll see if that can be arranged.” She winks at him and he rolls his eyes.

 

“Good!  You know, Ben, a mother doesn’t usually hear that her son’s in love at the same time as the entire city, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.  Talk about it and let’s get together to eat.” 

 

“Okay, Mom.”

 

“Oh, and Ben?  Did you completely destroy that fucker Snoke?”

 

Rey snickers and covers her mouth as Kylo smiles.  “Yes, mom, we did.” 

 

“Thank God.” she says, before pausing and lowering her voice.  “Love you, son.”

 

Kylo waits a beat.  He sees Rey turn to him and he sighs.  “Love you, too, Mom. Tell Dad . . .”

 

“Tell him yourself.  We’ll see you soon. Goodbye, Rey.”

 

“Goodbye, Mrs. Solo.”  Then the call ends and it’s just the two of them.

 

\-------------------------------- 

 

He drives back the familiar path to her apartment.  They link hands walking up to her front door. She stops and reaches in to her bag, then pulls out a silver key and hands it to him, as she looks up at him shyly.

 

“It’s for you.”  She places it in his palm, then wraps his fingers around it.  “So you won’t get locked out again.”

 

He blinks for a moment.  The significance isn’t lost on him.  He curls an index finger under her chin, tilting it up.  “I love you, baby” he says, leaning into her.

 

“I know.”  She kisses him lightly and says, “I love you, too.”

 

He lets them in to her building using his key, and they take the stairs up two at a time. 

 

Anxious to be alone again and start the rest of their lives.

 

Together.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for your comments, I love them!!! Drop by and say hello on my Tumblr: @newerconstellations and check the tag #banging into love and #stay low for images from the chapters.
> 
> Thanks to @rileybabe for her lovely moodboards! She is an absolute treasure.
> 
> *Title and quoted lyrics from song "Stay Low," by Ryn Weaver, give it a listen.
> 
> Thanks to my amazing (Alpha) beta, @strawberrycupcakehuckleberrypie, for her support, giggles, and the inspiration I gain from her beautiful fics, "North Shore" and "True North." All she writes is amazing.
> 
> Also to the tribe of women who keep me laughing, reading, and not-alone: @delia-pavorum (LiteraryMinded on AO3), @numinex919 (on AO3), @raven-maiden (beautiful Tumblr Reylo metas), @kittenthecat (fic librarian), and @strawberrycupcakehuckleberrypie. #SmutMoms forever


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